Big Love - temple scene and Barb's excommunication (page 5)

undercover

Wow, its truely amazing how traumatized you are from being a ex Jw. It shows in your exagerated words and insults against them. I know for a fact that the comitees r not held in that matter...

...this movie is not showing the truth about how JW conduct there meetings and procedures. If you wanna find out the true-th just go to one of there meetings you will find out otherwise.

First off, the show is about Mormons and fundie Mormons, not JWs. But as already noted, there are similiarities. While a JW Judicial Committee meeting may not be handled exactly as shown in the show, it's close enough for those of us who have gone through that experience to feel the pain all over again. Just because your cult indoctrinated mind can't accept the similarities, your insensitve and non-humble remarks does not invalidate the feelings, pain and angst we felt.

I spent 35+ years subjecting myself to JW meetings and indoctrination. It wasn't until I looked outside the Society's dogma did I see the truth about the "truth", so don't preach to me how to find out the truth about JWs by going to their meetings. Just don't do it. If you wanna be a JW, fine, you go be one and humble yourself to your fucking god. Don't fucking come here preaching humility and insult my intelligience.

alamb

I see alot of similarities and was shocked at the scene of her excommunication hearing as it resembled so closely my own witch hunt and trial. The Mormons, however, don't shun excommuncated ones. They are treated as someone who needs EXTRA help thereafter to return. Barb's upset was due to her not being able to return to be in the heavenly kingdom with her mom and sister, not so much what we go through with the shunning (living death) here on earth.

Sorry, grew up in Utah.

Doubting Bro

alamb - Thanks for the clarification on shunning. It seemed like Barb was really focused on being cast into darkness more than she was being separated from family.

undercover

alamb, I saw it this way:

Notice the guilt layed on Barb when her mom told her that she couldn't bear not having her in their future celestial kingdom or whatever they call it. Compare that to a DFd JW who, until he repents and gets reinstated is as if dead to everyone in the "truth". Even their family has to cut them off.

In some ways, the JW sentance is worse than the Mormon one. The Mormon sentance is everlasting as is the JW one, but doesn't start until they occupy their reward. The JW sentance starts immediately and is forever if the offending party doesn't return.

There are differenences but the underlying theme is guilt. Guilt and fear. Same cult tactics, different twists.

alamb

Doubting and Undercover,

You are so dead on. Our sentence is immediate. We are dead....Barb is in fear of what she believes is to come. We are split physically, spiritually, etc. from our family here and now. I don't see alot of trying to get us back either. When confronted by my family, I ask them why, if I'm doomed to die any day now, don't they ask me why I left or try to save me??? I am dead now.

Spiritual rape. Emotional murder.

alamb

Oh, funny thing I just remembered. At my hearing I took my letters of appeal with me and immediately handed them to the "brothers." They were shocked that I had predicted their holy spirit driven decision being the sinner I was. I was told I could bring no one with me to my appeal hearing nor could I take notes.

At the appeal meeting I brought several tapes in my own defense and a tape player to play them on. They forgot to ask me at this meeting if I had any recording devices to I didn't bring it up either. Near the end I asked if I could play tapes to prove my case and the look on their faces was priceless. They went varying shades of gray and blue and green. "You brought a recording device?" I said yes and they sat stumped looking at eachother. Their tone immediately changed.

They asked me to leave the room while they "talked". While sitting and waiting for my judgement in the auditorium it occured to me how sick the whole situation was. They were men......nothing else. And they were deciding my relationship with God??? I got up and knocked on the door and went in. I shook their hands and told them they didn't have holy spirit. I told them I was disfellowshipping them for unchristian conduct and feigning being followers of Christ. They didn't even pray at my hearings.

I heard they announced that I had DA'd myself at the next Thursday night meeting. hmmm

FormerMormon

Doubing bro,

There isn't any formal "shunning" that is ordered for errant Mormons. It's an informal, assumed and indirectly obeyed shunning. It just happens. We are technically still on the books for a few more months (we will be resigning). Having publicly expressed doubts, our family communications have shriveled to next to nothing. Church leadership does actively prohibit members from speaking with former or disgruntled members. It is question #7 in the temple recommend interview. They don't tell you to shun doubters, but if you want that recommend, and if you believe the scary things they tell you about doubters, you will shun them.

I need to correct something I said earlier, maybe in another thread. In my family, it would be inconcievable that anyone would help you sneek into the temple. That's true for my family. MANY other exmo's are reporting instances where family members did bend the rules and sneek people in.

I stand corrected.

FormerMormon

Alamb,

There is a difference in treatment, depending on why someone has been exed or disfellowshipped. If someone is exed or disfellowshipped for sin, then yes, church members will turn on the judgement, leverage, guilt and shame to get you back in line again. If someone is SUSPECTED of harboring doubts in belief, or leaves for disbelief, they are shunned.

I hope that clarifies things.

restrangled

I found the "meeting" at Barb's home...caught unaware in her bathrobe, and the official meeting very similar to what goes on behind the scenes with JW's. My big meeting contained 5 men sitting behind a similar table. The only difference was I was 16 and not an adult. Also there were no supportive family members witnessing the event, and it didn't even occur to me that I could challenge questions that crossed the line...there were many.

The reaction, from Barbs mother sounded so dead on. It also shows the power of generations of family members indoctrinated and the influence it has over individuals.

r.

Big Tex

I know for a fact that the comitees r not held in that matter, and even if you desagree with there ways, its not honest to respond the way you have, cause its not true

Ah yes, poor spelling, punctuation and grammar. A sure sign of a real Witness.

You are also a liar.

Chris

Big Love - temple scene and Barb's excommunication

Share this