Crisis Mode! Advice please! (page 3)

Awakened at Gilead

5th,

If you tell lies to your dad that he can easily verify are false, then he'll have nore fuel for the idea that all "apostates" are a bunch of liars...

Stand up to him, tell as much truth as you need to. I stod up to my "anointed" step-dad, and challenged him to explain Daniel 8:14 without the aid of a society publication. (the 2,300 days that supposedly were fulfilled from 1938 to 1944).

A month later he still is trying to figure out how he will respond to me... and no-one is bugging me, not my parents and not my local BOE.

So, be brave, and take a stand. Tell him something that will stymie him... and he'll leave you alone.

A@G

StAnn

I know this is very, very difficult. However, I don't think you realize how much stress you and your family are living under, since you're living a double life in a lot of ways. As painful as this is, apparently this is the time for you to deal with it.

Just tell your dad the truth: that, although it is how you were raised and you would give your eye teeth for it to be "the truth" for the sake of the family, you just don't believe it is the truth and you can't in good conscience participate any longer. Let your dad know you love him and you aren't rejecting him; you just can't live a lie your whole life. I wouldn't get into specifics about what you don't believe anymore, unless he is seriously willing to listen to you.

Good luck.

Finally-Free

Be honest. At first it will be the hardest thing you've ever done, but the long term rewards are immeasurable.

W

str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up

I was 4th Gen. 4 elder uncles (one who is a missionary). An brother who was an elder and a regular pioneer, two brother in laws who were elders and regular pioneers, and my Dad was the PO of every congregation I was ever in. I, too, was a ministerial servant, and at one point, a regular pioneer.

In August, I disassociated and told them I was gay.

Dude, sometimes you have to make the hard decisions, because they are RIGHT. This is your family, your life. You deserve to be able to live it to the full, and your kids should be saved from living a life of fear and recrimination.

I wish you all the best in what is always a difficult journey out - but do not lot the fear of the EXIT deter you from the joy which is the FREEDOM.

hamsterbait

You have two little kids covering FOR YOU??

Can you see what an opportunity this is for your children to be permanently immunized against the Witchtower Babble and Trash Society?

Let them SEE for themselves what utter swines these people can be.

Show them from the Litterature that they will have to shun you if they become baptized.

show them all the failed promises, the beth Hell ites thrown out with no pension, the elderly dying, who were told Armageddy will be here before they are old.

They will get over the disillusionment far more quickly at their age, and move on into a real life, not one based on Walt Disney Bambi fantasies.

HB

Quandry

My 12 year old is, regrettably, covering for me! Me cowering while my little girl answers for me. It makes me sick.

Yes, it will be hard to confess to your father. Start with, "I love you dad, and nothing can ever make me stop loving you or being your son, and I hope that you feel the same about me."......

Why do this and not just carry on a lie? Because you want the respect of your children. You are their example. Will you teach them that it is easier to lie yourself out of a situation or take responsibility and own up to truth?

Please do not place this burden on your little girl. She may feel in time that she is the cause of problems in the family. Or she may resent you for doing this to her.

We are here for you...........

Terry

You know, Dad, I feel very embarassed about something. Could I talk to you about it in private?

Thanks.

I feel bad and want to get something off my chest. You remember when you asked me about meeting attendance? I didn't answer honestly.

That's right. I felt the need to lie to you and that is a clear breach of my love for you. I need your help. Can we talk?

I ask that you hear me out in full. Then, whatever you might want to ask or say would be most welcomed by me. I love and respect you and think you only have my best interests at heart. Just as I have my own kids best interests at heart.

First off, I haven't gone to meetings in almost a year!

Sounds bad? It is. But, it is bad for a different reason than you might suspect. I haven't gone because I haven't been able to figure out how to get the help I need from the brothers there. This is what I mean.

I have gone from confident absolute certainty to a sickening feeling of being fooled about some important things--things I can't get anybody to help me with BECAUSE---and this is essential that you understand, Dad---BECAUSE there is nobody who cares about me at the Kingdom Hall. I know that because they won't listen to problems--they try to shoo them away like troublesome flies.

There is no help for me as a STRAY SHEEP because none of the shepherd's will leave the 99 and come cradle me in their arms and lead me back to the fold.

What do I mean? Am I blaming the elders for not doing my part for me? Am I scapgoating others? Yes and no!

Hear me out.

I have been reading information which, at first, I thought was bogus about the Watchtower Society's connections with the United Nations. It sounded incredible. I even laughed at it--at first. But, the more I investigated, the more facts came to light. I won't go into it all at this moment. Suffice to say, I felt compelled by honesty and a Berean style curiousity about fact finding to pursue what was truth and what wasn't.

Let me tell you, Dad--it was like opening Pandora's box!! More and more and more awful facts came spilling out about Pedophilia the Society has been covering up and---many other things which weighed heavily on my heart and mind.

I froze. I may have been stunned. I was certainly in a crisis of conscience about it.

Here is where the real problem began---I KNEW I'D BE MARKED AS AN APOSTATE if I even opened a conversation about these things.

I'd be judged without a fair hearing or a chance for conversation and discussion. You know its true!!! It is "shoot first and ask questions later" with the Judicial Committe and I'd be the one shot.

I tried to preserve my status in the congregation by NOT CONFRONTING a kangaroo court who wouldn't even try to clear these matters up (since we both know they are not even allowed to consider them on merit.)

I did the cowardly thing. I AVOIDED confrontation. But, I did a heroic thing as well at the same time---I didn't put myself in the position of acting like a hyocrite. That counts for something as well.

THIS IS WHERE I NEED YOUR HELP MOST--DAD. Could you sit down with me and hear what these problems and contradictions are and help me sort them out? I need somebody who LOVES ME AND CARES ABOUT ME to walk me through this and not SIMPLY ACT LIKE IT IS UNIMPORTANT what is true and what is false.

You see, Dad, I don't want to serve men rather than God! I want to be certain what I believe comes from honest servants of Jehovah and not manipulative cult leaders. Yes, you heard me right---that is how it is looking to me at the moment.

I'M SCARED that I've wasted my life and my children's future by getting us involved in a CULT of mind control!!

Yes--NOW YOU SEE how severe this problem is.

Are you willing to hear me out and walk through this to help me? Or, are you going to be like the elders at the Kingdom Hall who don't care what is fact and what is fiction and JUDGE ME as spiritually sick---as though the FACTS should not even be heard?

Do you LOVE ME ENOUGH to be my shepherd and leave the 99 other sheep and come get me where I am? Or, will you judge me without a fair hearing?

My well-being and that of my children hang in the balance.

I'll say only one more thing and then, it is your turn.

I WILL ONLY WORSHIP from a clear and clean conscience INFORMED by a truth which conforms to facts of reality. I won't just do what some faceless men in Brooklyn tell me to do BECAUSE THEY SAID SO.

Are you ready to help me--Dad? I'm counting on you.

flipper

5th GENERATION- I do indeed understand what you are going through. I agree with the posters telling you to be honest. You can detour the attention from your " having met the presiding overseer " to telling your dad you have doubts about scandals and how they have been handled. It has shaken your faith! Your dad will still accept you and will just see you have doubts. If your dad isn't fanatical. My dad ( a log time 55 year elder ) and mom accepted my differences with the organization over the hiding of child abuse , and they respect my fading status still after almost 5 years. So, be honest . Just don't let dad drill you, or ask the million $$ question, " Do you believe this is still Jehovah's organization" ? Just play stupid and confused, you should do fine. Good luck ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Quandry

Yeah, what Terry said!!!!

Bring_the_Light

On the PO meeting issue, you can just indicate you must have met someone who "you thought" was the PO, but oops mistaken.

I'M SCREWED

Bah! no you're NEVER screwed in this organization. You just have a choice. Do you use this opportunity to stick to your guns and go down in a blaze of glory, or do you act strategically repentful. You don't need an excuse, if you want to stay on the down low, just act ashamed, say you don't know why you've become so spurratic in your attendance. Say something about not knowing enough people, not feeling as welcome as you did in the past, place the blame on the dub club (<----woo! my first use, this means "congregation")

Basic choice, blaze of glory, or lie your britches off. The Borg has left you a binary option. Make your choice. The most important part of it is coming back to JWD to tell us all about it.

Bring_the_Light

Crisis Mode! Advice please!

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