Layin' some heavy stuff on ya' (page 2)

SixofNine

Your daughter is horribly mentally ill and has been her entire life, I'd wager. I'm glad her children have you and your wife.

AK - Jeff

Thank you all. Your kind comments do mean a world to me, even if as ATJ stated we are just internet acquaintances.

I am very tired. Thanx again. Goodnight and may God [if there is God] bless you.

Jeff

JeffT

Not sure what to say. I have a son about that age who is fighting some sort of additiction/mental illness. It's a trial. We have a five year old granddaughter living with us.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I frequently hear people at meetings talking about how their parents screwed them up. Later in recovery they figure out that it was the choices they made that messed them up.

I hope this will be a chance for her to get the help she obviously needs. Does your area have any sort of sentencing alternatives if she goes into treatment? It might be an option. On the other hand, taking care of the rest of your family is your first priority.

You and your family have my thoughts and prayers, I wish I could be of more help.

BabaYaga

Ah, Jeff.

I am focused on the kids. I am not sure how to tell them, or when. I don't think I will tell them for a long time.

I agree. As you said, you are not hiding the truth, just see no reason to rush it.

I'm so very sorry that you and your wife (and your grandkids) have such a hurt and hurtful person in your lives. As a beloved and very wise friend of mine once told me, "Everyone has a spark, but some people have hidden theirs so well that no one will ever see it."

Strength and love to you and your family. Heaven knows, you've shown plenty of both already.

Love,
Baba.

Wasanelder Once

Jeff, adoption is a gamble. I fear we are more a product of nature than of nurture. If the dna is damaged, no amount of love you share will heal it. I don't mean she was fated to this end, but she certainly had a tendency. You identified it when you said that she "didn't" fall in love with you as parents. This was a birth deficiency. You cannot take it to heart. Easier said than done. I have seen it again and again in my life, those who love unconditionally a person who will not allow it are most often shit on. Sorry for this eventuality. Perhaps the Grandkids will have enough of thier father's DNA to react to your nurturing and become loving people who appreciate your efforts. I wish you well. Never doubt your love for them, it may be its own reward. W.Once

The Oracle

Hey Jeff,

That sounds pretty rough. Hats off to you for taking care of the grandkids, and making their happiness a focus for you!

Take care friend.

The Oracle

GapingMouth

Jeff, I know we don't know each other pretty much at all, but I wanted to say my thoughts are with you. My brother was recently sentenced to 2 years which affected me greatly. I can only imagine a daughter would feel worse. My wife and I have a 15 month old daughter and she is the best thing in my life, I adore her. I can't imagine what you went through. All the best

wha happened?

Ah this reminds me of what us 3 kids put my parenst through. DNA is a crapshoot. I remember my Mother telling her friend to raise her kids in the best enviroment she can provide and..... eventually the kids make they're own decisions right or wrong.

Out at Last!

Jeff, I am sorry to hear about your situation. You have to know that you did your all for this girl and no fault lies with you or your wife. You show your loving and giving spirit in all that you did for your daughter, and her children. Unfortunately some make bad decisions and refuse to return the love and affection given them.

I can relate to your pain, I had a step son who is still in jail for drug charges and other crimes to support his habits. It is natural to blame yourself and feel responsible for your children's faults, but you know deep down that you and your family are not the reason that she took the actions that she did.

I wish you all the best with your family situation, sometimes the heavy shit comes down only on those strong enough to endure it. I think you are one of those people.

Black Sheep

We are simple, good people. In one lifetime we have had to try and raise a rebel with no cause

I have very mixed emotions on reading your story.

I am a child of parents who chose to join the religion and chose to put me under extreme psychological pressure to conform to the rules and ideals they had chosen for me. Things didn't go the way they expected. Nuff said already.

You have my sympathy.

Chris

Layin' some heavy stuff on ya'

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