New Guidelines for this Forum - Please take notes (page 3)

aSphereisnotaCircle

paradisiac
art,

My new favorite term!

(Pharisaic dart, parasitic fart)

Albert Einstein

As one faithful longterm poster in Columbia have said: Being at such marvelous site, you definetly have no need to lurk at some other sites.

Q: What did one faithful longterm poster in Columbia have said?

We have to admitt, that throught the years it often happens, that some unexperienced and weak posters do lurk around to visit other sites on the internet. In several cases such unexperienced posters later do suffer from such unwise actions severe problems. Martin (some names in this article have been changed) admits: "I wanted just to lurk around the internet, I had some doubts if this site is really the best, and now I feel guilty towards the Simon the allmighty and also towards faithfull and discreet administrators of JWN site. I hope, if I will be faithfully posting back on JWN only, as it is the only true JW forum, at leats 10 posts a day, Simon the allmighty will forgive and will not delete my avatar."

Q: What did happen to one unwise poster named Martin (some names in this article have been changed)?

However, it is sad, that some posters after lurking in the internet had been dragged away from this beatiful site to the wide internet and are not posting with us anymore. By not posting anymore with their former fellow posters, they clearly show, where their heart is. Some of them, being puffed up with pride, could even try to post a message to you. But would that it be wise of you to stay in touch with such proud former posters? Only by ignoring their messages, we can show true love and care to our former fellow posters. Our hearts are rejoicing to see many of the former posters, who due to different reasons, stoped posting with us, to come back to the only true JW forum on the internet!

Q: How can we help to some former posters, who, due to different reasons, stoped posting with us?

Now we need blondies comments on this article ...

Albert

AllTimeJeff

To All Bodies of Elder(ettes)

Date: Doesn't matter, it will change anyway......

Re: New Forum Guidelines and Your Eternal Life

Dear Brothers

Recently, a letter was sent out to newer ones in this forum which gave encouragement as they post on JWN for the first time. This letter is for you who are taking the lead to make sure that they are obedient and thus help them to grow (horns).

In paragraph 2 of our letter, new ones who had less then 2 years on JWN were encouraged to imitate furniture and thus show humility. How can you help an erring one who actually engages their brain and expresses an opinion. This would be done through encouraging shepherding calls. Feel free to take this letter, roll it up around an iron rod, and bitch smack anyone who tries. Remember, it is best if two elder(ettes) are there, as it is typical for one to hold the erring new one down while the other handles "the word of gawd".

In paragraph 3 of the letter, we would like to clarify that this one sentence paragraph is indeed a paragraph that should be counted. Please refrain from long elder(ette) meetings debating this point.

Paragraph 5 mentioned one provision whereby 2 older members can "chat" with an erring new one. How can elder(ettes) best help at these meetings?

As noted in paragraph 2 of this letter, the idea is to beat the hell out of erring ones, thus destroying their spirit. Experience has proven that it is best if elder(ettes) practice on their immediate family at home. Taking this or any letter and wrapping it around an iron rod for use on your family can help you to keep your family in line, and spiritually healthy. It will also help you to develop the forearm muscles needed on these "chats" or shepherding calls.

We have received several letters asking us what demonstrates "remorse"? We have found that demanding they say "uncle" is the best way to do this. Of course, we would caution you against having a "shepherding chat" that would cause "unconsciousness", as this would prevent them from yelling "uncle" or otherwise, kissing your ass, and ours at the branch.

Other questions have come to the branch asking about which numbers are issued and how this is chosen. Naturally, those at the branch (and esp the GB) have the best numbers, they are all #1. After that, it doesn't really matter. We would like to take this opportunity to remind elde(ettes) not to run ahead of the branch and assign numbers as names without first consulting the CO. If there is a particularly difficult publisher who insists on a particular number, please write a brief letter explaining the situation, along with your observations and recommendations. Please do not forget to include a fair amount of ass kissing comments expressing your appreciation for us at the branch.

Lastly, we would like to remind all elder(ettes) that they are to visit all the publishers of JWN within 2 days of receipt of this letter. Failure to do so could result in your qualifications being reviewed at the time of the next CO visit.

Please accept from us an expression of our warm, gassy love.

Regards

THE BRANCH of the JWN Elite

ziddina

AAAAAAAAaaaaaauuugggh! 'Theocratic' language! Recognized it in the middle of the first paragraph!! BAD BonaFide! BAD BOY/GIRL!!

You SCARED me with that stuff!!! [Good spoof, though! ]

Zid

ziddina

"Other questions have come to the branch asking about which numbers are issued and how this is chosen. Naturally, those at the branch (and esp the GB) have the best numbers, they are all #1. After that, it doesn't really matter. We would like to take this opportunity to remind elde(ettes) not to run ahead of the branch and assign numbers as names without first consulting the CO. If there is a particularly difficult publisher who insists on a particular number, please write a brief letter explaining the situation, along with your observations and recommendations...."

Hey, AllTimeJeff, is the number "666" still available?? Dibs! if it is... Zid

junk mail

loosie

If I wanted to be in a "forum" with those so called guidelines I would go back to the borg.

AllTimeJeff

Just for the record, I took this thread to be a spoof, and contributed in that spirit. Suffice to say, it's good for all of us to have a place to "hang out"....

JeffT

HA! You young'uns should have been around in the old days! I became an apostate before there was an internet with all these newfangled board things! I had to do all my research at the library! I had to walk there! Through the snow! It was uphill both ways! We met together in a room and actually talked to each other! Did I tell you I met Richard Rawe there! We were real Apsotates in those days! None of this namby pamby hide behind a screen name stuff! When we introduced ourselves we used our real names! And we did real research! We had to look things up in books! Now all you little snots complain when a page loads slow! Why I tell you there was real apostate work going on those days! Let me tell you about the time...

/Thank you brother old fart <motions to kid with microphone to move to another part of the hall>/

AllTimeJeff

Hey, AllTimeJeff, is the number "666" still available?? Dibs! if it is... Zid

Sister Zid, we'd like for you to come into the library to talk about your number. While there is no doubt you have earned the number, it appears that Ted Jaracz's wife has claimed it for her own...

jamiebowers

Why are the vast majority of "apostates" smarter than the average bear?

New Guidelines for this Forum - Please take notes

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