Yesterday my father informed me that he will shun me... (page 6)

5go

I have been noticing that more and more JW's aren't waiting for a verdict in your JC. If you are not meeting the bar in their head you are already DFed.

primitivegenius

I understand the gravity of all this stuff but the idea about when someone is older and needing after dinner care as a way of revenge goes over my head!

as revenge........... no...... but what happens when the cult they put their faith in dumps them as to much trouble?

it happens..... they get to the point they cant care for themselves.... they are poor without retirement(1975) and have shunned family for years if not decades... the witnesses know they wont be able to attend meetings anymore and if they go to a facility they still cant be connected via phone... so they leave them to the care of the family they shunned at the cults direction. maybe they will visit them while their in service and leave a magazine in the lobby so they dont have to stop their time....... maybe.

the cong i went to was one that would go alot further than most but even they let people go to homes and then visited them rarely. ive even seen it where the sick person STILL refused to associate with someone they have been shunning....... to their own detrement or even death.

personally........ if you shun me.... fine...... but i dont have to put up with your sh**. if you cant eat with me then stay the F*(&^ away. but i understand the brainwashing........ so if they got their heads out of their asses and realized that all that time they spent in the minestry has been wasted.... and all the time the spent isolateing themselves from me and mine.......... was also time wasted....... then i would be happy to be of assistance.

if however they want my assistance.......... yet want to continue shunning me........ i honestly got better things to do... like play with my son whom they have spent almost zero time with. would i refuse to help.... nah id help but i would help on my own terms........ i would see to it they had the help they needed but i wouldnt be there unless they specificly asked to see me. and even then if i was being shunned......... good bye. if my parents wanted me to be their POA and wanted me to respect their wishes about no blood......... i would..... even to their deaths.

why? because no one will force anything upon me against my wishes....... so neither would i do the same to someone else. i have allowed them to build up that wall between us........... but what they dont understand is the wall works both ways.......... they dont associate with me............ but that wall keeps them from associateing with my son........... which is fine by me........ he will be raised to know better than to allow a cult to brainwash him.

R.Crusoe

Isn't it scumlike how a religion converges all of your negative emotions back within your own family unit to take the heat off the leadership? And gets each of you doing that to each other?

Is there no sacred aspect of humanity they will not rape with their seed of circular reasoning?

R.F.

One particular thing about this that is saddening is that his shunning actions would be based on what a few men say to do.

That's a bummer, but i'm glad you are ok with this.

Robert

The Oracle

Yes, the shunning policy is a crime against humanity.

The court of human decency has spoken, and the ruling is in...

..... JWs Suck (at least the leadership, the policy makers, and the brainwashers do...the rank and file deserve to be saved)

The Oracle

mamochan13

Shared experience is what makes this board so valuable.

I know the pain of having family shun you. Mine did a blanket shun for some months when I was DFd, then came to me and told me they had read some watchtowers and realized that perhaps they didn't need to behave exactly the way they had been - I remember thinking at the time, "gee, you needed to read a watchtower before you could act with common sense and decency?" After a year of me enduring deliberate cruelty and game-playing at the hands of the elders, my mom and aunt finally said, "enough" and began to give me a little support. But the damage was already done.

funny enough, though, some years later they decided that they had sinned greiviously by not obeying the elders to the letter (even when they could clearly see that the elders were wrong), and rationalized that somehow they were losing god's spirit as a result. They concluded that a bunch of bad things that were happening were the consequence of not blindly obeying.

how do you respond to such convoluted reasoning? Your dad is likely in fear of those kinds of emotional repercussions.

Time does help, though. I do have a relationship now, on my terms, with some members of my family, so I hope the same will happen for you, Nate.

nomoreguilt

Although I left the org by fading, I had been df'd at times. I knew what it was like to be a non-person and I made a VOW!!!! that I would NEVER treat anyone like that IN MY LIFE. My younger son got df'd and I told him it didn't matter to me HE WAS STILL MY SON !!!!!! Love is UNCONDITIONAL.

Nate, life is better on the other side of that crap. Take care.

NMG

worldtraveller

A JC meeting. Funny that the initials represent Jesus Christ. Tell your dad that JC will forgive everyone for our sins- -even him.

My parents were messed up so bad I put years of distance between myself and them.

Ask him one day why he chose a real estate company as opposed to his own flesh and blood? Ask him what Jesus would think about shunning.

AGuest

May you have peace!

I was very glad to see Sweetstuff's comment... and to know that that's what you are truly about anyway. It validates your statement that you truly "pity" your father.

May I suggest, to you and all here who have experienced similar: do NOT be angry at your loved ones for disregarding, disowing and/or shunning you. Indeed, your stint in the WTBTS should have prepared you for that. Rather, FORGIVE them... NOW... before they ever ask you to, IF indeed ever do (there are truly some "die hards" out there!) Because we all know that they are only doing what they, in their limited ability, THINK they should be doing... because of what others [WHO [SHOULD] KNOW BETTER] have told them. In addition, do not be angry at these latter, either, the false prophets and false christs, but forgive them, as well.

Do so, first, for your own peace of mind. Harboring anger and carrying grudges, for whatever reason... can kill you. Physically... and spiritually. Do so ALSO so that YOU are not a hypocrite. ALL of us, you, me... we... at one point or another, have done "wrong" unto someone else, whether knowingly or unknowingly. And all of us have thought, if not said, some unkind, unloving, thing about, if not to, someone else, even someone we "love." Certainly, if you were a JW you did so, if nothing more than by means of your very association with that group... and, thus, by default, concurrence... if not actual conduct... with their teachings of "hate" against those not "like" them.

Finally, do so (forgive them all)... for as my Lord is recorded to have said, TRULY, "they do NOT know what they do." They are blind and ignorant, and so you cannot claim to love... and yet hold them responsible... anymore than you can claim to love a child... and then hold it responsible when it acts out of total ignorance. As some have pointed out, it may actually be YOUR task... to teach HIM... by means of YOUR love. Walk... the talk.

If you MUST be angry, however, be angry at the "god" served by the false prophets and false christs who have misled your father. For it is his KNOWING exploitation of what is IN your father and those like them, and which was once in ALL of us, in some form or another, that is at the root of this lack of love.

Love is not something we come into this world having - it is something we learn... from various sources and in various ways... and to various extents... if at all. We ALL... lack it, initially. Your father is simple one of many who "have a FORM of godly devotion, but prove FALSE to its POWER (of love)."

Do not, therefore, allow yourself to become "like" him... and them: one who speaks of love but proves false to its power.

May the undeserved kindness and mercy of my God and Father, the Most Holy One of Israel, whose name is JAH of Armies... and the PEACE of His Son and Christ, my Lord, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH, whose peace is not as the "world" gives it... but as a fruit of God's holy spirit... be upon you, if you so wish it.

Your servant and a slave of Christ,

SA

dawg

And what does their holy book say about love........has he ever read and applied that to his own life in terms not outlined by the fools at Bethel?

Sorry Bro, I know first hand how it feels, my first family shunnning happened when I was 25 and disfellowshipped for fornication... hell, she was too hot not to fornicate with, I bet all the elders that Df'ed me would have fornicated with her if they could. LOL

But this time it's for "apostacy" I'm a dirty rotten apostate who has the balls to say the GB are full of crap, and I have the facts to prove it. And what's worse, I won't back down... so, my family takes up for absolute fools, I mean men so damn stupid they've predicted the end of the world several times, mansion builders, and calls me a fornicator, even though I'm not presently fornicating. Takes for these idiots they've never met and calls me sinful.... WTF?

Oh, by the way... I am interested in fornication though, so if you guys know some ladies willing to fornicate, have them PM me.

Yesterday my father informed me that he will shun me...

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