Your post isn't all over the place at all. I very well could have written it myself. This board often feels like looking in a mirror.
On my way out of the "organization" and feeling very lost...
Oh my dear 2Pink!!
You sound so much like me a few months ago......Just relax and breathe.......keep reading here......you are NOT the crazy one......
Hugs to you tonight,
thank you so much for all the replies (and the bible recommendations)! really, you've made me feel much better.
so, it's normal to just walk around really confused for a while??? it feels very strange to go from being rock solid in faith in one thing to feeling utterly clueless.
i do like what bluecanary posted above "i'd rather have questions i can't answer than answers i can't question". SO true!
You are normal, hunny!
Just ride it out......ride it out.
You don`t get a Penguin..Unless your over 5 Ft Tall..
How tall are you?
Welcome 2pink. You've come to one of the best places to find support and answers.
It's perfectly natural to feel confused initially. When we left (with boys aged 2 years and 8 weeks) I was terrified of losing faith so joined a church (which was quite satisfying to start with) much to the horror of my friends and family (and husband who had been a secret atheist for a while). I bought myself a New International Life Application Study Bible (which I'd recommend). However, having finally given myself permission to explore the dark side (atheism), I now don't go to church and am not convinced there is a magic man in the sky and as for Jesus - there is no proof he ever existed.
So, take it slow, don't panic, explore any and all religions you want to but indulge your secular passions too, start building a solid network of non-JW friends and have faith in yourself. You're a brave soul coming this far and you have my utmost respect for daring to follow your heart and show integrity. You have a tough journey ahead but the price of freedom is worth the pain.
We're here for you.
Some other sites you might want to consider: Freeminds.org , JWfacts.com, and call 1-800-WHY-1914. the 1800 number you will talk to a real person who can answer all info on 1914. She's a nice lady who can also give you one-on-one advise. I went through the same thing 10 years ago. Its tough, but I am soooo much happier now than I was any day as a JW. The Watchtower org. has a way with mind control, and you my find as you awake from the mind control you don't even know who you really are. The first step for me was to learn about who I really was. Learn to know yourself first. If you know yourself you will know God. After all he made us in his image.
Where to go? First, this forum is a good start. Also, I suggest looking into various churches online--and see if you can locate their core doctrines and beliefs on their official web site. If you do not find it despite a reasonable search on the site, they may have something to hide.
Chances are excellent that all churches (both Christian and Muslim) are going to have their theme that we were all born in sin, born dirty, and that we "need" a savior (who died for your sins) in order to be cleansed. Then, after this "savior" made this sacrifice, you are going to have to make additional sacrifices (money, time, and freedom) to ensure you benefit from this "perfect sacrifice, to which nothing ever need be added". This doctrine is nothing more than a scam--intended to get your money and limit your freedom to think.
However, churches do have one advantage. They do your thinking for you. If you are too lazy to be like God, knowing good from evil, by all means go to the church of your choosing. Many churches also offer you a means to contribute to society regardless of whether you believe their doctrine or not, and you might join for that alone. However, if you want to control your own thinking (and are willing to do the work involved), no church is best (unless you are there only for the connections or to contribute to society regardless of belief). You do not need spiritual guidance from any church or Kingdumb Hell.
The most non-denominational "church" is simply reading the Bible, on its own, with no help from outside sources. If you can put away all prejudice about the Bible or anything therein (even being willing to throw out the "God is good" scam if you see things in the Bible that rebut it), you are more likely to see the truth in the Bible. Even if you are willing to accept the possibility that the Bible lies. Then, you might realize you are going to have to do the thinking work yourself, with help from the Internet (which gives you access to billions of sources to integrate it), if you are to get the best possible answers.
Welcome to the forum 2Pink,
I can certainly understand your feelings in regards to your husband. I am not a JW but my wife is and for the last six years of my marraige, I've been to "Bible Studies", meetings, assemblies, etc. and have been getting my dose of Watchtower teachings. My wife and I never took religion too seriously though we agreed that it was a good thing to live by. I continued going to various churches but found "issues" with them (thanks largely to my wife pointing them out). When she became more zealous about becoming a witness after my daughter's 3rd birthday party (that she threw) I realized quickly that I really had no religion and wasn't sure anymore what religion is right. I began researching and discovered many things that the Bible teaches that don't jive with the Watchtower and learning the darker side of the organization itself. I was scared to say the least but in the midst of that experience, I found Jesus.
If you are looking for an interdenominational church, I recommend a community church as they tend to be more interdenominational. Most all Christian churches don't force doctrine down people's throat but there are a few legalistic churches that tend to rival the Watchtower in their teachings though so be careful. I personally was baptized in such a legalistic church and remember feeling depressed very often as it seems like no matter what I did, I never measured up. Take your time though and get to know the real Jesus and the real you more and before you go and join a church. In spite of what the Watchtower teaches, you do not need to be a formal member of a church to be saved. In the meantime, get an accepted translation of the Holy Bible and read and study it (if you haven't already done so). Personally, I read the four gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) in the new testament to get to know the real Jesus. The NIV is the most popular amongst the accepted translations, the NASB (the translation I own a copy of) is a more literal translation from the original biblical text. I also own a KJV reference Bible that I find very useful. It was given to me as a Christmas present from a member of the legalistic church I used to attend (they were also a KJV only crowd).
I would also recommend visiting this website (http://www.4jehovah.org/) to learn the differences between what the Watchtower teaches and what Christianity teaches.
he has expressed many doubts over the years as i have and has missed many meetings/service/etc, but now that i am finally deciding to act on those doubts and get out, he is trying to get religious on me and now go to all the meetings...?!?!
This is so typical I can't even begin! My dad, who had always been luke warm at best, began to go to meetings without my mom when she began to pull away. It was temporary - within a few months he pulled away and his eyes were opened.
Hang in there!