Why are many JWDers so adamant about keeping your thoughts to yourself?

by Awakened at Gilead 74 Replies latest members adult

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  owenfieldreams

  I see I'm a little late to the party here on this thread, but I'll go ahead and chime in--Being a slow fader/"inactive one" with lots of family still actively in, I have no problem at all admitting that I'm very selective in when and how I discuss and reveal my true feelings and concerns on the JWorg to others. There have been times when I've had open, frank discussions about some things, and there have been other times when I have chosen to remain silent, and to me there's not a damn thing wrong with that. Everybody's situation is unique and we all have to make our own determination what is best for us and our other family members involved. I think it's silly and grossly misinformed for anyone on this board to try and make an issue or be judgmental about how any of us choose to handle this. Heck, isn't that one of the reasons some of you left to begin with??? Just because some of us simply don't feel like we have to shout out from our rooftop our feelings on the religion, carry picket signs in front of 25 Columbia Heights, or be a big flag waver for "apostates" just because we have some profound problems and disagreements with this organization, doesn't mean we're 'living in fear', still under the hynotic sway of any cult mind control, or turning a blind eye to child pedophilia.

  Some of you have chosen to make a clean break, DA/DF, walk away completely, etc.. and have lost or given up on family members in the process--that's YOUR decision and no one has the right to question it imo, since you're the one that has to live with the consequences of it. OTOH, some of us have decided to handle our situations a little differently. Either way, it's a personal, individual decision each of us have to make, and I don't think any of us should be critical of the other.

  There, 'nough said. I'll step off my soap box now....
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  Wasanelder Once

  I don't recall any obligation to anyone about having to spill my guts to them. I don't attend any more and never will, but I still don't DA because I don't want the baggage. I have allowed time to pass and maintained my good standing in the eyes of those "FEW" jw friendships I've maintained. They see I'm not out to conquer the world and so have no problem with my inactivity. I view it as being dead to the Organization and could care less if they ever know how I feel. Actions speak louder than... Only the hardcore JW's say dumbass things like, "Aren't you going to serve Jehovah with us?" I usually ask, "Did Abraham go in field service in order to serve Jehovah? He was known as Jehovah's friend as I recall." It pisses them off. W.Once
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  flipper

  AWAKENED at GILEAD- As time goes on though - I am becoming more vocal to my family than I was after first leaving the cult 5 years ago ! Although I pick and choose my discussions with various family members - I am becoming more set in my non-witness ways, and the longer I'm away from it - I have less tolerance for the deceptive tactics of the witnesses
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  Warlock

  It aint like quitting the Catholic church, ya know.

  Warlock
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  83501nwahs

  I am in 100% agreement with Dawg. I respect him as a man of action. Unfortunately, 99.9% of the people on this board are do-nothings. I have repeatedly suggested actions over this past year especially. I have made myself available to support actions of others, but none are ever proposed. My meet-up group in Long Beach (near LA and probably the hub of all things apostate and home to hundreds of ex-witnesses if not thousands) died after a peak attendance of two! I even offered free drinks and treats. TREATS for god's sake! No one ever showed up.
  
  I have been laughed at on this forum for suggesting activism on any level. I have posted on this subject many times and all I have gotten in response is other posters rolling over on the couch and yawning. I just read a thread on how there used to be so many protesters at conventions in years past. It is true. The current set of apostates don't even deserve the term apostate. All of you here reading this aren't worthy of the fine apostate heritage that has been handed down to us. Shame on all of you milque toast do nothing ex-witnesses. You are letting the cult win, and allowing ignorant people being taken advantage of by an evil corporation to stay ignorant. There is no counter ministry except for that of the born agains who make videos.
  
  We deeply need some of the finer atheists to get off their asses. Every time I go out to a convention to protest, like today in Long Beach for instance, the only protesters are stinking bible thumpers who try to draw me int0 debate over their stupid book, and criticize me for not believing in their hateful god. I could really use some intelligent company out there.
  
  Sadly this post will nly fall on deaf ears. Go back to sleep now you lazy excuses for apostates.
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  Wasanelder Once

  What?
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  Switch

  I have to admit that I was surprised when coming on JWD that so many were taking YEARS to fade. I've only started learning how wrong things are with the WTS since Dec. and I can hardly stomach talking to friends or going to meetings. I guess I'm not a good faker. My hubby and I pretty much straight away sort of tested the waters with some family and friends to see how they felt about some issues. I can see the need to be sensitive since the parents are nearly hysterical with the small hintings that we've made. But I'm rapidly making a stand against my mom, scary as that is. I know I have to do it. It comes to a point where you have to rip the band-aid off. I had originally told hubby that I'd do a gradual fade until the end of the year, but it's sort of progressing rather quicker than I intended so I don't think we'll be in the Kingdom Hall until then.

  Switch
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  Awakened at Gilead

  I hear you Switch, I find it hard to not to speak out what I believe in.

  My DA was announced Tuesday night at the KH, but I have had time to speak to my family. My parents have told me that they will continue to talk to me, and I am working on my brother. We should be on speaking terms as long as I don't try to take them out of the WTS.

  That said, I undersatnd that many families take a harder stance and I feel for the suffering that many JWDers face.

  A@G
• 

  caliber

  Let me use an illustration to highlight the problem with full confrontation .......

  I once watched a movie where the child of a wealthy family was held for ransom. The ransomers played, with emotions

  giving false hope, ever increasing the ransom amount.Finally the father of the child under deep emotion distress , turned the tables.

  He called their buff saying.....We will not pay the ransom, but if you harm my child, every penny of the ransom amount will go to

  hunt you down ! Well it worked , the child was released without harm ! His deep love for his child made him take this risk against

  all practical advice from others ! It could have cost him dearly... the very life of his son ! Would you have called him a fearful coward

  if he had chose to pay the ransom ? In the same way I believe many on this board have such deep love for family ... they will

  suffer to no end in hopes of helping their family . What you perceive as fear may be deeper LOVE than you can understand !

  Before you bring down the WT. house , wouldn't it be wiser and loving to take the people out first ?

  Caliber
• 

  parakeet

  Dawg's quote from Awakened: "The reason this same conversation is being had today, is the same reason it'll be here tomorrow, there is no unified front willing to defeat the enemy before you now. Now you sit there looking back on your lives, feeling regret that you were too afraid to do what you wanted then, many of you will continue to bitch and moan all without doing anything about it. The youth in this so called religion will suffer as a result... fear, that's what kept you from completing your degrees and/or many other things you really wanted......MOST of you are too afraid to tell the ones you love your real feelings, you owe them and yourselves better. It's this fear that ruins lives, and the fact this fear keeps us that know better from uniting and destroying this enemy, that's is what sickens me the most."
  
  
  
  
  
  Then, I went to college, obtained a bachelor's and master's degree, have a nonJW husband (whom I married before I left the JWs) and a grownup nonJW son, now married to a lovely nonJW woman and just had their first nonJW child. Does that sound like fear to you? Dawg?
  
  My parents, now both over 80 and still JWs, and I keep in touch. I've not tried to dislodge their beliefs as long as they don't try to dislodge my lack of belief. It's worth it to me because I love them greatly, in spite of their being JWs. Is loving your parents a sign of fear? Dawg?
  
  So, Dawg, why don't you go on up to my parents and bark in their faces about their false beliefs and bully them into submission. I guarantee that the attempt will put them in the hospital. Convincing them would kill them. Is that what you call compassion? You want to be a sad little general of a sad little bunch of vigilantes. If you can't see that different situations may require different approaches, then you must be afraid of that idea. I wonder why. Dawg.
  
  BTW, no offense to you, Awakened.