Silliest thing that Witnesses told you was wrong?

by gilwarrior 86 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Xander

  I guess I can add a few.

  Most of my experiences have been along the lines listed here (IE., no Scooby-Doo, smurfs have a special 'become possessed' stage of manufacturing or something, modern music evil, etc.)

  Couple other fun tips:

  1) When shopping for antique furniture, avoid high-boys. They are a favorite for demons to possess.

  2) Don't try meditation or any kind of mind relaxing techniques. When you're conscious mind 'drifts off' like those techniques suggest, you are actually causing a part of your brain to become empty, and a demon will be sure to inhabit that spot! (News from the platform, no less! - there were even a few articles about it, IIRC)

  3) ALL SCI-FI IS EVIL!!! The Genesis account details EVERY LAST THING god made, and aliens are NOT listed - hence, they don't exist. Watching programs that show otherwise is promoting evolution, and thus something no JW in good standing should be allowed to do (the CO whose pet peeve this was actually suggested that because it was such a glossy refined package, it was almost certainly the direct handiwork of 'Satan' to lure 'Christians' away!).

  Xander F
  (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Ohio order)

  A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
  --George Santayana
• 

  RR

  I remember one time years ago, convincing my JW sister-in-law that Devil's Ham was a no-no according to the Society. She said " you're kidding" I said "no, you didn't read that Article?" heh heh, she threw the can away!
• 

  ConnieLynn

  I was told by an elder's wife that if you go to a garage sale, walk through and make sure there are no Ouija boards or satanic literature (or smurfs) before you buy anything! She had heard about this sister who almost died when her bedspread (purchased at a garage sale) tried to choke her while she slept. Demons!
• 

  plmkrzy

  Silliest thing that Witnesses told you was wrong?

  There are no such thing as dinosaurs

  http://ourworld.cs.com/pwmkwzy/PicturePage.html
• 

  seedy3

  The woman who sang that was Terri Gibb(s)- can't remember gibb or gibbs?

  He he he he, I have enough trouble remebering my own name at times LOL.

  But yeah that was she, this elder always used to drive me nuts with his haughty attitude, he felt he was always right, even when you showed him he was wrong. Hmmm is that indipendent thinking on his part, lets get a JC going and find out. LOL

  Seedy
• 

  thewiz

  The thing about 1975 that I posted wasn't exactly an apostacy but the excuse was, "look out you could be bordering on apostacy.

  It seemed nearly so anyway. And if you preached it from the roof tops that 1975 wasn't going to bring the end. Then you would have demonstrated your total opposition to the borg in this regard and I imagine in THAT case you could have been DF'ed for apostacy.

  That is, they would have DF'ed you for absolutely nothing at all really.

  on Smurfs again, my little Story... which also ties in John Denver, of which I went to 4 of his concerts and he NEVER did that thing about making JDUBS stand up and where he begins to sing the National Anthem and then says, "Now get out!!!"

  ---------------- copied from thread
  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=26563&page=2&site=3

  I told this one up in Alaska to brothers who were listening to gossip.
  I brought up John Denver and they jumped on the Gossip about John Denver hates JDubs.

  Ahem...

  There was a woman walking down the street when two hardened Smurfs jumped out dragged her into the alley and had their way with her.

  A couple of weeks later another woman was walking by the same alley and the Smurfs jumped out and grabbed her and dragged back into the same alley.

  Well she fought with them and said, "I can't let you do that to me under any circumstances I will fight to the death if I have to. I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses and will not allow you to have your way with me." She then proceeded to give them a more thorough witness.
  Well they were impressed by her witness so much they let her go.

  By now the brothers were literally at the edge of thier seats salivating over the Smurf story (I believe this was about the time of the height of Smurf stories).

  And you know because of that witness both of those Smurfs are in the truth today. Just to teach them for listening to gossip.
• 

  SumnerSloan

  Am I the only one that gave up M&M's - for YEARS! - because they "contained blood"!?

  How about Star Wars - and the "force"? Or Fantasia (with that evil little Sorceror - Mickey somebody ...)?

  And while we're on THAT subject - I have known Witnesses who have never experienced the joy of seeing the inside of Disney's "Haunted Mansion."

  Eating turkey if it happened to be on that "certain Thursday in November" which the world refers to as "Thanksgiving."

  By the way, what's the difference between a "party" and a "get-together"?

  How about spending my own money to purchase my magazines for field service, only to be told that when I receive reimbursement from the householder, THAT money should go to the Society via the contribution box.

  And a resounding "DITTO" to the previously mentioned "Bless you" to a sneeze, and the innocent little good will "toast."

  Or that a woman shouldn't be working full-time when she COULD be pioneering instead.

  Not to "butt into someone else's business" when I hear a child being abused in the KH restroom!

  And especially -- That I shouldn't pray for someone who is disfellowshipped - even if it happens to be my own mate, or one of my children!??

  ... to name a few.
• 

  Kristen

  ...that you are in fact *associating* with the characters on TV during the time you watch the shows they are in! ...or the songs they sing... or the movies they act in... or, or... (1 Cor 15:33)

  ...that you should pray silently so satan and the deeminz couldn't possibly learn of/know your weaknesses.

  but, but, what about if they eavesdrop on my conversations or watch my body language closely? You know they've been studying humankind for thousands of years!
• 

  Flip

  lec·i·thin n.

  Any of a group of phospholipids found in egg yolks and the plasma membrane of plant and animal cells, used as an emulsifier in a wide range of commercial products, including foods, cosmetics, paints, and plastics. Also called phosphatidylcholine.

  During the 70's there was a scare in our congregation where a few Jehovah's Witnesses warned against eating manufactured foods that included the above common ingredient. Lecithin was understood to have been made from blood, hence the plasma reference.

  Flip
• 

  Liberty

  I too heard the stupid JW line about John Denver playing the National Anthem at his concerts and then publicly embarrassing JWs and forcing them to leave when they wouldn't salute the flag. I was a huge John Denver fan and this really disturbed me. Years later I finally got to go to one of his last concerts, the Wildlife Tour, before he died. I'm so glad I got to go since there will be no more. In any case, he NEVER played the National Anthem, had no flag salute, nor made anybody leave.

  This is obviously just gossip encouraged by the Society since so many JWs were attracted to JD's nature themed music and down home approach. They couldn't stand to have you give attention to anyone but themselves. Common sense made me suspect that this story was bogus anyway, considering the anti-war/US government sentiments of the early 1970's, a saavy entertainer like JD would not have risked angering the eco-friendly/hippie fan base with such patriotic excess. Especially so since he started as a folk singer in the 1960's where making people salute the flag would have been very uncool in the circles he ran in. This is just one more of many idiotic JW myths.