White Dove, I am glad you understood what I was trying to say.
Have you ever just felt crushed by what someone has said to you?
I come rather late to this discussion but I have my two cents' worth anyway. I think that the idea that it all depends on how we take the words is an oversimplification. What if what is said is true and very painful. Velvetann and Coondawg both related extremely painful things their children said. I don't think you can let something like "I hate you and I wish you were dead" roll off your back very easily. It's painful not to be loved by someone you love.
Here is a quote that helps us understand that emotion comes from within ones own mind
The first step is to notice when we indulge such afflictive emotions and remember that they are the cause of suffering. We should investigate how they are the cause of suffering. In the case of anger and hatred, for example, we should consider that these emotions are not caused by the actions and words of others, but by our own minds. If someone else had the power to put anger into our minds, they would have the power to do so consistently and to whatever degree they would like. However, we have all had the experience of suddenly not being bothered by some consistent action of another that usually really gets to us, or one day being really bothered by something that we hardly noticed before. This is proof that these emotions are a product of our own minds and not the result of someone else’s words or deeds.
eliminating common behavioral negativities -like fear, shame, guilt, arrogance, envy, jealousy, greed, phobia and many others like that- is considered to be one of the easiest and most powerful tools of self-improvement, which also nurtures innate nature of a person by eliminating 'negative attitude and pessimistic thinking' from the core of psyche