Why are many JWDers so adamant about keeping your thoughts to yourself?

by Awakened at Gilead 74 Replies latest members adult

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  FlyingHighNow

  If you aren't careful, you scare the heck out of faithful JW family members. Many of us have learned this the hard way.

  Remember when you were completely fooled by the JWs and you wished you could drill a little hole in your loved ones' and friends' heads and pour "the truth" in? People just wouldn't see things the JW way and you were perplexed? Well, it's the same difference. Just because you boldly hit them with the falseness of the org, it doesn't mean they are ready to see it. And if you scare them so badly that they will never listen to you, what ground have you gained?

  I called my sister today. I got my more enlightened brother in law on the phone. I asked him how he felt about the book study news. She was in the other room and could tell he was talking to me about it. She quashed that then and there. And I am surprised that she will speak with us at all. Before we got off the phone, she had to add that the end is so close. I told her that yes, the world sure is a huge mess. And it is. I agreed where I could. That makes her feel safer. Of course, she knows I am never going back to the hall. I don't tell her I returned to the church we were raised in. I know for sure she wouldn't speak to me at all.
• 

  Awakened at Gilead

  Thanks for your comments.

  To make things clear, I am not judging those who are fading quietly, especially since they value saving their family and it may be the only way to do so...I have already spoken both to my family and the elders, so there's no turning back for me... I did so before coming onto JWD...I was outraged when I finally had my awakening moment on 3-29-08!

  But I am interested to hear the different viewpoints. I agree with Quirky when he said that he will explain his viewpoint when asked, although we don't necesarily have to go out and start an anti-JW campaign.

  DanielP, your point is very balanced in response to Dawg that everyone is different and has different circumstances.

  Blondie, thanks for your experience. I kind of feel like when one first became a JW you wanted to blurt it out to everyone. Now that I have discovered the falsehood, I am just as zealous. Appreciate the input and your years... I am learning to have a balanced view myself...

  Thanks for the responses and keep them coming!

  A@G
• 

  Quirky1

  A@G - I liked the comment...

  I kind of feel like when one first became a JW you wanted to blurt it out to everyone. Now that I have discovered the falsehood, I am just as zealous.

  Don't you just wanna walk up to the platform and grab the mic and say, "Wake the f**k up! You're in a cult! "

  Quirky1
• 

  lrkr

  The borg can destroy families if allowed. In my mind- it is not worth loosing my family over religion. I can continue to do my thing and let them do theirs and no one needs to know any different. Its just not important enough to me to loose something real (family) over something not real (a system of ideas). They are not suffering in the borg. Most are excelling. If they start to look, they can find the truth out for themselves, like I did.
• 

  Layla33

  Awakened,

  I have read your story with interest, I think because you are so open to sharing it, so I would like to give you my perspective just for myself.

  When I first left the religion, I was adamant and I do mean adamant about why I didn't want to be a JW. I told any and all who asked without a second thought. I just didn't care, but I was young and full of purpose, as they say. That was say about 18 years ago and in that time I have learned a few things about the religion, myself and how people think.

  One of the things I have learned is that when you come at people full guns blazing attacking them, they will not hear most of what you are saying because they are on the defense. If you have a respectful conversation where someone is open to discoursing with you, then you have a better chance of getting your point across.

  Dealing with the WTS and your JWs friends and family is something that is not a one size fits all because it is a complex situation, and sometimes you need kid gloves. When it is an attack on me, I don't discourse at all - no one is going to walk away learning anything. If it is debate where both sides may hear something the other person is saying, I say my thoughts. People like my grandparents, who have been doing this for oh, over 50 years, I teach by example. I am happy, educated, successful, have a great balance of friends and therefore, I think my life states my case better than words.

  The truth is if many of us had to choose, we would choose to be involved in our families lives, despite the difference in religious values and because of that, we may maintain some shred of anonymity. I can say that's why I do not give any indication of who I am here other than the basics in terms of past life, etc

  Occasionally the topic comes up, and when it is casual, I casually state my thoughts, but otherwise, I just live my life. I may come to a place like this, support others in the quest, but my feeling is fundamentally you can't free people who don't want to be free, if that makes sense.

  When it comes to JC meeting and all of that, I use my head rather than my emotion.

  I hope that helps. I am running for a meeting, so I will check back.
• 

  maxwell

  I kind of feel like when one first became a JW you wanted to blurt it out to everyone. Now that I have discovered the falsehood, I am just as zealous.

  I feel exactly the opposite. Like someone mentioned, everyone's situation is different. Maybe it's because I was born into this religion. But I've had my fill of trying to make people listen to my preaching.

  I didn't fade, and I'm certainly am not shy about telling people what I think if they ask or if we are having a conversation about it. But I can also understand the position of those who choose to fade. If you were lucky enough to develop relationships with family or friends that you care about enough that you are willing to be cautious about your views concerning JW's in order to maintain those relationships, I say great for you. Fortunately, for me, I have a limited relationship with my parents, but honestly, when I made the decision to leave, I considered the possibility of being cut off compeletely, and it didn't matter to me. When you're taught from birth that invisible guy and his organization are more important than all else including your mother and father, sometimes it's difficult to develop the strongest bonds. So I applaud those who do care.

  And I reiterate what other people said about speaking when the listener is ready. I would never have listened to anyone preaching to me. I was a JW and I had all the answers and anyone pushing another agenda was a nut, especially those people preaching against the "one true religion." When I was ready to question my beliefs, I went to the Internet. If the Internet had not been around, I would have gone to the library. There I could consider whatever viewpoints I wanted to consider at my own pace, not just the singular viewpoint of the person who has decided today they need to get me to see the light.
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  jgnat

  More and more I'll ask a JW before I start, "Do you really want to know?" Some quietly admit they don't. If they say "yes", they are primed to hear.

  You know, they are so primed to hear Satan's words, often I don't bother. If you thought you were getting a message from Satan, would you pay attention?
• 

  5go

  Like Dawg said We fade out of fear.

  Fear being a good thing it keeps us alive but it can disrupt our life.

  When that happens it's time to confront the fear.
• 

  sf

  If you go back through my posting history here, you will see that this issue has been a forefront for me. I WILL NEVER COMPREHEND WHY THEY CONTINUE TO STAY SILENT WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THEY HAVE, WHILE CHILDREN STAY TRAPPED. It absolutely boggles my mind just how incredibly selfish they truly are. I understand fear, trust me. But when you see a child in distress, what will you DO? I applaude dawgs posts. He gets it. When will the rest of you get it and help those children? When? sKally
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  AK - Jeff

  I don't stay quiet. In fact at times I speak up too often and get myself cut-off with no chance of helping them. [I only have one Jw relative -and it looks like currently I have taken it too far again.]

  The more I am away from them, the more I realize that I have absolutely nothing to talk to them about anyway. They hate it when I tell them the things I know about their religion - and yet they have nothing else to talk about themselves. I tend to agree with OM on this one: The teacher will appear when the student is ready.

  Jeff