Feeling numb... feeling like I did when I first DAed.

by Elsewhere 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • crapola

    Elsewhere,, Please remember that all on here care for you and really hate what you are going through. I lost my Dad to cancer almost 13 years ago and it is very hard to deal with. And then with the religion thing and work. But you will survive and things will get better in time. Hang in there friend. Don't give up!

  • truthseekeriam

    Really sorry to hear of your situation.

    I never had to deal with watching a family member deal with cancer, not to mention the added stress of the shunning issue so I can't say I know what your going through and give you any pearls of wisdom.

    I will say it looks form reading the above posts you have some good support and a lot of thoughts and prayers going your way. Mine included


    I've known others who would keep busy to get through things. My problem is that I shut down at times like this. It's a struggle to do anything.
    To make it worse, there are rumors of more lay-offs coming at work.
    Just too much.

    I`ve had a real Shitstorms..


    That have lasted longer,than is healthy for anyone..

    I`ve always survived..

    You will too..


  • carla

    I'm sorry Eslewhere.

  • Butterflyleia85

    Wow that's so sad, I'm so sorry! That would be awful to deal with. I too am DF and I really have a battle right now with going back. But say if I were in your shoes what if my grandma said that to me to after tell me she had cancer. It scares me.

    But "survive" you say...

    I agree with Yknot, sounds like your father loves you and if you remember being a JW you would probably say the same to your loved one. But getting back in is a personal decision between you and Jehovah. I don't know what you beliefs are right now with JW or personal issues... but right now you are trying to cope with a painful situation of your loved one facing the end of life on this earth. If you could glimpse in to JW beliefs for a sec. at let remember that, he will be ok and only sleeping and will be resurrected.

    Are you close to family or someone you can talk too...

    I personally had to get a counselor to cope with my loss (being DF felt like I lost my family). I constantly think of my grandpa who was an elder and passed away, I wonder if I will get to see him again in the new system. It's hard. The advice I have gotten that did help a bet from a friend at work was how he dealt with his loss... he said he takes family and love ones in his life as memorable and we may not know what the future holds for us but God will make things right and he knows all the answers... he is God of Justices but also a loving and caring God. So the guy says if you believe you will see your grandfather again you will, you’re a good person.

    So I say this to you, it will be ok and God knows we are imperfect, if the organization is lead by imperfect men, we (DF or not) too will get a chance. We don't have to be in the organization or not, we just got to do what we can and remember the good in life. I personally believe in the righteous and the unrighteous will be resurrected.

    I do hope you can think of good positive things and hold tight because there are caring people who want to encourage and help.

    If I could give you a hug I would!

  • purplesofa

    My JW Mom was in town this past weekend and it brought up all sorts of stuff for me.

    I, too, shut down. All weekend, even though I did not see her, she was with my daughter, I felt catatonic.

    Cried allot and for sure knew the presence of the JW religion in my family is hurtful and painful.

    The presence is so strong that we cannot even function our normal family affairs.

    I felt perceived so totally different than what I really am. I was angry with myself for

    not being able to got on top of the situation.

    I did not breath easy until she was out of town.



    You did pretty dam good,considering the stress you were under..

    I want you to be proud of youself,for how you held up..


  • Mary

    Hon, I know how you feel...........Life can just really pile everything on us at once. No wonder people crack under pressure.

  • Rabbit


    Our quiet, empathetic thoughts are with you. You'd think at this very sobering 'fork in the road' in your parent's life...they would/could see what a terrible waste of time and love...it has been following the WT corporations by-laws. I truly hope this shakes their faith.

    I have to deal with shunning issues from my own children and other JW's, too. It's a one-day-at-a-time endeavor, my friend. Some days are just a lot worse. Recently, I was rushed to a hospital emergency room, very sick. My sweet wife called around to inform relatives, including one of my kids -- there was no return calls from any witnesses.

    It's just so damn sad. And, I feel so sorry for you, me and all of us who've been touched by this inhumanity the JW's accept as love. Sickness and death tho'...sometimes has the power to pry open the skulls of the toughest nuts. The fact that they did call and allow their son's presence...maybe...is a hopeful sign.

    I tend to shut down, too. Ms. Rabbit won't let me do that too much. Rely on people who are reliable...and I hope you and your family the best.

  • BluesBrother

    My thoughts and good wishes are with you Elsewhere......I have lost both parents and I know how hard it is.


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