Should I go to the elders about the affair?

by weeone 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident
    It takes balls to sit next to the man you are sleeping with and his wife! I mean by god does she have no morals?

    I forgot about the part of her sitting next to his wife at the hall. That is pretty brazen and lacking in compassion for the wife.

    And if it makes you feel any better, he is a man whore.

    Actually, that does make me feel better...thanks Lola!

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    No. Let them waste their time trying to put the pieces together. If they have to waste time getting the evidence together, that is time they don't have to tend to other matters (like getting that next Big Waste of Paper Distribution Campaign ready).

  • StAnn
    StAnn

    Do you really think his wife doesn't know? Hasn't she been through enough?

    Please show a little compassion for the man's wife. If they're still married, she has probably already worked hard at trying to forgive him and rebuild their lives. Do you need to try to tear her down again? Don't you think her life is hard enough? She's a fellow human being. Treat her now with the dignity and respect you lacked when you were sleeping with her husband.

    StAnn

  • anewme
    anewme

    Ditto what Oompa said!

  • sweetstuff
    sweetstuff

    Alot of good advice from the posters here. Your story does not add up to me at all, you were having an affair with him, yet sharing a basement suite with him, then he would be with his wife. I smell something that stinks alright. This story, its as discombobulated as it gets.

    If you were having an affair with the guy, no sympathy from me regarding how you have been treated. I've been the wife who's been cheated on..it sucks! However, its also true that he was the married one and is the true SKANK. Still to go and sit by his wife and get a kick out of it is very immature and selfish. What about this child? I am assuming you don't have children of your own, life has a funny way you know. What goes around comes around and someday you may know how this wife felt.

    That being said...you dont' want to be a witness, so why go to the elders? To punish him? To destroy this child's family? To payback his wife for her comments? To payback the people who now ignore you?

    It's pointless, because all the looks and comments, you have brought upon yourself by your actions. Period.

    If it is revenge you seek, stop being so selfish and think of this innocent kid. It will be the first step towards maturity you take. Good luck.

  • Hellrider
    Hellrider

    Going to the elders to rat on someone elses immorality is bad enough. By doing so, one puts oneself in a position of "moral authority". That`s all fine if the immoral person is a hypocrite, that speaks about chastity, but does all the sleezy things everyone else does in secret, but: you slept with two different married men. In my opinion, you don`t have the right to exalt yourself to the position of a moral authority (which is where you, morally, should be, if you intend to rat on someone else). Worry about your own problems, leave others alone.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    yes, clearly the husband is scum. Major scum, in fact. But to me she seems to be bragging - and she wants to stir the pot. She needs to go to a counselor and learn something about responsibility. It might be different if she didn't know he was married, and dropped him asap when she found out. She had the gall to sit next to him and his wife and smirk about her dirty little secret. I'm all for sexual freedom, have played that game myself. BUT, I have a few rules!!!

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    maybe this won't sound as nice as the other replies, but I would most assuredly go straight to his wife and rat him out to the elders. Yes , i said

    RAT HIM OUT. yes mess up his life. why should he be immune from his actions? He's messed up yours, you are now a skank by most of the boards standards.

    bet you are much younger than him, and he has kids too. Jerk.

    so you have my permission to Rat Him Out.

    and also start therapy and see why you want to get involved with a married man with a child. we all know it happens but it is not acceptable in most cultures.

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    The 10 Commandments - God's Revelation in the Old Testament
    The 10 Commandments are found in the Bible's Old Testament at Exodus, Chapter 20. They were given directly by God to the people of Israel at Mount Sinai after He had delivered them from slavery in Egypt:

    "And God spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God

    ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.'

    TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'

    THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.'

    FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.'

    FIVE: 'Honor your father and your mother.'

    SIX: 'You shall not murder.'

    SEVEN: 'You shall not commit adultery.'

    EIGHT: 'You shall not steal.'

    NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.'

    TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.'

    The 10 Commandments - Christ's Summation

    well we know for sure you have broken number 7, and somehow I feel like you may have done it for the same reason a teenager wants to smoke pot -just to say you did it and wow look God has not struck me dead. I hope you got that out of your system. He betrayed his wife terribly. B/c that is what adultery is- betrayal.

    I'd be careful if you decide to break number 6- you can do time for that.

  • wordly_goat
    wordly_goat

    Ok I just found this site from a friend who has been angry for a while on her wasted time with the JW's. She showed me this site and your post as my first look. I too was raised as a JW and what a wast of time it was.

    I have to say I was shocked at your post and happy at the same time. I have been away from the JW's for about 8 years and am a single parent of a now 17 year old son. I live in Vancouver BC. Your affair is nobodys business. If anyone needs o be guilty it is the person that is supposed to be in "the Truth". Let it go girl!! It is part of their tatics to make you feel guilty. You should actually repot this "brother" to the police for battery and charge his ass for assault. (I work for a organization for abused women.) Sorry for the bad typing I am not used to lap tops.

    Move on and let this wrong religion die. I have my own big story of why I left, however, please for your own sanity charge the Mother Fu**er. He probably will assult someone else and get away with it cuz that is what they are taught to do (hide abuse issues and leave it in "Jehovahs hands") what a joke! Let the "elders know AFTER you report the abuse to the police.Write a journal of all the abuse including the days and what was said and what happened. This will be admissible in court if you choose to take it this far. Get away from this religion ( i was baptised and just walked away after 23 years - wooooohoooo!)

    Brenda

    from East Van

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