My story: "Pop!" goes the Little Circuit Breaker

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land 115 Replies latest jw friends

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  GoddessRachel

  I also want to say that your sister is so strong and I'm so glad she was able to talk about her experiences. Her letter made me cry the most, but it could have also been the culmination of reading your entire story in one sitting. TJ, there are no words. Just, THANK YOU. Be good to your siblings. You have each other. Don't forget that you have each other.

  Someone else asked this too: I'm wondering how your mother is. Your real mother. Have you had further contact with her? Also, have you read Bryan's book, Have You Seen My Mother? If not, read it. You two have been through many similar experiences.

  You were one of the true JW's. Despite all the horrifying things your parents put you through, even when you had no food, no job, no roof over your head, you were still going to meetings and pioneering! You are so genuine, you took to heart all that the JW religion pretends to embrace. I just wanted to say that too. Be proud of how faithful you have always been. Don't ever let someone take that away from you, or let your memory of that waver.

  Rachel
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  Eyes Open

  I am amazed. Truly amazed at the strength you have, TJ.

  As someone who hasn't experienced anything like any of that, I can't understand. But your continual victory over your previous circumstances shows me the human mind has such a great ability to heal and grow, and that is very encouraging. Thank you for allowing us to read.
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  Tara

  (((((((((TJ)))))))))), what a sad and horrifying story. I am so sorry you had to grow up enduring that horrific abuse. I am wondering how you survived it at all, let alone grew up to be a wonderful man, husband, and father. I hope, as someone else has already said, that telling your story here has somehow contributed to your healing. I shudder to think the psychologist is right in thinking there is something else that you have blocked out. I certainly hope not. I am also sorry for your brothers and sisters. I am glad you have each other and hope they all get out of the organization, if there are any still in. I was wondering what happened to your real mom, too.
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  DanTheMan

  Thanks for sharing your story TJ, I'm very sorry for all that you've had to go through but judging from your writing I'd say that you're an example of the paradox that sometimes the people who have gone through the most terrible shit are the people who shine brightest, that is if they're ever able to get it sorted out.
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  TJ - iAmCleared2Land

  Once again, ((hugs)) to you all... we'll all survive this... we HAVE survived this....
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  dinah

  TJ,

  Your story just showed me I have nothing to whine about. Your inner strength is an inspiration.
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  freedomfighter

  Faaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkk!

  FF
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  mouthy

  Thank you so much for sharing a very upsetting life story>Thanks, Changeling... publish how? Youmean write a book? <<<<<< YOU SAID
  I do agree with Changeling. It needs to be sHared with the world. How! in the midst of a mind controlling religions things can go on behind closed doors, Like Jones Town, & Koresh. WT
  I can quite understand that you dont believe in a loving Creator. I doubt I would under those circumstances .I have had a hard life , but not as unloving by parents as you suffered
  I do believe in a Creator. But we all come to differant conclusions after we have been through religious torture.

  Thank you again...... May you find what your seeking for> COMPLETE PEACE,>LOVE! & I hope a relationship with MY GOD> Jesus Christ

  Granny Mouthy Grace
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  mama1119

  I haven't commented on this site for almost a year, in fact I only come on every couple of months or so and do a little reading...but this story moved me so much, I had to come out of "retitrement". I cannot believe what you have been through, TJ. It is just amazing you were able to endure, and come out on the other side, of such a cruel upbringing. I know there is sooo many other kids living what you went through, and my heart breaks for them, and you. I cannot imagine what you must have felt as a child, I cannot imagine. I look at my sweet, innocent children, and it makes me sick to think other babies, just as sweet and innocent, are going through this kind of thing. And all the while, thinking its their fault, wishing they could change themselves, so they could please their cruel parents. Thank you for sharing your moving story, it was very brave of you. And, so brave of your sister, to come out with all the horrible things that happened to her. Best of wishes to you and your family!
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  mamochan13

  thank you for sharing your story, TJ. I've counselled many survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and one of our "true-isms" is that sexual abuse rarely occurs in a vacuum - there is almost always other abuse and other children involved. For many, telling the story is an important first step towards healing. I'm glad to hear you are having some success with professional counselling.

  Another common factor is that there is often a pervasive religious component involved. High control cults really do seem to provide fertile ground for this kind of abuse, and some individuals who are extremely active in the cult/religion create their own version of reality in which they can justify all kinds of horrible behaviour. the JW disfellowshipping attitude does affect how parents interact with their children - the notion that it's acceptable to punish a child by removing them from the family. It makes me sick now to realize that I used to subscribe to that twisted thinking.

  I find it interesting that both of the "parents" (I use that term loosely) involved here are now claiming to be part of the anointed. I've often wondered whether people who suddenly become anointed are actually experiencing some form of mental illness. Certainly the patterns of behaviour these people inflicted on you and your siblings does not provide evidence of mental wellness.

  In spite of what they have tried to make you believe, TJ, you did nothing to merit the abuse they inflicted. My thoughts are with you on your journey toward healing. You've already demonstrated incredible strength.