On my way out of the "organization" and feeling very lost...

by 2pink 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • nelly136

    it may be worth you gewtting the steven hassan books

    releasing the bonds and combatting cult mind control. they may help you understand why jws think the way they do and help you to find a way

    of talking to your husband without sending him screaming to the kh

  • BabaYaga

    Welcome, 2Pink!

    I agree with BizzyBee... very likely this is a temporary "zealousness" of your husband. I have seen this many times... when one has doubts of their own but are afraid of facing them... they double their efforts in the "service" in hopes that all of the discomforts and doubts will go away. We know, don't we? The doubts will NOT got away. Happily, the discomfort usually does.

    Be patient and loving with him AND with yourself! As PalmTree said... breathe.


  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Hi 2pink. Welcome to the forum.

    Your story rings a lot of my bells.

    I married an Anglican. Now she is a JW and I am evil because I am not.

    My kids left home before I woke up to what the WT really was, so your kids have a much better chance at a normal life than mine.

    Stick around and ask questions.



  • jonathan dough
    jonathan dough

    Try Green's Literal Translation of the Bible. Also Strong's Exhaustive Concordance with Vine's dictionary. It is easy to prove husband wrong. Just beat him over the head with facts.


  • bohm

    Hey and welcome aboard! I absolutely recommend you to read stephen hassans 'Combatting cult mind-control' before approaching your husband, Stephen Hassan is a former moonie, and he directly address how to approach loved ones in high-control groups.

  • Chalam

    Hello 2pink and welcome aboard!

    John 14:6 John 10:10 John 6:35 Revelation 21:6 Revelation 22:17

    All the best,


  • KDubbz

    Hi 2pink :-) Welcome to this forum. I don't post here regularly but I think I'll post more now from on. You can find plenty of love and support here unlike the Watchtower organization. I know it will be difficult for you at first. I would recommend you to start fading. Try to get more involved with other things like other posters said. That way you will be able to make more friends outside of the WT organization while fading. Once you got friends and a great support team, you can get out of the organization for good without feeling too much pain. But on the other hand, your family are very loyal JWs so I can understand how difficult it is for you.

    Just take things slowly and things will take care of itself. That way you will be able to make transition smoother with less pain.

  • wobble

    Hi 2Pink !

    Great to have you here, I feel for you, I was in a similar position 18 months or so ago when I left.all my family are super-Dubs,I have a 90 year old (Dub) Mum, so I decided to "Fade" as per the advice above.

    You have to be careful if you get the 2 Elder visit,seek advice on here first.

    But I will say it has been,not an easy journey for me, and my Wife, but an exciting one, the FREEDOM ! to explore everything,including yourself !

    I would say take it slowly, make no sudden or rash moves or decisions. On Sunday I gave my Wife the first proper Birthday card she has had in sixty years ! (Blimey, that means I am going to bed with a pensioner !) She is now happy to fade with me (her Mum is a Dub,but very sweet)

    Please keep posting, we are all here for you,for advice ,support, or just a chat and a laugh,

    Welcome again,and to Hubby soon I hope,

    Lots of love,


  • yknot

    .....my advice....

    Get a good balanced counselor! One that understands your (yalls) goals and desires for the marriage (like keeping it intact but respecting and tolerating each personal religious view in regards to child rearing).

    Transition is tough on marriages and why suffer needlessly if yall can have a moderator who is unbiased and focused soley on yall's pre-determined goals.

    Perhaps consider joining a church that has a strong children's social program to help the kiddos adjust and make new friends.

    Best Wishes on your journey

    Glad you have joined

    Looking forward to more of you comments, experiences and thoughts!

  • thomas15

    Hello 2pink,

    I've never been a JW but I would like to offer my 2 cents. Regarding Bible translations, I have a huge collection of Bibles. While my personal favorite translation is the NKJV (New King James), I would recommend that you try the NIV or the NLT (New Living Translation). The NIV being my first choice, but any modern translation that you could find in your local Bible bookstore (or christianbook com) is going to be better than the NWT.

    As far as your spouse is concerned, there are plenty of ex-JWs who can offer expert advice on that as it is a tricky situation. I'm married and have two teen age kids and yet I go to church by myself most weeks. My advice for a church if you so desire is one that is Bible based and Christ centered. I consider myself Baptist but even I'm uncomfortable with some Baptist Churches. But for now you would be best advised to stay away from any commitment as far as churches go. I have been attending my church for 2 years and have not joined and yet I go every week, play in the praise band and make myself generally at home there. For what it is worth, I go to an Evangelical Free Church.

    One thing 2pink, you are not an idiot, actually you are quite smart and honest. It takes guts to do what you are doing. Raymond Frantz in his excellent book C of C wrote that as a member of the GB, he thought he was an expert on the Bible and when he left the org. found out otherwise. A person can study the Bible every day for 50 years and still not be an expert, I know after 35 years, I'm not.

    I like others here look forward to hearing from you. I hope that I can be of some encouragement.


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