Wilma & Willy Watchtower, the continuing parody (please add to it if you li

by Cheetos 60 Replies latest jw friends

  • Trevanian
    Trevanian

    Wilma picks up the phone.

    "The Watchtower home, good evening."

    The voice on the other end is small, quite vulnerable.

    "Sister Watchtower? This is Janet speaking. Janet from yesterday."

    Wilma feels instantly cold, and draws her dressing gown more tightly around herself.

    "Yes Janet, how can I help you?"

    "Sister Wilma, please may I speak to Brother Watchtower?"

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    WHAT? You want to speak to my husband?!

    Janet, what could you possibly want to speak to him about?

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    [Wilma hears a beep] ... look Janet, I've got to go. There's someone else on the line. It's probably the elders calling about our JC meeting that YOU CAUSED!

    [Wilma answers next call]

    Hello? .....

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    Sister Watchtower, this is Brother Boring your book study conductor. I'm tallying the field service for this month and realized your report slip is outstanding. And by that I don't mean impressive ... it's missing. Would you give me your hours please.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Wilma: "Hold on, Brother Boring." Wilma presses the button to go back to the first caller.
    The words she says, she thinks are going to Janet. In reality, she still had Brother Boring
    on the line.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Wilma to the person on the phone:

    This is going to sound a bit forward, dear. I have seen how you tease my husband.
    What do you say to a little menage a trois with me and him?

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    Er... erm ... Sister Watchtower? Brother Boring here ... forget about that field service slip, I'll be right over! Should I bring along anything?

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    [Wilma turns beet red]

    Oh no! Brother Boring I didn't realize you were still on the line ...you see, there was another call ... I thought I was speaking with Janet ....

    [Brother Boring interrupts]

    That's absolutely fine! Janet can join in as well, I don't mind!

    Just then, Brother Watchtower walks in the room ....

  • Cheetos
    Cheetos

    (Narrator: Mean while back at the oasis namely the home of Willy an Wilma Watchtower. Willy and Wilma are emotionally preparing for the judicial committee that is being formed concerning their activities the past day, incidentally the circuit overseer is visiting a near by congregation and has been asked to set in on their "circle jerk" committee meeting.)

    Janet calls Wilma on the phone: Ring ring ... Hello Wilma says: Janet replys to her sobbing: Oh Wilma I am so sorry but I had confirmation that some of your elders from your kingdom hall seen us at "Jack & Jill's" sex toy shop, and the red haired wig you had on for disguise did not work with them apparently, boy I am glad I am immune to their judicial bullshit cause of not being baptized and saying yes to their question concerning the society.

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    Who's that on the phone Wilma? ......[asks Wally]

    [Wilma answers]... It's erm .... uh ... Sister Boring calling about the talk we have next week! We're making arrangements to practice.

    Which talk is it? ... [Wally asks, knowing fully well she's lying]...

    [Wilma Answers] ... You remember, it's the one on ...

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