I am so sorry that such sorrow is hovering over your home!
I wish yall could come to a compromise, sometimes you have to give a little to get things back on track!
Tell her you love her and pull out scriptures (and WTS pubs if needed) about UBMs and the value of a loving marriage, benefits of a two parent home and the value of both mother and father. Pull out the ones about being a submissive wife and ask her to mediate on the matter. Remind her you are not asking her to leave her religion but only to be patient, mild, meek and a good wife. I hate to suggest it but perhaps use it as 'bait'.......... one of those I saved my hubby and he came back to the Borg things. She is an addict and cold-turkey isn't the only way to wean. Small steps and probably over years.
You have got to get control of your emotions and stop hating and let God's love be the only thing that guides you. Put the WTS into his hands and let him handle things. In the meantime you are going to have to resume your 'headship' if not things are going to get worse. Do you openly pray? Do you pray at your family meals? Are you taking the children to your church EOW? (Because if things get worse you will want an established routine you can hold up in court to show you are a devoted Papa) Have you invited your wife to church and continue to invite her despite her protests. Do you speak to your children about Bible things regularly each day before they retire? Do you arrange for family outings. ...... you just gotta just start taking a lead. .........
Do not ever let someone tell you you are not welcomed in your own home! Do not let anyone shun you in your own home, that level of disrespect is unacceptable and they can leave until they properly apologize. Do however be socialable and invite your wife's gang over for a BBQ along with some of your church buddies ...... do have a date night with both sets of friends. Force normalcy on them!
I assume sex isn't happening either. Sex shouldn't be used as a band-aid but at the same time it is pretty central to a healthy marriage.
Why not get the grandparents to watch the little ones and yall sit down and 'negotiate' the navigation of yall's lives for the next 6 months. Bring up compromise, sex, and biblical marriage stuff. Take things head on but don't let her get away with namby-pamby hem hawing that JWs typically do and challenge her to actually live by the scriptures (and WT pubs) she so believes in ......... because it will make her happier, God wants her to obey his instructions in the Bible. If she still protests hold up the NWT and a pub and ask which has final authority?
Keep on your personal path of devotion...... God doesn't want you to lose your family but he also doesn't want her WTS ways controling it either!
Show her strength, self-control, love and desire for a healthy non-argumentive marriage.....tell you remember the way she use to be toward you and you miss her very much. Compliment and flirt with her...... just sit smiling at her sometimes with eyes of loving adoration.
She is in a cult. Getting mad, depressed and losing control only reinforces her cult training that your condition is due to your being away from the WTS.
You must show the fruitage of Christ in your life. Read your gospels and apply his wise and patient counsel!
Praying for you and yours (take them kiddies to church!)