Maybe I should have gone to Memorial....possible regrets.

by oompa 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    Only we can know what's best to do in our own situation. Yeah, not going to the Memorial will probably not set well with them, but then again, there's always next year!

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23

    Oompa golfs?

  • Layla33
    Layla33

    Oompa it's not an easy situation, there is no black/white, you have to do what works for you and feels right. Doing something once and while won't kill you, it just depends on you and what type of message you want to send. There of plenty of people on here (some I find surprising) that still attend meetings, but for whatever reason they know it is not the truth. To me, just realizing it's crap and not something they believe is worth more than sitting up there for a half a meeting or whatever.

    Just be true to yourself, that's all that matters in the end.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I always try to answer with some knowledge of the person I am answering to.
    Or at least try to empathize with their situation.

    I went to the memorial for the sake of peace (and a needed ride from dubs).
    If I had been at home, I would not have gone. I don't need conditional friends
    like the JW's at the hall. Personally, I don't think a Memorial would be enough
    for them. They would want at least the occasional Sunday meeting.

    Go to the special talk as mentioned before. See if that helps. If it ain't enough
    for your friends and business contacts, screw it.

    You may be able to keep some friends that way. I doubt it, but you never know.
    My best friend (JW) hasn't shunned me yet, maybe you have people like him.

  • unique1
    unique1

    You could always tell them you had that norovirus and were vomiting uncontrollibly.

  • bite me
    bite me

    just for a heads up so I'll be in the know of what is going on... the special talk; what will it be about?

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    I just wanted to say I don't know if it gives our family false hope. I think they are in continual hope for our return. In their mind we are probably going to die, sad to say. I kind of think for special events it would be solely a sign of respect for their occasion. They can hardly fathom us not going to these events since it is "God's" direction that we do.

    I wrote earlier that I attended a public talk given by a friend recently. He was hurt I am told, when I didn't go a few years ago. At that time, I just could not do it. Now, for him and his wife, they had the warm and fuzzies that I wentand nothing more has been said. I think they now just consider me "worldly."

    **sigh**

  • blondie
    blondie

    The trouble is if you give an inch, they'll want a mile. If you can keep your boundaries strong, you might be able to go to one meeting a year. I remember when I was an active but "proud" jw and wondered why they even bothered to come, like it would protect them from destruction at Armageddon. I have grown since then and haven't been in 6 years. It's time to find new friends outside the WT prison. You can do it. It just takes a couple.

    Love, Blondie

  • esw1966
    esw1966
    I am afraid the judgemental people that they are, may not be able to stand to be around me anymore, and that impacts family. Is it so wrong to compromise myself for just one night?

    I think if going for one night will make things better for your family, it would be okay to go for their sakes. You know what is right and why you are there and your actions speak love for your family. Your family knows where you stand and might even think that it is silly for you to have to go through such motions just to placate those at the hall for your families sake. It could even make her think.

    I believe that standing by your beliefs is important. I am willing to pay the price that goes with that. I believe that is walking in my integrity. But, to show love for your family and help them on occasion can be beneficial as well.

    I figure that if I ever get my girls to come over, that I will take them to the hall. I would even be willing to take them out in service, though I know that would never fly. I figure it is good for them to see contrasts. It will help them to see things more as how they are than what their perceptions are.

    I'm sorry for your recent family strain.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    Try not to be too down on yourself, I'm sure things will work out for you and as far as the

    plus I do a lot of biz with dubs, and this could cost me some jack

    work with dubs if they are happy with whatever you supply them etc thy usually stick around. Its a trust issue trying to find

    anyone else with the same product or service that you can trust.

    Best of luck!

    Hope4other

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