:What Are Some Ridiculous Things JWs Have Said?
What are some SENSIBLE things they've said? That's what I want to know!
The other part is easy to make a list about!
Farkel
What Are Some Ridiculous Things JWs Have Said?
by minimus 64 Replies latest jw friends
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WTWizard
The weight of the water in the Flood pushed down the rock masses to form ocean trenches (anyone who has ever been on a seesaw knows this cannot be--get some heavy person on one side (the rock) and a small child on the other (the water), and see if the child can push down the heavy person).
Fornication, in of itself, is "loose conduct". (Loose conduct, as they define it, is a brazen disregard for authority. If fornication is committed in the heat of the moment, it does not betray any brazen disregard for anything). Also, that coming "too close" to fornication is also "loose conduct" and merits disfellowshipping.
Being told to just meet other men at the a$$emblies on several consecutive sessions, and then being told "It is not necessarily so that it is permanent". Whenever they use "Not necessarily" in this context, the "Not" can simply be disregarded.
The witlesses are saving money being in the cancer. Yes, they save money by not giving anything for Christmas, by not smoking or gambling, and by not buying nice things for themselves. However, this is offset by the money they waste or forgo by not going to college, with suit dry cleaning, gas and car wear and tear in field circus, keeping up with the rules on suits and haircuts, field circus supplies, not being able to get a decent job because it is "unscriptural", replacing crap that they had to get because getting good stuff would have been "materialistic", and eating at McDonald's every day because they needed to stay out in field circus. Plus, the money donated to the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund. I have found that these expenses exceeded the expenses of the holidays and getting good stuff in the first place.
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teel
Adam and Eve didn't notice that they were naked before they eat the fruit, because they were too preoccupied with spiritual things.
Inspirational stories - one elder from an other congregation who often visited was constantly inserting in his public speach on of those inspirational stories you can read on the internet. I particulary remember the one that had the clear message of Carpe Diem twisted to sound like you have to go on FS more.
Urban legends - JWs are notorious for promulgating them, especially if they can spin it to support some wacko idea of theirs. I also heard the "Nasa and missing day" urban legend told as truth.
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carla
When asking my jw why some jw's become ex jw's after reading Romans and/or Galatians and suggesting he should read them he replied, 'Why would I read them then?"
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carla
From an elder during a 'discussion' about all the false prophecies of the wt- 'they didn't say 'thus' sayeth the Lord so they are not false prophets". Me- (because he put the emphasis on 'thus')" Are you serious? because they didn't say 'thus'?!" - Elder 'yes'. Me-"how many people use the word 'thus' today or in the past 100 years?' Elder changes subject.
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asilentone
An elder(yes a PO!) in my old congregation gave the public talk about sex and marriage. He said to the Audience," if any of you have masturbation problems, please do not be embarrassed to talk to me about it"
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Magwitch
if any of you have masturbation problems, please do not be embarrassed to talk to me about it
Silenttone...Was there a suspisiously long line to talk to him after the meeting?
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asilentone
I did not see anything like that.
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AllTimeJeff
," if any of you have masturbation problems, please do not be embarrassed to talk to me about it"
I would have said "No thanks Br PO, I already know how to do it."
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nancy drew
when i think back some strange and funny things come to mind. there was a demo about being a spiritual babe and one of THE "brothers" sat on the stage wearing only a diaper and holding a bottle I was a new witness and it made me laugh. another time and elderly "brother announed that one of the elders was turning 40 today. and then a "brother doing a bible reading jer 36:22 read and the king was sitting in the winter house in the ninth month with a"brassiere" burning before him. those were funnier times before it all went south for me.