Crisis Mode! Advice please!

by 5thGeneration 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • 5thGeneration

    I am in deep Shite!

    Haven't been to a meeting for a year. Rumours are rampant in Canada as my family is 'prominent'.

    P.O. (Super JW) Dad is visiting. He asks me if I've met Brother M (who has been the PO since last Sept.). I said "of Course" although I haven't. Conversation ended there. But I am in deep trouble!

    He actually asked my kids if they are going to meetings and if not, get this... "Who would you call to take you to the meeting if your parents don't go?".


  • crazyblondeb

    Damn.....that doesn't sound good at all. Pull yourself together!! Can you pack a u-haul in a night and RUN??

    Just kidding. That does sound bad. Did you know they were coming to visit? Did you see this coming at all? Dude, sounds like you are screwed no matter what. What did the kids say?

    Just know we are here for ya!!

  • 5thGeneration

    Thanks crazyb,

    My 12 year old is, regrettably, covering for me! Me cowering while my little girl answers for me. It makes me sick.

    My beautiful wife is also at the edge.

    Time for a final decision I guess...

  • Hope4Others
    I've met Brother M (who has been the PO since last Sept

    First off he obviously knows the P.O. so he can check on that, And second quiz the kids what did they say? You could work off that, if not you may just have

    to fess up, and then go from there about you have questions and leave it at that! If this is tuff then don't admit anything else except you have ????'s


  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    (((5th Generation)))

    It is a horrible situation to be in! Thoughts are with you!!!

  • 5thGeneration

    Thanks for the hugs.

    It is terrible especially because I have an 11 and 13 year old.

    Holy crap!

  • JWdaughter

    Calm down, God don't crap:) Let's hope anyway!

    Worst case scenario? Dad will cause you to be DF'd and won't talk to you anymore. It's been a year since you have been to a meeting and he hasn't caught on yet? Not an incredibly close relationship. He probably now suspects something(cowering 12 year olds tend to raise suspicions:)) and won't pursue it, because what they don't know can't hurt them and they really don't want to reject you any more than you want them to shun you.

    Ok, some of the above is pure speculation--but did you think it would never come up when you have very talkative aged kids? If they were 2 and under, you could get away with some stuff-temporarily. Maybe

    Why'd you lie about the PO? Wouldn't it have been easier to say-'no I haven't met the guy yet'? Which is true and doesn't paint you in a corner? (I figure it popped out, but wonder if it was a considered choice of fib)

    I am not judging you at all, and I hope all goes well for you with the superJWdad. My uncle used to be the super JW(wouldn't talk to nice lil me). The 3 ex wives,alcoholism,bankruptsy, innumerable children/stepchildren/child lost to suicide, another to leukemia kind of humbled him, and he now talks to ex JWs. Of course, he doesn't have ONE JW in his immediate family except my mom. I realise that this is not very encouraging REALLY,and I would not wish any of that on anyone! However, the supers often fall off that horse when a child 'strays'. That 'earthly hope' seems pretty far off when the people you love the most are inaccessible in THIS life, in the present.

    All my best to you and your family, including your dad. It is a hard thing to be a superJW!

  • sass_my_frass

    The day you want to stop running and stand up to your bully of a father, get a baseball bat or a crowbar, and be holding it during any conversation you have with him. He must not interfere in your family, and if you have to lose him and many other people, it will be a small price to pay for you and your children.

  • MissingLink

    There comes a time when you have to fess up and own your situation. You're doing the right thing for the kids. Be proud and don't show one shred of weakness about your decision.

  • Galileo

    I agree with Missing Link. I know it's easier said then done, but it sounds like the cat's out of the bag now anyway. He's clearly talked to the PO and knows you aren't going. Time to face it head on.

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