I want to leave but don't know how (page 2)

Meeting Junkie No More

Welcome Delusion:
(I had a chat with a Free Mason yesterday actually. Nice chap. He's a 33rd Mason, and told me outright that the WBTS is managed by Free Masons),
Not sure how to do the quote thingie but the above is INTRIGUING - please do tell more...

Homerovah the Almighty

Jws are one of many religious faiths that pose difficult circumstances to people who eventually for one reason or another

stop believing and simply just do not want to not be involved with it, particular so if you have the majority of your immediate family

involved. You've made a good first step by coming here and expressing your situation to this forum because there many folks that

have gone or going through the exact situation that your going through.

It does become quite a conundrum of emotions when you have close friendships and family that you have but most of the connecting

relationships are there because of a religious belief that you no longer believe in.

I guess the best advise I could give briefly is become an pacifist unbeliever , be patient and accepting of other peoples complacent fears,

there is a lot of mental indoctrination going on at the KD halls that for some some isn't easy just to shrug off.

Welcome to JWN.........HTA

OUTLAW

There is a door on every Kingdom Hall..Walk out and don`t go back..

Laughing Mutley ..OUTLAW

MissingLink

If you're afraid of their gossip, why not beat them to the punch and send a letter to everyone who knows you, explaining your reasons for leaving?

african GB Member

Welcome aboard God_Delusion

african GB member

Secondly, I think you have to be honest with your wife, or what is your marriage worth? That being said, it is possible that going slowly will be better than dumping it on her all at once. How about just starting with, "this is really bothering me..." Maybe she will admit that there are things that bother her too and you can have a conversation. Witnesses are trained to raise a mental wall if their beliefs are attacked. Perhaps coming at this obliquely will keep that wall from going up.

Cate

rebel8

Just smile when they ask, say you're discouraged, depressed, not ready to talk about it, thanks for their concern, you'll let them know when you're ready.

F A D E........

GoingGoingGone

Welcome to the forum, God-Delusion!

I was in a similar situation to you when I left the JWs. Raised in, baptized at 14, married to an elder, almost all our family is in, and were/are well known in the JW community.

When I started facing the doubts I'd had for decades, I started asking my husband questions. He took it well at first, but when I started questioning whether this could be the truth, he wouldn't talk about it anymore. We were both raised as JWs, and had never researched anything else, ever - so how could we know that this was the only true religion? He was infuriated, said he didn't know me anymore and that I wasn't the person he married. He forbade me to talk to the kids about my 'apostate ideas'. When I stopped going to meetings, it almost destroyed my marriage.

That was about 5 years ago, and things are much better now. We ignore the elephant in the room, but we respect each other's right to decide what to do with our lives. He chooses to be a JW - I choose not to. We have always cared about each other on a deeper level than our religion, and once we understood and accepted that, things went better for us.

Ideally, I'd tell you to talk to your wife about what you think and feel. But she might not be ready to hear it all. I told my husband that I had reasons for everything I believed, as well as what I no longer believed, and that I was willing to share it with him if he wanted me to (he never did.) But the offer was always there, and reinforced the fact that this wasn't something I just decided on a whim.

I decided to fade partly to avoid a JC and the additional stigma it would place on my kids and my husband. It's been the right choice for me. The gossip will fly no matter what, and there is nothing you can do about it except to assure your wife that you still love her, you aren't having an affair, aren't gay, aren't turning into a rabid apostate, and have simply changed your mind about your religious beliefs. To most people, that's not such a big deal. You are still the same person.

Hope this helps. Feel free to pm me if you want! Good luck on your journey!

GGG

minimus

You're going to have to deal with things sooner or later. Better to lay your cards on the table BEFORE you start a new family or else you will be very miserable!

steve2

God-Delusion, I am puzzled by the level of detail you provide about yourself and your background in this post. As you say, Cyprus is a small place, so there can't be too many JWs who fit your description (e.g.,parents serving in UK Bethel, 2 siblings who are also JWs, etc). Your problem might be inadvertently solved - news travels fast throughthe internet - unless of course, you have wisely changed a few identifiers about yourself. Tread carefully at this stage, won't you?

I want to leave but don't know how