I am still at that point of wondering if I am doing the right thing by leaving. Sometimes I wish someone would just say YES IT'S THE RIGHT THING! Everything I am learning is showing me they told me lies and it has totally ticked me off big time. When do you start feeling stronger and know you did the right thing?
Have you Overcome Guilt & Fear Since Exiting Jehovah's Witnesses ?
I'm simply terrified the WTS eventually will get a "prophecy" right. I mean, after 125 years of 100% failure in prophecy, the odds of getting at least one right are now in their favor.
Don't worry Farkel
Buy some lotto tickets........you'll have a better chance of winning than the WT organization has of getting any biblical prophecy right!
...or that we weren't good enough in God's eyes, the WT societies eyes, or the elders eyes and that we could NEVER do enough to make up for our deficiencies. Have you been able to develop self esteem after exiting the JW cult ? Or has the damage been such that it is taking YEARS to build up your self esteem ?
I easily put behind ideas that I was failing God or "His organization." I do have some issues with depression, but it is from issues that I had before I was a JW and were left unresolved because I found "the truth" and the imminent end was going to solve all my problems. Once I left, I had to get back to those (now nearly 20 years old) issues. It's just sad that my wife assumes my problem is caused by "leaving the truth" when in reality
Are you fearful of Armageddon anymore, or do you think it was a false tactic used to keep you under control and fear ?
I definitely was able to let go of fear of Armageddon. I did this all over the years that I did not leave WTS meetings. It was definitely a tactic to keep us under control.
One of the things that got to me when I was a JW was the constant feeling of guilt over this thought or that word I said or what I wasn't accomplishing etc, etc.
When I left 3 years ago I was determined not to feel guilt. Guilt is only a good thing for people to feel who are doing bad, bad shit.
I have felt no guilt about leaving the religion behind, nor have I felt any guilt for my current lifestyle which I enjoy very much & which does no harm to anyone.
JADEEN - Wow ! Your husband was held up at gunpoint in his job 3 times ? Does he work at a bank ? Or night cerk at a mini-mart ? Your parents were wrong to blame you . What would make them blame you ?
WANTSTOLEAVE- Hugs back to ya ! Thanks.
SCREWPROOF- Welcome to the board friend ! You stated, " Sometimes I wish someone would just say YES IT'S THE RIGHT THING ! " O.K. Then, I'll say it , " YES IT'S THE RIGHT THING !! " LEAVE already ! But seriously - In answer to your question " When do you start feeling stronger and know you did the right thing ? " Well - I can only speak for myself Screwproof - But I started feeling stronger a couple years after exiting the witnesses when I started doing outside research in books like " Crisis of Conscience " and Steve Hassan's " Combatting Cult Mind Control " and " Releasing the Bonds " - books which educated me on WHAT I experienced as a witness and I learned HOW it affected me- then I came to understand things more clearly. As I read more and more my decision to leave the JW's was confirmed by proof of factual things I read about the WT organization and the mind control tactics they use.
I have never felt such freedom, happiness of mind, and clarity since leaving the witnesses as I did once I read those books . I HIGHLY recommend you read them . It will help. I feel stronger and I know I did the right thing leaving. Go prove it to yourself friend. That's how you'll feel better.
FARKEL- Funny stuff ! Hey buddy- I don't think we have any worries. If they ain't got it right in 125 years - it ain't comin ' ! LOL!
OUTFORGOOD- Your advice is good ! Better shot at winning the lotto than the WT prohecies coming true ! LOL!
OTWO- OTWO- So it sounds like the WT society kind of temporarily interrupted your internalization process by putting a bandaid on your former issues for awhile and then once you got out you found you needed to address them again in an authentic way. I'm glad you have been able to face them without the WT bandage which tends to minimize dealing with those issues in reality. Like you - for years I knew the Armageddon thing was probably a lot of baloney. I was assuming so after the 1975 debacle.
JAMBON 1- Good point. I too was always being told I was not measuring up, not doing enough . But it was like a bottomless pit in the org. - we could NEVER do enough. So I gave up trying. I'm glad you have found a happy, purposeful life outside the witnesses. Good for you
Been working for a couple days straight- wanted to bump this up if some hadn't seen it. All replies welcome. Thanks ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
No guilt. I briefly felt guilty about the way I acted as a Witness. But now I could just apologize to everyone, buy them a beer like a normal person, and move on with life.
Some fear of death issues did creep up for me. I don't think these are any worse than when I was a JW and obsessed about surviving Arma-get-it-on.
SPOOK- I'm glad you moved on and don't have guilt. That's cool. I too felt guilty about the way I dissed a friend from high school in that we didn't invite him to the wedding years ago as he was a non-witness. But I have since aplogized 30 years later,he accepted and we are friends once again. Fear of death can filter in at times. I understand that totally
No dont class myself as wicked...I just know that justice will be done, if i survive great :) if i dont then however sad that maybe thats that i guess.
I dont serve Jehovah for future rewards, i serve out of love. Loyal love, unconditional love.