Oh my, just found out, my grandson, is autistic, daughter has cancer... (page 2)

momzcrazy

when do i get to have a meltdown

Whenever you need to. But not when your daughter can see. You need to give her your mommy strength. She may be an adult, but when we're that sick we just want mommy.

Your son and grandson will be OK with therapy and meds. They can do alot for autism these days. I suggest you read up on it. In case your son needs a break from the trials of raising him. You will be able to take him for the afternoon better prepared.

Hang in there. That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

momz

real one

You must be a very strong person because the Bible says that God will not put more on us than we can bear. Hopefully you believe in God and can run to him for comfort. Go cry it out and praise God.

AWAKE&WATCHING

((((((((((((((((Wendy)))))))))))))))))))))) I've had a pretty full plate myself so I completely understand the feeling of just wanting to lose it but having to be the strong one. Try really hard to take it one day at a time. It really does make a difference. My heart goes out to you sweetie.

mouthy

((((((wendy)))))))))) I am so sorry all this is going on in your life ( & family)

I do believe in Spiritual warfare,sounds like that is going on there. Hang in there sweetie, This to will pass. God Bless

quietlyleaving

I'm so sorry wendy.

Sunspot

(((((Wendy)))))

You have seen some great advice on the earlier posts. "One day at a time" is the best way to cope with and attack anything when things seem to hit us in waves like this. If you recall, we raised a learning disabled autitistic grandson (with ADHD) since five months of age---he did not speak until he was four and had temper tantrums that would make people clear an aisle in a grocery store---and he has graduated High School and is in his first year of college a few hours from here.

There is much more attention being focused on Autism than even a few short years ago, and many wonderful agencies that have free pamphlets and even classes to take on how to best deal with the problems brought on by families with members suffering from Autism, a hop over to GOOGLE will help you I'm sure.

This was the first post I happened to see after quite a LONG time from being away from JWD....( for whatever reason, I just could NOT figure out how to log on or be able to participate). Hubby finally unraveled the mystery, fixed me right up.....and here I am! After all this time being away, it was nice to find I might be able to help with something I happened to have a little bit of knowledge in.

hugs,

Annie

Leolaia

wendy.....I am going to say something very important about autism: It's far too early to have negative expectations of the outcome. There are a lot of popular stereotypes about what autistic adults are like (typically low-functioning, socially handicapped, retarded, etc.) but these are very misleading. The truth is that until recently, autism was heavily underdiagnosed due to very narrow clinical diagnostic categories. Now the categories have become very broad, with more and more people coming under the umbrella of "autism" in our country, largely thanks to improved scientific testing and recognition of the signs at earlier and earlier ages. But what that means is that autism now is a far more diverse spectrum than what is used to be in the 1980s and earlier. And as the category has expanded, it has grown to include greater and greater numbers of higher-functioning autistics -- people who in the past would have been excluded from the diagnosis for one reason or another. What is not generally recognized is that all the kids in the 1970s and 1980s who were excluded from the diagnosis but who would be labelled "autistic" today are walking around today living pretty average lives, each still facing some issues pertaining to their autism, but who otherwise "pass for normal".

I am one of them. Name the symptom of autism, and I had it at age 3. I was unable to talk or even communicate my feelings (not even with verbal expressions), I acted as if I was deaf and had my hearing tested many times, I played repetitively with a toy or object the "wrong way" for hours, liked to line up my toys, threw huge tantrums if the schedule suddenly changed or if we took a different route in the car, I liked to twirl and flap my hands, loved to spin things over and over, got frightened by certain sounds and had super sensitive hearing, showed little interest in people but obsessive interest in books and written words (hyperlexia), had terrible muscle coordination, etc. My mom and I developed a system of communication by improvising our own sign language and by drawing pictures. In kindergarten I had special education in a school that specialized in autistic, deaf, and brain-damaged children and I was taught mainly with pictures. But I was not labelled as autistic because I was not an idiot savant, I showed no signs of mental retardation (as opposed to developmental delay), and I just seemed to have a higher degree of social ability. But if I had been born in the year 2000, I most certainly would have been labelled autistic way back at age 2.

And what happened to me? I learned to adapt to the world and grew up to be pretty average -- I mostly "pass for normal" and live a pretty happy life. That doesn't mean I'm no longer autistic or no longer face these issues. They still arise in different ways (e.g. I am horrible at job interviews, am mostly shy and get overwhelmed in some social situations, have some residual phobias and sensory discomforts, etc.), but they also present certain strengths: I have obsessive interests that allow me to research subjects in great depth and detail. Of course I am not saying that any autistic person would adapt as well as I have. Not at all -- it's a wide spectrum. But at the age of 3, it is just far too early to predict how things would turn out. My nephew is also autistic and he did not talk at age 3 and now he is a pretty typical teenager, still with some issues but very successful in what he does. The main thing is not to be pessimistic. It will involve more work and attention and patience, and it may not be easy raising an autistic child. But there is no reason to think that the severity of the symptoms of autism (which largely reflect the child's frustration and difficulty in negotiating social situations) won't fade over time as the child learns to adapt to society. Those who are mentally retarded may make less progress, but if the child has normal or above average intelligence (as is frequently the case) there is every reason to think that he or she will adapt. The main thing for the parent is to understand the challenge facing the child, understand what issues frustrate him or her, and have the patience to help him or her learn to compensate without becoming so frustrated that he or she stops trying. It is important for the child to feel like he or she is making progress. It is also important to keep him or her challenged.

Anyway, I hope this gives you some perspective on autism. There is also a lot of pesudoscience and hype and hysteria in the media about it. This is one of the best articles I've read about the reality of autism, and you should probably check out the book written by the guy, Unstrange Minds:

http://www.csicop.org/si/2007-06/radford.html

babygirl75

((((((((((Wendy)))))))))

orbison11

OH MY thank you all so much, you have no idea

i went into work today,,and again my windows were smashed,,time to get out of there,,,police finally are taking it seriously,,,could be x,,,i moved out on my own 5-6 months ago:(

and i have to pay,,today may be $800,,,makes it 5 times now

as for my children,,my children were not allowed to speak with me when i got df'd,,,about 10 yrs ago,,damage done, but slowly, we seem to be trying,,,as for my daughter,,i would be the last person she would call, she seems hell bent on being so strong,,driven almost

i couldnt write this stuff,,i am printing out this thread and i will keep it close to me,,,thank you all again,,wow, how messed up can our families get,,,the dysfunction, the misplacing of love,,,the fears,,etc, that , yes, some of us created in our children about armageddon, etc

thank you

wendy

Sirona

(((Wendy))))

Sending love and positive energy your way,

Keep strong,

Sirona

Oh my, just found out, my grandson, is autistic, daughter has cancer...

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