I want to leave but don't know how

God_Delusion

Hi.

I have been a witness since birth (will be 30 years in June 2009). Got baptised when I was 15 (pressured into it by my parents, plus, I was promised my first home PC if I did get baptised before turning 16).

Both my parents serve in the UK Bethel. I have an older brother and younger sister, both of which are witnesses.

I am married to a witness and live in Cyprus (I am English). My wife's mother and brother are witnesses. Her brother is an elder. Her father is totally against the witnesses.

All my wife's uncles (from her mother's side) are elders.

I can't take this cult any longer. If I read or heard another thing about Jehovah killing people to satisfy his name, I swear I'll probably end up having a fit. Therefore, I haven't been to meetings nearing on 2 months now.

Does it matter to me directly if I get disfellowshipped? No, not really. I know that my parents will stop speaking to me, but I can live with that. I know that my siblings will continue to speak to me, and that's is what really counts. But it will kill my wife. You see, Cyprus is a tiny island with a population of around 750,000. There are around 2,000 publishers. The majority know my wife and it's a very close-knit community. Gossiping in Cyprus comes second-nature to almost everyone.

It won't be long before the "brothers/sisters" are coming up with things like;

"Oh. she's such a nice girl and he went and had an affair"

"He must be gay."

"He's the devil's son and has turning into the worst apostate!"

And so on and so forth.

The elders will prowl if I make my feelings known and then they will have a war on their hands. But you see, I don't want that for my wife. We don't have kids yet, but do plan to start a family soon. But I certainly do not want my children participating in anything cult-like, being Jehovah's Witnesses, Free Masonary (I had a chat with a Free Mason yesterday actually. Nice chap. He's a 33rd Mason, and told me outright that the WBTS is managed by Free Masons), Mormon, or other.

I keep getting messages from the elders telling me to look after the spirituality of my family. This really frustrates me. I thought I was going to be ask to go before a Judicial Committee today, but that never materialised.

I've not believed in a biblical god for about a year now, and after researching the matter more, I have found that all religion is just poppycock.

I would like to know of any stories from you who also are atheists. What did you say in your Judicial?

Also, if that idiot "Scholar" decides to posts, please just ignore him/her, no matter how stupid the comments are. I don't believe in encouraging buffoons.

And yes, it was me that wrote a few comments on Topix.

Regards
God Delusion

PS. If Moxie's is here, I would love to chat.

ninja

why worry what they say mate?....they're going to say it anyway....they have to make the excuse that you are in the wrong somehow....their precious organisation can never be tarnished...never be at fault......

however you will have a good support group on here to help you through your trials and hopefully your real friends will stick by you.......we've all been there....welcome to the board sir....da ninja.....

God_Delusion

Thanks Ninja,

I just had a chat with my on the phone. Her nan has arrived from her village so that she can go to the assembly tomorrow with her mum. The English congregation's one is next Sunday I think. My wife asked if I would go (I've been hiding behind the fact that I have a hernia in not going meetings) to the English assembly. I said no, and she got upset.

Ask my wife why JW's believe in 1914 though, and she'll be clueless. It's all a front. My wife fears what her mother and brother will say if she stops going, even though deep inside she believes nothing at all.

Btw ninja, I had some friends in Hamilton. They were (might still be) JW's. Their names are Jim Johnstone, his son James/Jimmy and his mate, Cameron.

You don't happen to know them do you? Jim's daughter died in a terrible car accident about 11 years ago. We were very close.

cameo-d

You are in good company now.

There are many others who think just like you do.

You are not alone.

dutchstef

Just be honest to your wife.

Tell her what is going on how you feel.... maybe she feels the same way, maybe not... but at least you can try to find a proper solution together and it might save your mariage

ninja

I just ran it past my wife about the girl.......her sister leeanne hughes was friendly with the girl that died in the crash.....I didn't know them.....

Wasanelder Once

God_Delusion, you have been around the "Truth" long enough to know the results of your expressing your new lack? of faith. If you speak about it you are an apostate. If you keep it inside and try to fade, you are spiritually weak. They may or may not hunt you down to give you the ulitmate loyalty test, the question: "Do you beleive this is God's Organization?" Your marriage might be jeopardized by any of these possibilities. You can keep going and pretend all is well and keep your marriage which is based more on religious fervor than on love for who you are, (if that's the case) and let your guts and free will rot inside you or be totally honest with yourelf and your wife and hope for the best. I'd hold off on the kids till you get this resolved in your mind, heart and marriage. Good luck chap. W.Once

Emma

I want to add that you've given enough personal information to be identfied by people who know you; it's happened before. If you've given your personal info correctly, maybe you can still go back and edit it out a bit.

Congratulations on having your eyes open. It's not always easy to get out, but is worth what you go through.

Nowman

It would be very difficult to be in your shoes for sure. But, you are not the only one. You have to live your life and you cannot live it in keeping quiet and not doing anything about it. Easier said than done, I know. This struggle that you have will continue until you decide to do something about it period.

This forum will help you, as it did me. There is much support here. It will be a very difficult to go through, but the rewards will be great, its about attitude. To be free of the cult mind set is something to look forward to.

Good luck, former JW for 18 years, out for 16 years. Please note that when I left, I just left cold, its was the only way to deal with my parents, I never stood up to them until I left.

Nikki

Quirky1

Welcome Delusion!! Thanks for your story!! Religion is a scam & a racket.

I hope you the best!!

I want to leave but don't know how

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