Sending Out a Letter to My JW Daughter - Give Me Your Thoughts Please

by flipper 82 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    Some of you probably read my JW daughter's letter to Mrs. Flipper and me a few weeks ago where she tried explaining to Mrs. Flipper why she doesn't have anything to do with me ( says I talk negative towards the organization ) . In that letter though she showed some flashes of her authentic, kind personality and told us she loves us. But much of the letter was proselytizing to us about how bad the system is and how Jeovah will bring a paradise, etc. etc.

    So I went back to reading Steve Hassan's " Releasing the Bonds " and found an example in there on page 215 of a sample letter to a fictitious son who is a cult member . So I used the choice of words and similar language and thought process to write a letter to my daughter. So here is the letter :

    Dear Flipper's daughter,

    I've been thinking about you almost all the time since we read your letters to mrs. Flipper and me. They were very loving, well written letters by you and I realize how much you love me. You are a fine young lady and I'm proud of you as my daughter and I love you so much. The greatest gift I was ever given was when you, your brother , and your sister were born.

    One of these days I hope we can spend some quality time together - soon. Perhaps we could go on a hike in the mountains, just the two of us. Wouldn't that be great ? I remember the times when we went up to the mountains when you were younger. Which memories stand out for you ? I'll never forget that trip to Round lake back in 2003 and we got all wet hiking through a boggy meadow up to our stomachs as we sank ! Really funny ! Or your seeing a " gray squirrel " when we worked that time ! Your brother and I still affectionately joke about that !

    I wish I had spent more time with you as you were growing up. I guess I was too busy trying to be a " good provider " . Often when I'd get home from work, I was so tired I'd sit and watch T.V. I wish I could go back and do things differently. I wish I had spent even more quality time with you. Was I a bad father ? But one of the things you'll learn as you grow and mature is how to make wise decisions - ones that you will feel good about ten, even twenty years from now. What do you see when you imagine yourself in ten years ? Twenty years ?

    I'm glad you enjoyed our gifts to you and your husband, we love you both dearly. I'm sending along some recent pictures of your brother and my backpacking trip and some older family pictures that I thought you would enjoy having- to keep for yourself. Your granpa and grandma send their love and asked how you were doing and hope to see you soon. Also your brother and Mrs. Flipper send you their love and Mrs. Flipper will send a letter to you a little later. I hope to speak with you soon. O.K. ?

    Love, your Dad ( I love you )

    So, this is how Steve Hassan recommends it to be done. I feel good about it. I tried not supplying my daughter anything that would set off her " triggers " to respond to me in her " cult " personality. Just kept it authentic and kind so perhaps she will respond in like manner . So, as always I look forward to your feedback ! Let me know what you think ! Thanks. Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

  • megs

    I think it's lovely Mr. Flipper... genuine, no hint of preachiness, just love!

  • OnTheWayOut

    Well, I think Steve Hassan might be smarter than I remember. I would have (without consulting Hassan) commented on things she said.
    But that would automatically trigger the JW defenses. Attacking the tower works on some people, and we learn right away who those people are. Your daughter here, my wife, many others- it just isn't the way. So show your unconditional love and trigger those memories and thoughts of the future. Even if she tries to say she sees herself in Paradise 10-20 years from now, she will know that it might not happen so she will process that thought.

    Regardless of the response, you should get something of a response and that is good. Even if she chose not to respond, she would have a pleasant memory from the past and a pleasant thought about Dad.

    Good job.

  • jamiebowers

    Very nice, but:

    Do you think the question, "What do you see when you imagine yourself in ten years ? Twenty years ?" will give her an opening to preach about the "new system"?

  • JimmyPage

    I like this letter, Flipper. If you keep chipping away at the problem in the way Hassan advises, good things are bound to happen eventually. We can't give up!

  • BabaYaga

    Beautiful, Flip. My ardent thoughts are with you for the best.


  • cognac

    That's a really sweet letter...

  • hubert

    Mail it out, Flip, it's perfect.


  • StAnn

    I wish I would get a letter like that from my dad. Hell, I'd be happy to get a letter like that from anyone!

    Good job, Mr. Flipper.

    St. Ann


    Flipp..Bud you nailed it.....Case closed...................................OUTLAW

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