Its the one on being ready to obey" and not running ahead of the society," yes our dear faithful and discreet slave class, they are so discreet in all they do. So, do come over to my house and we can prepare together and we can have a few nips of Baileys Irish Cream in our coffee, if we our are very discreet and maintain afterwords I will raid Willys stash box and get some of his real earthy good chronic and we can smoke a bowel just before the ministry school, and I am sure brother overseer will give us an A on our talk it will make us so relaxed.
Wilma & Willy Watchtower, the continuing parody (please add to it if you li
by Cheetos 60 Replies latest jw friends
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Trevanian
Willy draws his wife close to him, and whispers in her ear:
"I'm so glad you're so strong in the truth, my love."
Wilma feels his hand reaching inside her pink robe and says softly:
"My husband, my head, I'm so happy you're such an upstanding member of the congregation."
Wilma pulls herself away from Willy and goes back to the phone to say a quick goodbye to Brother Boring:
"Um, see you later."
Toggles to the Janet on hold:
"Something urgent has just come up."
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stillajwexelder
Brother Boring cant handle the stress of being and elder. But he is zealous so he does not have Christmas Egg nog but goes to the booze cabinet for his old friend Jim Beam instead because that is not a pagan drink
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brinjen
He down the first glass, then another, then a few more. Pretty soon the bottle that was nearly full is now nearly empty.
Next thing, there is a knock at the door, Willy stumbles to the door and answers it, standing there is Brother Boring...
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Frequent_Fader_Miles
... good old Brother Boring ... drunk as a fish, staggering with a pile of bound volumes in his arms.
"Brother Hounder asked me to drop these off." [his speech is notably slurred]
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Frequent_Fader_Miles
[Wilma says]
Must you do this now? It's the day before Christmas ... well, I know we don't celebrate Christmas, but ...
[Brother Boring butts in]
Forget Christmas! What about the menage a trois you promised on the phone, it's still on right?
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Abandoned
"Menage a trois on the phone? Oh you mean when your mom listens in on our conversation?"
"Yeah, sorry about that, but you know how she is on non-meeting days."
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Trevanian
Willy hears Wilma and Brother Boring bantering near the front door, but he's not really listening. He stumbles over to the fireplace, sits down a bit too firmly on his lay-z-boy reclining chair right in front of it, and watches the receding flames, mesmerised.
He looks around for something to stoke the fire with on this icy cold Christmas Eve. He reaches for the bottle of Jim Beam, splashes some onto the fading fire, and watches the brief flash of new light before the fire starts to fade even more quickly.
His dark-blue and light-blue striped bathrobe is barely keeping him warm, a bit like Wilma these days actually, he thinks. "My cold fish of a wife."
"This isn't right!" Willy exclaims under his breath. He reaches over to the bound volumes on the coffee table and starts to tear out a few pages at a time, crunching them in his hands before throwing them as kindling onto the quickly dying fire.
He rips the pages, faster and faster, as the light gets brighter. Soon Awake Volumes 1974 thru to 1985 are in flames, and he slowly starts to feel warmer as the flames begin leaping again.
Wilma turns to wach the fire dancing brightly now, looks back to Brother Boring, and says, "You know what? Come inside, Brother. It's cold outside."
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brinjen
Brother Boring steps inside, sees the hollowed out Awake covers and instantly turns red with rage. Then he sees the warm fire and the light that's very, very bright. Instantly, his rage subsides...
"Want me to bring you my Craptower and Asleep volumes?" he asks. "We could all have a bonfire tonight."
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Frequent_Fader_Miles
Wilma answers ... that's not a bad idea at all Brother Boring.
I really shouldn't be discussing this, but right now I'm so worried about our upcoming JC meeting. My dear husband tripped over someone's Santa Claus in the driveway a couple days ago, and Brother Hounder insists it's a disfellowhsipping offense.
You mean the life-sized Santa round the corner? [asks Brother Boring]
Yes ... of course. Why do you ask? [Wilma replies]
But Sister Watchtower, Brother Hounder was the one who installed that darn thing!
WHAT? Are you serious? [interjects Wally] .......