My Husband found out about this site...

by cognac 69 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    COGNAC- I agree with New Boy & JK 666 . Give him time . He is adjusting to this change as you are. Remember- He is devoted to a "cult mind control" organization and he is told what answers to give you. He is a robot - used by the Watchtower society as they all are - as we all once were. That is one reason he is so defensive of it- it is all he knows in his minds experience. I'm sorry you are going through this - but this too shall pass sis ! Hang in there . Feel free to call anytime, you have my wife and my number, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Justitia Themis
    Justitia Themis

    I'm so sorry. How hurt and minimized you must feel.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    I wonder when they'll figure out that sort of abuse just makes it more likely that you will NOT return to the KH. I remember my mother used to call me stiff-necked and rebellious, more JW talk. Turns out, those are a couple of my best qualities!!! I really feel for you, it must be painful for the one you love to say something hateful like that. I wonder if HE knows it's possible to kill love.

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    Remember how shocked you were when you started finding out the real truth about the truth? It is scary when you start thinking everything you have been taught is a lie. What should you believe? Just like a dog who is injured bites out at his rescuer in panic and fear. He is biting back out of fear and panic. The base of his whole belief system is crumbling and it is scary.

    Give him time. Give him a big hug tomorrow, even if you have to wait till he gets home from service.

    momz

  • MissingLink
    MissingLink

    Dang Cognac.

    We're with you girl. You'll be ok.

    I havent told my wife about this site yet. I know I should. But although we havent been to meeting in over 2 months, she doesn't really seem to want to talk about it. She knows I'm reading CoC, but didn't even bring that up. I'm letting her bring up the subject, I'm not trying to push her.

    It's got to be harder being the wife of a JW though with the whole headship thing.

    Hang in there. Change the subject. Watch a funny movie. Come back to it again another day.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Try to put the onus of proof onto him every time he says something he can't support.

    Make him feel that he has to prove his position.

    Guilt tactics work both ways. Try to word your questions so that he will feel guilty if he can't answer you.

    Be gentle, gentle, gentle.


    Chris

  • Vinny
    Vinny

    Personally, I think you might have come in a bit too fast for any JW. Especially your own husband. And a young buck at that.

    My own wife ended up leaving on her own, after me. But it took several months after my own departure.

    All I could do was be patient with her and try to keep the information highway rolling at her pace.

    You have already shown your hand Cognac. I am not sure how this can end up in anything other than judicial if he goes to the elders, which he probably will soon enough.

    While you might hope to hang on to what is good in your life and what offers security right now, you should start thinking about what you can do if forced to start over with nothing.

    Many here will definitely offer you a helping hand, when needed. Do not be ashamed or too prideful to accept help, if you need it.

    This is what the JW's do. This is why many JW's never leave or even speak up. They destroy lives and families all the time. You cannot disagree with the organization. That is your biggest problem.

    My wife and I have a room here too. You are always welcomed to stay with us if needed.

    Hopefully though things will slow down a bit.

    But I would start thinking what you can do if it does not.

    Hang in there. Let us know if we can help!

    My very best to you Cognac!

    Vinny

  • david_10
    david_10

    Hello again, Cognac. Yes, be gentle, gentle, gentle. Good counsel. I would use the word "discreet." Straight from the dictionary:

    "Discreet 1 : having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech."

    In other words: keep your mouth shut. Don't pick a fight, don't be baited into one. It will get you nothing, and probably do more harm than good. I'm sure sorry that things aren't going so well. Give it time. Breaking down the wall that all witnesses shield themselves with is about the hardest thing you'll ever do. You think that since you've done it, that it should be easy for everyone else to do it, too, especially your husband. Not so. Give it time.

    On a side note, it appears that everything is falling apart at the seams as far as your original plan. Are you still trying to pioneer and keep up appearances? After reading the latest here, I don't see how you'll be able to pull it off for much longer.

    David

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    Yeah Cognac!

    One of the biggest nastiest 'nut job' perverted, spirtaphilia ideologies is the one about owning your soul till death They claim you They will not give in to any of your feelings! You are OWNED as far as they are concerned!

    So a fantastic genuine loving caring compassionate person will be squezed through a mangle of family friends career social circles etc etc to include anything that will reduce you to look like yesterdays news!

    Just remember your life has plenty of news left in it and your th epublisher whose gonna print it off!

  • Octarine Prince
    Octarine Prince

    I found out about your husband.

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