What Are Some Ridiculous Things JWs Have Said?

by minimus 64 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Masturbation is not a problem, it's a solution.

  • sd-7

    At a circuit assembly, the circuit overseer says in a talk, "You don't deserve a vacation! That's Satan's thinking!"

    I looked around, wondering if anyone else had noticed what he'd just said. Everyone's eyes were glazed over and their attention did not waver. This was just after I started to wake up to reality. That was the first statement made that convinced me I wasn't going mad, after all.


    He somehow got it confused with a bottle gourd plant,
    because he wrote his talk around the amazing help of Jah's holy spirit -
    to kill so many Philistines with a VEGETABLE!

    It was probably funnier to watch a Vegtable give the Talk..

    ........................ ...OUTLAW

  • Quirky1

    I was told not to eat Lucky Charms....could bring demons into your house..lol And, not to eat pretzel knots...because of some sort of religious thingy..WTF?

  • Slayerbard

    During a circuit assemble the did a Demo with a family that I knew and one of the lines the parents told there children was.. "You kids are always well behaved and study your bible and listen to Jehovah.. that is one of the reasons your mom and I love you so much."

    I looked around wondering if I was hearing things... apparently unconditional love for your children is out the window now..

  • minimus

    The elders used to say "charm bracelets" were demonic!

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    That I would not finish high school or get old.

    Sour Grapes

  • Magwitch

    My Ying Yang necklace was Satanic

  • villabolo

    Page 165 of the Finished Mystery (First or early edition) that explains why bald headed men are the founders of Christendom. Don't have the patience to type it out but if anyone cares to it could probably be downloaded from some site (?). Just don't let the smoke come out of your mouth.


  • dissed

    Quirky1 - "I was told not to eat Lucky Charms....could bring demons into your house..lol"

    So its really true! Like the commercial showed them all flying around, above the bowl.Yikes!!!

    "They're magicallydemonically deliscious!"

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