Feeling numb... feeling like I did when I first DAed.

by Elsewhere 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • Scully
    Scully

    Elsewhere.... no matter what... just know that we all love you and care about you.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    He loves you and is only expressing his fears based on his own personal belief. According to your current beliefs it really doesn't matter so rather then get bogged down too much in religiousity see this time for what it is.......and embrace every last moment he is with yall, forgiving what needs to be let go in order to find closure that allows yall to be together at the end of his time in peace. Let love be the uniting force.

    That was a good post. Otherwise, strength to you. Staying busy is fine. Not being about to stay focused is fine too. Don't be too hard on yourself.

  • dissed
    dissed

    My wife just lost her mother, a non-JW to cancer this last year. She was with her every chance she could be, along with our daughter. They shared many precious memories together. They both said they all felt they came to know each other much better.

    She gave my teenage daughter a ring she got from her first boyfriend, 70 years previously, while both were sharing there "dating" experiences. That ring never leaves her hand.

    Unfortunately, the JW side of the family came to visit her about every other week, and then for only an hour or so. They were always too busy to stay longer and said so. I wanted to slap them one time when they said they had to get back early to study the WT for the meeting.

    Her Mom, the kindest lady I've ever known, was so hurt by their treatment, sent them a letter near the end, mentioning since they were so busy, it would be a good idea not to come around.

    My wife an apostate, voluntarily sacrificed and took care of her mother, was with her to the end.

    To the JW side, it was a burden and was clearly recognized as such by the rest of the family.

    Its a very stressful and emotional time, dealing with a loved one who is dying from cancer. Families need their collective support. The rest of the family wanted to know, since we used to be JW's, what makes them this way, they couldn't uderstand it.

    My wife, feels this is the thing she hates the most about the JW. What they do families. Whether DF'd or not, they separate them. She hates what the JW's have done to her family.

    My heart goes out to you 'Elswhere', you have my best wishes that you and your father can get to know each other better in the time he has left.

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    >It's called dissociative

    How do I go about finding someone experienced with dissociation, depression and cults?

    Years ago I tried going to therapy (tried several people) but every session turned into my teaching the therapist and me not getting anything out of it. I just quit, went home and barely got through it on my own. I spent most of my time asleep.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    I'm very sadened to hear about your father Elsewhere. Try to call him once in a while just to say

    "Hello Dad" been thinking about you... he will appreciate it. My father did, he passed from cancer quite a few years ago.

    Keep busy and may you find that inner strength to get through this all.

    (((((hugs))))))

  • Goshawk
    Goshawk

    Elsewhere -

    How do I go about finding someone experienced with dissociation, depression and cults?

    Years ago I tried going to therapy (tried several people) but every session turned into my teaching the therapist and me not getting anything out of it. I just quit, went home and barely got through it on my own. I spent most of my time asleep.

    ------------------

    A good source of information would be your physician. Also, tell your physician about your sleeping as it might be a sign of depression.

    Hang in there.

  • aligot ripounsous
    aligot ripounsous

    Elsewhere,

    I've never had to handle a situation likes yours because I'm (was) about the only JW in the family, so I offer you the best I have, sympathy. What I experienced before my Mum passed away 3 years ago, past 91, and found it very comforting, was staying with her as much as I could, every evening, because we both knew that time was getting precious. It was a comforting feeling, afterwards, to know that I had done as much as I had been able to, and I believe it was a solace to her to see 2 of her 3 children, and one of her grand daughters, near her in those instants. I'm sure that your JW family won't bar you from doing so, JWs as they are, they are humans and, who knows, you might get closer to one another in these circumstances. My best wishes to you, and to your Dad.

    A thought for Purps who hasn't had a chance to draw closer to her Mum last WE.

  • Trevor Scott
    Trevor Scott

    Hang in there Elsewhere. I feel for you.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    You've got a PM

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Sorry to hear your Bad news Elswhere.

    You could try calling the Texas Cult Awareness Network, (214) 453-2531. They might keep a shortlist of suitable councelors.


    Chris

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