As Much as I hate to say this,I am glad for have being a J Dub

by SuperApostateGirl 42 Replies latest jw friends

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  DJ_Q

  SAG,

  your post was deep. When it was good it was good, but when it was bad, it was really bad. I have a lot of mixed feelings about my time with the JW's.

  I loved the camaraderie, and feeling of belonging. But then I hated the favoritism, and not belonging (DA'd, and such). Some of my best times growing up were with the Org, but then a lot of my confusion later in life, (sexuality, and trying to adjust to life after the Org) really made for some bad decisions, and feelings.

  So I guess you could say I am probably neutral on whether or not I was glad I was a J Dub.

  DJ_Q
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  blondie

  Of course this is assuming that these "good" things could not have been learned outside the abusive WTS.
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  yourmomma

  yeah, there was alot of good for me. it got me off drugs, got me out of my various illegal activities that would have lead me right to prison. the bad was bad, but the good was good. however i will say the good was in a certain congregation and it might have been based on the fact that i was lucky enough to be in a cool one at the time.
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  james_woods

  I think that Blondie has it right -

  Of course this is assuming that these "good" things could not have been learned outside the abusive WTS.

  We all learned to survive - one way or another. I look at my stepkids now - the girl is an attorney and is on the path to be a judge someday, the boy is a successful salesman for the Dallas Cowboys, both did very well in college, and have lived a solid productive life. The Witnesses like to pretend that anybody not part of their cult is bound to fall into crime, drugs, the AIDS virus, or something else perfectly horrible. This is not true. What people make of their life is pretty much about very simple and profound choices they make for themselves - some make bad choices, some make good choices. I honestly do not think that any of the so-called "good influences" that come from being a "good JW" is anywhere near worth the brainwashing, the general shame of living in this cult, or the psychological damage that this group has brought on it's members. The Jehovah's Witnesses worship a "god" that likes to kill people. There is no getting around that fundamental fact - there is no amount of so-called clean living that can ever cover up for such a horror.
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  truthseeker

  I wish I was never a Jehovah's Witness. It was nothing to be proud of. I was bullied terribly in school and I had no friends my own age in the congregation all the way through my teens and early 20s.

  I absolutely hated it and hated the person I became.

  Besides that there were all manner of vicious rumors about me going through the congregation.

  About the only thing I can say is I stayed away from drink and drugs - but maybe I would have done that anyway. I probably wouldn't have had Armaggedon so much on my mind or the Great Tribulation.

  Having said that, being a JW is such a big part of anyone's identity while growing up in it it's hard to imagine I could have experienced life any differently.
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  DJ_Q

  Truthseeker, you know the part of being bullied, I had to go through that soo much in high school. I could always take of myself and I wasnt scared to stand up or fight, but you just cant fight everyone that makes fun of you.

  I was lucky to at least have people my own age, and for a while we did have a cool congregation but then some asshole elders took over.

  DJ_Q
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  White Dove

  Bullying is not simply making fun of someone.

  If you go home with bruises because of being attacked at school, that is assault and that is bullying.

  Making fun of someone over years and years while a child can have devastating psychological effects on the person.

  Never take taunting from a group over a long period of time lightly.

  That is what contributes to school shootings.

  Take it all seriously and help the kid to process it and fight it appropriately.
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  Eyes Wide Open

  I would say I am not glad for having been raised as a J Dub. Growing up I had a slightly skewed viewpoint because my paternal grandfather had been disfellowshipped before I was born (for smoking - such a sin!). So, I was constantly faced with a two-sided point of view - one, telling me that those not in the Org. were bad and must be avoided, and the other was my relationship with my Grandpa. Perhaps the only advantage of being a JDub was an early appreciation for hypocrisy, cliques, and what mind-control can make people do. It has made me appreciate people who actually know what the meaning of love is. Eh, maybe I'm actually on the fence...there is bad with the good, good with the bad...sorry to ramble.
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  jaguarbass

  An attitude of grattitude is a good thing. It helps keep us sane and happy.

  We cant spend our lives crying over spilt milk.

  When someone gives us lemons. We make lemonade.

  Personally, I dont know how I would have turned out if I wasnt a JW.

  But I was born and raised in a middle class area. Most of my needs were met. So it is not likely I would have turned to crime at least not blue collar crime.

  I doubt I would have joined the military JW or not. I was military age in 72, Viet nam was going on. It was not popular. Maybe 2 people from my high school class went into the millitary.

  I'm pretty sure if I wasnt a witness I would have gone to college. And theres a good chance I would have had a greater earning level and been retired by now.
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  independent_tre

  I wouldn't say I was glad, but I have no regrets. It got me where I am today, and I'm doing quite well. But that being said, I want no more part of it.

  Ditto - I never spiritually matured enough in the org to enjoy my 'stay' and I definitely don't want me or my kids having any part of it.