Please help? My sis has been summoned to a JC without a prior meeting.

by creativhoney 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • moshe

    Would your sister go, if summoned to a court martial of the French Foreign Legion? Ridiculous isn't it?- she would just ignore a summons like that. Then, why obey those sneaky elders and do their bidding? Tell them to go bug off.

  • etna

    I like cattails idea, but your sis can just say that she believes the bible and is not sure of a few things and needs help to understand them. That is if she wants not to get df. I can't stand how we are suck into THEIR MEETING WITH THEM. They are not the almighty, but you can play their game and not get df. Hope it goes well, keep us posted.


  • dssynergy

    I think the suggestions to meet with them, and fake it as much as possible are good. Depending on how many different people have "reported" her, maybe she can pass it off as conversations where she was looking for help with her concerns. If she is accused of something, then I think the suggestions of being contrite are good. Fess up to what they know, don't give away too much, but be very repentant about what they do know. If that doesn't seem to do any good, then I would say go to the attorney letter as your back up. I would have it ready and with you at the meeting in case things go south.

  • nugget

    If she is determined to go then you will not talk her out of it. From your posts it sounds like she does not wish to be df'd and is trying to BS her way out of it.

    Problem if she has been talking to others then they will have witnesses who may appear against her.

    She can say she is grateful to have this opportunity to set the record straight. She has been doing alot of personal study lately and has been concerned about a number of things she has read in the old watchtowers which directly contradict what has been said in later editions. She has been sincerely searching the societies publications for the answers to her questions and may have expressed her concerns to others. This was merely in the hope that they had found the answers she was seeking. She now appreciates that some self directed study is not helpful and that she needs to be careful of the sources she uses.

    If they could cite specific examples she would be more than happy to address the issues but really her concerns were a sincere attempt to draw closer to Jehovah and make the truth her own. Surely if the Boreans could be commended for diligent study of the scriptures then surely this is a goal she should also strive for.

    She can appreciate how some may have got the wrong idea and will be more than happy to restrict her personal study to more recent publications as they will have the most recent light from the GB. In future if she has any concerns she will be happy to wait on Jehovah for the answers.

    she is sincerely sorry for the trouble caused and the impression some may have taken away. Please be assured this was passion for the Truth not anything else.

    I can't guarantee any success and it really depends on how gobby she has been. She should focus on what she can say and be prepared to repeat herself. JCs tend to go round in circles so the elders are likely to go over the same ground too.

    She also needs to consider what they may require that she does to be in good standing and think about whether she would be happy to have a bible study with a Mature Sister etc.

    If on the other hand she wants to be rid of the society then feel free to go in all guns blazing have her say and then walk out and leave them to it. Don't hang around to be prayed over and questioned just make a statement and get out. If Elders think she is an apostate they really will have little interest in what she has to say regarding false prophecy etc. They will see all this as a sign she is an apostate. She is unlikely to get any to think about their own beliefs. As many have suggested it may not even be worth the effort.

  • Finally-Free

    Personally I wouldn't validate their kangaroo court or perceived authority by attending. Rather, I'd send them a blown up photo of my naked ass so they can pin it on the wall and use it for inspiration for their little circle jerk.


  • creativhoney

    she doesnt want to attend meetings or give up her lifestyle. she also lives with me, her disfellowshipped sister...

    she isnt prepared to change her lifestyle

    but she doesnt want to be DFd

    thats the jist of it.

    Im thinking catch 22.

  • cantleave

    Creativ, it really does sound like catch 22. If she goes she may be able feign repentance, but you can bet your bottom dollar that to show that she will have ti desist association with you. If she doesn't go, she will be seen as unrepentant and they will assess her condition disassociated. If she has been talking to others about her doubts she is on the radar as an apostate thinker, and if the elders have got that idea into their heads they will not let go. I am so sorry, but I feel they will be making announcement soon, whether she goes or not.

  • dig692

    creativ-you mentioned the elders said they heard your sis was saying negative things about the they have any of these things in writing or is it all hearsay? did your sis express her thoughts to people in person or did she ever write it down and email it? point being, if its all hearsay, like 'we heard from this person that you said this' then she can simply say she was misunderstood and wasn't being negative or speaking against the org.

    tell her not to give away what she said, instead wait for them to mention what it is they heard, and then she can say "what i meant by that was.." and say something like others have posted, she was looking for spiritual guidance from others and trying to get insight on where she could look for her questions. tell her to ensure them that she will ask more spiritually mature people next time, like them (the elders) since they would probably be better equipped to answer her questions (flattering them is key).

    if she fakes it well enough, that she is sincere in her efforts to take in more solid food, and that she will be careful of how she asks questions so as not to be misunderstood, she might be able to get away unharmed (or not DFd in this case)

    i hope it goes well for her!

  • sinis

    Grow some balls for Christ sakes!! If she doesn't live by the WTS shit, why be worried about getting DF'd??? makes no sense why people on this board put up with the WTS shit when they have embraced the "wordly" life 120%. Stop being chicken shits, stand up, and basically tell the elders to fuck off. Why even go, why play a game, why cringe in fear of being DF'd???? In the end, WHO FUCKING CARES??!?!?!?

  • palmtree67

    I was living with a df'ed freind for a while. At my JC, they told me I had only 2-3 days to move out or they would df me.

    I moved out and tried to make a go of it, but it was all pretty much a S**Tshow. I would've saved time and much heartache if I had just let them df me then.

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