Welcome 2pink, lots of us are going through the same as yourself, this is agreat forum to share and learn from others.
On my way out of the "organization" and feeling very lost...
x100 on marriage counseling. You are doing the best thing you possibly can for your children. Even if your marriage goes south, you can raise a better family as a normal person than as a couple in JW's.
Start making some new friends before you drop any bombs. Reconnect with some old school friends or workmates, perhaps.
I'm glad you found the board. Please continue to read read read. Even if your husband won't read things himself (at first) if he listens to you then you are still making headway and much more successful that many of us on the board.
Confusion, irritation, anger, depression, amazement and joy are all part of the exiting process.
Good luck on your journey.
Welcome to the board 2Pink.
Lots of good advise in this thread and others.
Slow and easy is the key with your significant other.
I understand your situation completely as it sounds a whole lot like mine. My wife did the same thing, she wouldn't read anything that contradicted the society. Just be patient. More than anything you can be an influence by your good example showing that even you don't agree with the org. you can still be a excellent person and good mother. Eventually he will probabely come around as my wife finally did. I've been out for about 8 months now. Although she is still in she doesn't believe its "God's organization" and stays only for her family ties.
As far as your religious situation is concerned, take your time and do some honest investigation in all avenues. Don't feel pressured to except many doctrines present in mainstream christian denominations just because you want somewhere to go. Witnesses are not wrong on every single thing as far as the bible is concerned (the trinity for example). Many christians are going to shove that down your throat even implying that your salvation depends on it.
I personally visited many churches, including a synagogue and a mosque, before I left the organization and examined their doctrines in some detail. After much investigation and earnest prayer I was led to embrace Islam as my religion and am happily serving God as a Muslim. So take your time and don't jump into accepting certain doctrines just to fit in, do some honest investigation. I still believe that parts of the bible contain some truth and bear signs of divine inspiration as far as the old testament is concerned. However, it has not been protected from corruption, which can be easily identified with some investigation. Even Jehovah acknowleged that in Jeremiah 8:18 when He said: "How can you say, "We are wise, for we have the Law of the Lord," when actually the lying pen of the scribes has handled it falsely".
At one time you believed that you had the truth and that everything else was falsehood only to realize that it was actually built on hallow reasoning. What your parents and family taught you was not trustworthy although it seemed like it. Could it be possible then that what society around us believes is not necessarily true or that some facts have been exaggerated or misconstrued? It is a huge possibility. So be careful.
If you are concerned, as I was, with worship to God that is pleasing to Him, you should pray to him directly and beg for guidance and direction with sincerity and honest intention. Don't use any mediator or other person's name to pray through. The Jews never prayer to God through someone elses name as a mediator and yet God heard them and answered them. Even when the prophet Moses ( may the peace and blessings of God be upon him) was a type of mediator it was unthinkable to pray to God in the name of Moses. So pray to your Creator directly and seek guidance. I have no doubt that If this is your concern He will hear you. God tells us in The Holy Quran 2:186,
"When my servants ask you concerning me, I am indeed close to them: I listen to the prayer of ever (humble) caller when he calls Me: Let them also, listen to my call and believe in Me, that they may be led to the right way"
Although there will be some difficult times ahead I hope that everything in the end turns out well for you and your family. I will keep you in my prayers.
I just wanted to say how proud I am of all the posters on this thread. The excellent advice and empathy shown are really heartwarming. Good luck 2Pink, It's a brave new world.
We have a Muslim on the board? Cool. I love the diversity. Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself PTV81.
2PINK- It is great to have you here my friend ! Welcome to freedom of mind and expression ! I was a born-in raised a witness like you - was in 44 years, got out 6 years ago. Just stopped going due to injustices I saw and couldn't buy into the " generation " thing anymore. The suggestions you've received to read Steve Hassan's books are very good suggestions. I was like you at first after exiting- somewhat confused as to what to do next , how to think or feel, but after a couple years I read his books " Combatting Cult Mind Control " & " Releasing the Bonds - Empowering People to Think for Themselves " and it helped me understand how I was duped and taken in by the mind control of the WT society and Jehovah's Witnesses. Also another good book is " Crisis of Conscience " by Raymond Franz - an ex-governing body member - it will help you see what REALLY goes on behind the decision making process of the governing body- it will surprise you.
I understand how hard it can be to be with a mate who is fanatically involved as a JW. Just try to be kind, supportive, and authentic. Don't argue doctrine with him- it will just piss him off and make you cry , then nobody wins. It's not about winning anyway - it's about freedom of mind and being real as a family and surviving the changes in an appropriate way . Just show by your love that you care about him and the children - and in time he may get tired of going to meetings by himself. I wish you the best, hang in there, you are among friends here
A couple of thoughts:
I began having serious doubts first, which shook my husband up, but I brought up issues a bit at a time, and he would think about them later (according to him). One of the issues I had was with blood (as you mentioned). I asked my husband how it could be okay to accept fractions of blood, if the only thing that was supposed to be done with blood was pour it out on the ground. If we accept blood fractions, aren't we encouraging people to break God's law?
The other question I asked him was: How did he plan to explain to people in the door-to-door work the change in the understanding of the generation. As you mentioned, we spent many, many years insisting that we could absolutely prove, from the Bible, that the generation alive in 1914 would not pass away before the end came. What do we say now? Why should they have any confidence that our new explanation is worth anything more than the old one?
I wish you the best. My husband and I are both out now.