What Are Some Ridiculous Things JWs Have Said?

by minimus 64 Replies latest jw friends

  • megaflower

    The WTS is F****ed up.

  • minimus

    Rutherford supported Germany and HITLER during WW2. It was all supposed to be part of Bible prophecy being fulfilled.

  • poopsiecakes

    "we needed a library card"

  • Magwitch

    My mother told me I would never even go to kindergarten because the great tribulation would start before then

  • Finally-Free

    An elder once said that Jehovah might create a new kind of insect that eats concrete, steel, and glass after armageddon to make the cleanup of cities easier.


  • minimus

    "We needed a library card"


  • Albert Einstein
    Albert Einstein

    An elder in our cong. said, that byuing 1 liter size hair shampoo is not wise, because you cannot use it all before Armageddon comes.

    Really not making this up, it was some 20 years ago, when communism have colapsed, Peace and Security was proclaimed, and the end was so close......


  • lepermessiah

    1) Holding hands and embracing during prayer could STUMBLE others....

    2) A Generation can span centuries.....

    3) Elders and MS could come forward and admit a wrongdoing, as long as it was 3 years ago or longer, Hey, all is forgiven!

    4) Any letter they have sent out regarding their care and compassion of young children and protecting them from pedophiles.

    5) Organ transplants are cannibalism

    My personal favorite platform experience:

    We had this whack-job of an elder, and he was an embarrassment of a speaker, even by WT standards.

    He was giving a talk about bible reading and went on and on how we should read the Bible on every occasion possible.

    "Even while we are sitting in the bathroom, taking care of business, we should be READING OUR BIBLE!" he thundered.

    I almost crapped my pants from laughing.

    There were a number of new ones in attendance - never to be seen again - LOL!!

  • Slayerbard

    Angels aren't Immortal..and eat spiritatual carrots. Circuit overseer said this too

    a brother read the "Nasa and the Missing Day" urban legend from the platform during a public talk, as FACT. They all bought it..

    The watchtower society would never lie.. Was in a watchtower article... IMHO if you have to point out you doing lie..then your probably a LIAR. Otherwise you wouldn't feel the need to do so.

    Bad dream? DEMONS are out to get you!! If you watch a scarry movie demons can come through the TV and get you...

    If you take Blood Fractions you are violating God Law and will DIE in armageddon!! Oops our bad.. there ok now...But if you did it BEFORE we said it is ok, you will still DIE!! Cause the light hadn't changed color yet! And you disobeyed us! never mentioning all the people who died and allowed their children to die because of this, and how cause of their dimwittedness they are bloodguilty

  • zoiks

    2 statements from the platform:

    First, a not-so-funny one: During a public talk, the speaker said something like, "Now this next part deals with lots of numbers and such, so it might go right over you sisters' heads."

    Now, a funny on: One guy was giving the bible highlights in the chapters dealing with Samson. He was telling the account of Samson killing a bunch of Philistines with a cattle goad (prod). He somehow got it confused with a bottle gourd plant, because he wrote his talk around the amazing help of Jah's holy spirit - to kill so many Philistines with a VEGETABLE!

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