3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?

by The Scotsman 63 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  JoyNichols

  When's movie night at your house?Maybe it's time for some beer, popcorn and pizza . . . get a nice romantic movie andThe Village. Watch both movies.

  Ask your wife for her responses to The Village, then later on . . .

  Tell her that a former witness (me) told you that she now realizes living the JW life was just like living in the village - artificial, full of fear and loathing.

  It was also a lie, pure and simple. You don't need to say any of that to someone who's ready to leave or who's at least ready to 'wake up,' but I don't know if she would 'get it' without a bit of prompting.

  Good luck.
• 

  JoyNichols

  "I can't go to that hall myself!"

  Emotional blackmail?
• 

  AlyMC

  fwiw, my husband stopped going because he didn't want to go it alone. For me personally, it felt horrible. I hated knowing that he left for ME instead of himself... BUT it took that time of mental clarity and freedom from the constant catch phrases to find his own truth, which he has since done.

  I am not sure what I would do in your case. I obviously stayed true to my goal of leaving, but my husband didn't respond emotionally. Maybe you could open discussion with her that you feel these are your two choices and ask her what she would do if she were you. The conversation should progress from there.

  I hope you find a good solution.
• 

  willyloman

  My wife, now an ardent anti-dub, went through something like this the first few weeks that I decided I was going back to the KH. Every week, she asked, "Are we going to the meeting Sunday?" Her tone was somewhere between accusatory and fearful. My response was, "I'm not going; you can if you want to."

  She didn't go. It took less than a month, after which she had broken the WT spell.

  It sounds like your wife may be starting to get her mind around the idea of not being a JW and seeing that as a real option. Once that door opens, freedom is in sight.

  Good luck!