My Husband found out about this site...

by cognac 69 Replies latest jw friends

  • JK666
    JK666

    cognac,

    I hope the discussion with your husband went well. When you can, let us know how it turned out.

    JK

  • cognac
    cognac

    First and foremost, I want to thank everyone for your support, it really means a lot to me...

    So, this is what happened...

    Friday = huge argument.

    Saturday, I took some advice from here and just listened. he didn't have to much to say. So, I asked him, "if I could show you a scripture about the society's teaching being wrong on fornication, would you want to read it?" He said yes. I showed him 1 cor. 7;36. So, a light bulb went off in his head.

    Then, he said, 'Oh, i have to show this scripture to so and so because this would relieve his conscious"

    So, I told him that if he shows that scripture to him, and that brother tells the elders you told him that, you could end up in a JC because of apostacy with according to the society, the definition of that is teaching any contrary to what they put out through there information. He was like, wow, thats really deep. I said, "see, that's one of the reasons I'm having such a difficult time with everything." and I just kinda ended the conversation there. he was a bit thrown off by that.

    So, he's not changing anything, but at least its better. At least his eyes are openned a bit more to what it is he's involved with.

    In the meantime, I'm giving it a break for a bit...

    One other shockingly funny thing that happened at the meeting today. i was talking with my husband and another brother, and I said to the brother, "oh did you see the new light on the annointed in the march mag?" And, without missing a beat, my husband chimes in, "Oh and did you also see the new light on the blood issue? Now, you can take blood as long as you take the DNA out first." Oh, good lord, I was rolling after that...

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    ROTFL! Oh man you're both in for it now! "DNA"! LOL! um...

  • coffee_black
    coffee_black

    Cognac,

    I'm so glad it has calmed down a bit... You're doing great!

  • lrkr
    lrkr

    Good job. He seems open minded enough. Let him take his time (and kick him in the nards when he's taking too long- no don't do that- I may meet him someday and he will hate that)

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    love never fails. his world has been rocked b/c he feels being a jws is the "deal breaker" . Try and imagine you are him and think how shocked you'd be.

    I bet you two really love each other and that's where I'd start here. Spend some time together, talk, go have coffee or whatever, alone. Try and recall why you got married- you love each other. you will have to be the initiator - b/c he is probably too upset to do this. Have sex- sex binds a couple emotionally and will cover over a lot. It may not fix it all but it can really cement your relationship if you two are very close, physically and emotionally. Try and bring back love.

    I'd back off for a while, this is not the Alamo- unless he goes to the elders and even then all is not lost. if he sees how they treat you he may awaken. . Hopefully you can prevent that though. That is what i did. I got my husband on my side- i reached in deep and found indeed he did marry me not the org. i hope you can do that.

    love , romance, emotional closeness, kindness and sex.

    now go do that

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Ah Cognac - I feel for you.

    It's crap when you feel like your family / husband / wife turns on you - it's very hurtful girl!! I hope you stay strong, stick to your guns. Courage to you.

    It's so difficult to reason with JWs - they just refuse to look into anything that would sew a seed of doubt. It's got to come from them, they've got to want to look.

    It pisses me off when the use the ""you returning to the vomit"" line or ""You're turning your back on Jehovah"" Always try guilt you back into giving up your freedom of thought.

  • JAVA
    JAVA

    Way to go, Cognac!

    The Tower wants others to question their religion, but God help the JW that questions theirs. There's a big reason why the Tower is fearful of the internet--it's information they can't control.

  • dinah
    dinah

    Wednesday just gave you some great advice. Try not to let this issue drive a wedge between you. Remember there is a time to keep silent and a time to speak. The trickly part is knowing when to speak. I'd stick to little subtle things for now.

    I feel for you, girl. It's hard to imagine the coming out process being complicated by having a spouse who is still brainwashed. There are many here who are in that same boat.

    Makes me happy I married that "worldly" man of mine.

  • truthsetsonefree
    truthsetsonefree

    I empathize with you. My ex has gone back in and is trying to take my daughter back as well. So I am putting up resistance. Even though we are getting divorced, largely because of the JWs, it still hurt to be told yesterday that I am being controlled by Satan and am a puppet in his hands doing his work. I can only imagine how it would feel to hear that kind of thing in one's own home.

    (((((((((Cognac))))))))))

    Isaac
    http://www.myspace.com/isaaccarmignani

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