Newbies & Lurkers - Let's Get to Know You - Please Tell Us Your Story

by flipper 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    At the suggestion of my sis named Dinah ( thanks Dinah ) we thought it would be good to invite newbies , lurkers , or any others junior members etc. to tell their stories of how they got out of the Jehovah's Witnesses or what you dealt with before getting out of which you had to overcome !

    Life is hard- we all have our stories , but on this board are many caring people who will be here for you if you need a soft place to land after being controlled by the Jehovah's Witnesses mindset. So welcome my friends to the show that never ends - welcome to the rest of your life ! And welcome to JWD ! May you have peace here ! We all look forward to your experiences- please feel free to share ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • burningbridges

    The best way to sum me up is to look at all my old posts that I started. And how long am I going to be a newbie? This is getting old!!! - Not the thread, the Newbie tag.

  • megaflower

    I have learned a lot about myself in the past few months since leaving the WT. I have read ,read, and read. At the present time Iam reading Steven Hassens book, Combating Cult Mind Control. I learned that one of the reasons I got sucked into the cult was because I was at a very vulnerable time in my life. My father died, and 3 days later my mother in law died, and 3 days later grandma died. Also, My son was born only a few months before. My mother discovered she had MS 3 months after my dad died. She deterioted fast so she could not take care of my little sister. She was 11. My husband and I took her in and you talk about stress. I was only 25 years old, had an 18 month old, a newborn and an 11 year old sister to take care of as well as a sick mother. The JW came around and they were so sweet, nice and caring. They had me right where they wanted me. I got sucked into the cult for 20 years. Now- Free at last

  • flipper

    BURNING BRIDGES - I'm sorry you have gone through the rejection and shunning process from the organization. It must be a challenge having a husband who is still a witness. I believe you switch from newbie to junior member at 100 posts ! Welcome to the board, like your takes !

    MEGAFLOWER- Wow ! What a story. I'm so sorry you lost your family in death and your mom's health to illness. The witnesses really did hit you at a low time in your life. I'm glad you are educating yourself to understand the process of what happened to you. I read Hassan's book too, isn't it great ? Hope you are doing well my friend, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • dinah

    Burning Bridges, after I read about 20 of your posts I didn't call you "newbie" anymore. Thinking back I was probably a "newbie" for about a year. I was reading and learning and crying most of the time.

    Mega, they "caught you at a bad time". Sorry couldn't resist.

    Mr. Flipper, great idea!!! You are more suited to handle this one, but I will help out as much as possible.

    For any newbies, Mr. Flipper has been my voice of reason for quite a while now. Minimal bitterness, maximum kindness.

  • flipper

    DINAH- Thanks for the kind words sis ! I would appreciate any comments you would make to help the newbies and others out ! Thanks for the idea ! Emphasis on maximum kindness ! Good thought ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • whoknows

    I appreciate the kind invitation. My husband and I have been lurking here almost a year. It has been a help to me in ways I can't express, just knowing you are not alone. I've been intimidated to post. I feel a little older than some of you, not as clever and not as computer literate. Anyway, here goes, a little introduction. My husband and I have faded together over the past 9 months or so, after about 40 - 50 years of active involvement. My husband was appointed an elder at the age of 25 (what were they thinking?) and served for 26 years as presiding overseer in two congregations until he was removed for attending our DFd daughter's wedding. My husband was one of the "good ones" if I do say so myself. A good guy who stood up for the voiceless one in the congregation, and stood up to the bully pharisaical elders to challenge them on their small mindedness. It tended to create enemies for him. I think we were thought of as the far left liberal witnesses to some. The younger ones in teh congregation (friends of our children) always loved us, and we took them in. Took them into our family life with just a sit down dinner ( where that didn't often happen in their house), warm family banter, a night watching Tv together, and included many of these kids on our family vacations. I think these kids do have warm memories of those times, I know I do. They have spoken of us as their family, like a mom and dad. I don't regret any of those efforts with those kids, it was mutually fulfilling. Now I wonder, if my husband and I are dfed or da, will they simply disappear from ourlives? We have had a pretty clear message recently that one who I consider a son who has made it pretty clear he would not be coming around. He is now in his 30s, but we have known him since he was 5 or 6. Bottom line is we realize that we have lost all of our friends. evem the closest. We understand that to disagree with the teachings of the GB is worse than murder or adultrey. child molestation or stealing. It is the unforgiveable sin. The only way I was able to reply to this post is because I have had a couple of nice scotch on the rocks, and it has given me courage (but perhaps not clarity). In any case,I have been so impressed and encouraged by what I have heard on tnis board, I wanted to thank all of those with the courage to xpress yourselves honestly. We are in Los Angeles Caoifornia area, and would welcome any encouraging words from anyone.

  • dinah


    Thanks for that! The loss of friendship seems to be the major source of pain when leaving. If more elders were like your husband the borg might almost be bearable. The nice elders I knew were treated badly.

  • leftbelow

    Well I have gone backand forth about posting my story but I am becoming less and less concerned with what might happen to me. But I am going to be very general for the sake of my wife who remains in. I was born in (3rd Gen). Publisher and TMS at age 5. Pioneered from age 15. Went to Bethel became an MS at a young age.ECT.......

    The start of my release was doing research for a public talk. I wanted to give the congragation something extra about 607 and of course what I found out was very distrubing. That opened my eyes to look at other things that had been bothering me for years. My family had also been victims of child molestation some I knew of and others I found out about later. In each of the congragations I served in I kept finding more and more of these molestation problems. So by the time I worked up the courage to come here I knew I was thru with them. There is a lot more but I still have to look out for the wife but I hope she will come around.

    I have lost some freinds gained some new freinds and some of my old wittness freinds have just stuck with me (I am not DF'ed just fading). The thing I miss the most is my sense of direction which I know I will get back some day but when you let someone else handle that for decades it takes a little while to get your bearings back. Thanks to everyone on here who have help me deal with the many issues that come up while exiting this cult some of you directly some just by your insightful post.

  • flipper

    WHO KNOWS- I'm so happy you posted ! Give my thanks to your Scotch on the rocks as well ! LOL! I just want to let you and your husband know that I care. Dinah cares. Many of us on the board care and feel what you have been through. I was in 44 years from birth - got out almost 5 years ago, am 48 now. I saw a lot of what you described about the injustices you and your husband saw - I experienced the injustices too ! I am proud of you and your husband that you stood up on behalf of your DFed daughter and went to her wedding ! Your daughter needed you more than the witness " cult " !

    This witness organization does not have the right to control our relationships with our families. I too have had to make aggressive stands against " faulty elder reasonings " in order to keep talking with my older ( 80's ) witness parents ! Welcome to the board , look forward to staying in touch, you have friends here , tell your husband that as well please. I will PM you my wife and my phone numbers if you and your husband would like to talk ! Thanks for your story - please keep your head and chin up ! Hang in there friend . Hopefully will talk soon ! Peace.

    DINAH- Hey sis , thanks for responding to these dear people ! Doesn't your heart ache for what some of our friends have gone through ? It hits me really deep man. Peace.

    LEFT BELOW- Thanks for sharing your story my friend. I'm so sorry your family suffered child molestation. It is incredibly insane how much this pedophile problem has infiltrated the witness organization. I truly feel in time the exposure of more of these cases in the organization , being made public - will help bring down the Watchtower society in time. But it's gonna take time.

    I'm sure you have a challenge still having a believing wife. Hopefully as you said she will come around in time. Just want you to know we care and if you ever want to talk - I'll PM you my phone number. Hang in there friend. I was in it 44 years - I know how important a hearing ear can be ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

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