Hi this is the dreaded sister on now my sis left this accoun logged in !
What has happened is i nhave innocently said to a couple of friends that i am concerned about links to the occult ! He He lol! Due to the pyramid memorial stone next to the masonic buildings right next to CT russels headstone ! and that the society says we are to flee from the occult so why have the wt society left it for all to see! Surely they should destroy this n it states ct russel is a 32/33 degree mason etc! apart from that which i havent mentioned i have seen countless subliminal pictures in publications and then going on to read more about how the society was set up i just no longer believe its from God!
I have a strong belief in most of the teachings but this flaw really bothered me! Most people dont even know about it until they have an issue then start to question is all the guilt worth it! Whis is what happened to me! I have had so many job opportunities in singing etc and i have had to turn them down, never got educated because i believed there was no point ! wasted 3 yrs on a guy who was not serious and then took all the gossip and name calling and ostracism most of my life for not quite fitting in as i settled for doing my own dj/singing business!
Situation is now i dumped my fella, stopped going , bumped into an old friend who i completely fallen for and that is going so well and has been for last six months! Elders not mentioned this to me so hopefully they don't know! I would be more than willing to submit to the disfellowshipping if i really believed they had Gods holy spirit as an organization but i dont and i dont see myself going back to all that pressure and fake fickle conditional friendship / love. But i desperately dont want it to become a hard and fast rule that my family cannot associate or talk with me, they dont bother any way so really i should not be bothered , but it still hurts. I do think this is mostly down to peer pressure.
Ultimately i think they are just hoping to see me happy and settled for once and sorted out! I think emotionally the religion has set me back cos i have spent years being screwed up and drinking a lot then going off my head due to anger about being supressed or feeling not good enough! At the moment i dont have to put up with any of that! The elders say if i want to remain a JW they wont DF me and no witnesses will have to come to the JC as i'm now attending. Im going to try and make out that i was simply scared of the stuff i read and asked a couple of friends for help ! My so called friends who the elders asked to go into the JC refutely deny accusing me of apostasty ! So im not sure wot to expect ! Do u think they have more up their sleeve ! Way i look at this is if they are gonna do it stuff em i cant be bothered listening to all the scriptual reasons for it twisted to suit. But if i have a shot of not being DFd then i will try cos i dont want mum to have to bear the upset !
