What JW catch phrase DRIVES YOU NUTS!!!!

by megaflower 221 Replies latest jw friends

  • Balaamsass
    Balaamsass

    "The Truth"

    "In the Truth"

    "Out of the Truth"

    "Happyfying" (is this even a word?)

    "Jehovah's Happy people"

    "Mother"

    "Faithful slave"

  • crmsicl
    crmsicl

    "I missed you" (translation: Why weren't you at the meeting?)

  • smiddy
    smiddy

    At conventions ," we would like all you brothers & sisters to be seated 15 minutes before the program starts so you can enjoy the kingdom melodies ."

    smiddy

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee

    Stand if your able, and sing song number.....

    Boy....we certainly do need the new system don't we ?

    Todays Wt Study was surely spiritually edifying.

    Be sure to look up the scriptures for your own spiritual edification.

    Certainly Brothers, this would behoove us to.....

    In view of the foregoing we can see that....

    Oh how this gladdens Jehovah's heart

    ...and a study was started.

    Time is rapidly slipping by so we'll dispense with the reading of each paragraph. (this was always good to hear)

    The next subheading in our article is called.....

  • prologos
    prologos

    leprechaun: clapping after a public talk, any talk why?: their clapping, applauding the fact that the speaker is finally leaving platform after all the nutty catch phrases are phased out for now.

  • DarioKehl
    DarioKehl

    Here is a list of single words and phrases that always made me cringe. No one else uses these words in everyday language:

    utmost

    yearn

    use discernment

    warm (our/your) heart

    meek

    yes... (i sat through many hundreds of talks where the speaker began 70% of his sentences with "yes, blah blah bla...)

    thorough

    attentiveness

    wholesome

    upbuilding

    wholehearted

    warmly

    lovingly

    strive

    undeserved kindness

    faithful obedience

    evidently

    many people... (every suggested presentation contained this phrase)

    throng(s)

    trueness

    encouraging

    subjection

    recommended

    exemplary

    TRUE christians

    able-bodied

    christendom

    HARmeggedon

    praise jah

    men/mankind

    followers

    bounteous

    child rearing

    discipline

    loving counsel

    admonish

    please stand if you're able

    adroitly, hillock, pall, braying (and other occasional "vocab words" thrown into a random article or book study intended to solidify the myth the R&F have about how intelligent and special the "slave class" is for using words we had to look up because we were too stoopid to know their meaning; and also to give the die-hards the opportunity to boast their faithfulness and loyalty by showing how diligently they prepared by saying, "I had to look up this word in the dictionary and it's defined as...")

    privilage(s)

    falls to (as in, "the hall cleaning privilage this week falls to the so-and-so book study...)

    hospitable

    god's word

    supplicate

    your ministry

    torture stake

    meditate

    sacred poles

    dungy

    prayerfully

    decorum

    blood guilty

    wickedness

    ! (the over-used exclamation point felt like a cult leader was screaming from the pages)

    befitting

    new order

    reasonableNESS (just say "reason." it's the same goddam thing--why so many suffixes?)

    we are but grasshoppers (usually said by old-timers during a closing prayer, making the kids think, "WTF?")

    society

    ORAL review (...more like anal review)

    bethelite

    your mate (say spouse! jesus christ, we're not apes or australians!)

    food

    welcome to the ranks (a phrase used by many COs at "piosneer-only" meetings)

    do we not... (just say "don't we!" any time "do we not..." came from the platform, that was a cue to follow with obligatory applause to show conformity)

    we (this inclusive collective pronoun is always used and works quite handily in groupthink cult speech.)

    true christians would/wouldn't... (again, a clever manipulative tool any time rules were laid down in the WT. rather than saying, "this is forbidden" or "don't do this," the inclusive, collective noun is given preceded by the qualifier "true." implying, if you don't agree with the statement, you are not a true christian. this subtle approach is their way of telling you what you think.)

    And here's a list of words I always HATED in their songs:

    forlorn

    succor

    "bees that were molested" followed by "beat them off" a few lines later

    master trod

    kiss the son

    haaaaaa.....PENISSSS (when "happiness" was at the end of the stanza, my kid sister and I always used to sing the last half of the word nice and loud lol)

    sumptious

    vigor and vim

    make the truth your own (the WORST song to have at the end of a Thursday night meeting when it's late, you're tired, you have school or work the next day or maybe have to stay late because your dad has an elders meeting and you have to muddle through this 4-stanza, 2-page earworm that plays in your head over and over again the rest of the night).

    REAL PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK IN THIS MANNER.

  • cedars
    cedars

    In Manchester, where I come from, they sometimes say: "It's a new system job" - meaning, "that's one of the many things only the new system can fix".

    Cedars

  • Splash
    Splash

    "Need Greater" - Someone who serves where... Well, you get it.

    Splash.

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    WAIT ON JEHOVAH?!?

    Really?!?

    Makes you wanna

    The person saying it.

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    'thank the Faithful Slave for...(insert arse licking reason)...'

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