For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess 236 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mincan
    Mincan
    That is so very, very true. I threw my meeting clothes out for the same reason. Will never dress that way again. Hi five sweetstuff!

    Interestingly enough, I used to love dressing in suits, I do actually find them quite comfortable. My style used to be dark 70s style blazers (like houndstooth design or something) and usually light coloured pants. I used to wear any kind of tie I wanted. I never cared if I looked eccentric, I was doing so to purposely keep people away from me or give them a false impression of who I was. By Athena! How interesting it is to psychoanalyse oneself.

    Now I always ask if it's an event that requires formal attire, if the answer is affirmative, I usually groan and sigh. Thinking to myself "what a bunch of pompous Aholes". I sometimes slip into that view that suits are just elitist crap. Hope I get over that, there is nothing inherently wrong with a suit, although there are some comical features, such as the oft-mentioned tying a noose around one's neck in the morning seems silly, etc.

    to be patronized by a group of men who don't want to be reminded of a woman's sexuality or freedom of expression due to their lack of self control. I burned all my jw clothes a long time ago, good riddance to subjection to dictatorship.

    I really truly detest the fear of a female's sexuality. We are sexual beings, people need to learn to cope with that and at the same time cope with civilisation and it's effects on human psychology.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Case in point?

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    What does Jack have to do with this discussion, WLG?

    Sometimes I don't get you.

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke
    Why don't you work on growing a set and acting with a bit of maturity instead of throwing stereotypes about women around like you do your blow up doll, er "wife". Don't hate the messenger k?

    I was thinking long and hard about this thread. It seems that when people touch a nerve inside of us that borders on how we are percieved and how we perceive ourselves it invokes a raging fire. Sweetstuff? I dont see where the call for maturity and a subsequent attack on this posters wife has anything to do with each other. It bothered me.

    I don't profess to know what you were thinking in your photo but I'm a man. I'm motivated by what I see. Its just a part of my biology. I noticed it. I noticed your cleavage and I moved on. I'm not going to apologize for how I'm wired. I see an attractive woman, I look. She could be wearing a moo moo. I don't care. Attractive women draw my attention. Interesting looking women draw my attention. Women who are out "looking for attention" or dressed provocatively get my full eye contact. The reason for this is I'm not interested. I don't want to be with a woman who wants to show me all of her goodies before I know her name. I just don't.

    I found it startling that so many assumptions were instantly generated by it regarding personal motives and character. I find this sort of thing happens a lot in more intimate personal relationships, to no one's benefit. Empassioned assumptions, a rush to judgment. It is better, I think, to question first, to contemplate, to tease the matter out a bit.

    I have to agree. The way this thread was "dressed" is in bad form in my opinion. It could have been more modest, more tasteful and we would have seen the soul of it and not the whorish manner it came out of the house. Maybe we could have gotten to know the personality, seen the smile and judged the character before we saw it begging for our attention.

    So, I for my part, won't ever dress like a grandma again, to be patronized by a group of men who don't want to be reminded of a woman's sexuality or freedom of expression due to their lack of self control. I burned all my jw clothes a long time ago, good riddance to subjection to dictatorship.

    And more power to you. Don't get mad though when I notice you. I'm not going to oggle you because I have self control. But I am going to look. The thing is, men are made to be responsible for their actions and how those actions affect others. Motives for why you wear something are unimportant. No one has the right to tell you to do anything unless it affects their freedoms. So hell, as long as you are not my daughter, wear whatever you want. No man has the right to make you feel less than human, less than womanly or less than free based on anything that you wear. The right he does have though is to judge you in his own mind however he wants. That is his right. He doesnt have the right to say it, or touch you or make you feel bad, but he can think whatever he wants.

    I want kids. I want a daughter. I want her to look up to me like her superman. I want the men she surrounds herself with to be worthy of her. I don't want them to be there because she's got some 'nice titties' or because she has a 'bangin ass'. I want them to respect her and admire her. The only way I know how to do that is to emphasize to her that the world is imperfect and unfair. Men who have power and women who have power will judge and critisize her and make judgements based on how she dresses and how she carries herself. It isn't fair. But its the way of the world.

    I have tattoos and they are all hidden because people will judge me on this. I have long hair so I have to almost always be dressed more professionally than everyone around me so that I can draw attention to the man and not what the man looks like so that my points can be heard. You have nice breasts. You have a nice behind. You have some amazing hips and your thighs make me think bad things. That is the way I am. For the sake of equality and correctness, I'm trying my best to control it. But that is the way I am. I'm going to notice. But I'm not going to tell you that I did or make you feel objectified. But I'm going to think bad things. Really, really bad things.

    On the flip side, if I see a fit, well toned man in a tight shirt I think to myself, "Damn. That is a good looking dude. I wonder if he's got a money maker (you know what I'm talking about). How did he get like that? Is it his diet? Genetics? Damn!" Thats just how I am.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy
    Sometimes I don't get you.

    There's alot of that going around.

  • Mincan
    Mincan
    So hell, as long as you are not my daughter, wear whatever you want. No man has the right to make you feel less than human, less than womanly or less than free based on anything that you wear.

    The first sentence contradicts the one following it.

    (True freedom is the freedom to fail)

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk
    Sometimes I don't get you.
    There's alot of that going around.

    Awwwwwwww. C'mon.

    I was trying to be funny.

    I got you loud and clear.

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke

    So what if a really fat man dresses in a dirty t shirt that accentuates his oversized hairy belly, burps, scratches and has trouble keeping his pants up. Do you judge him? I mean do you have the right to? He is dressed that way for him, not for you to judge.

    Do you cross the street when you see 2 muscular black men dressed "thugishly"?

    I mean seriously. You can't have your "Don't judge me, I'm an empowered woman" cake and eat it too.

    Respect? Sure. Always. But let it cut both ways.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Awwwwwwww. C'mon.

    I was trying to be funny.

    Me too. It's a contest.

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke

    Oh, one more thing,

    Sweetstuff? You can't tell me that that picture of you doesn't have a flirty look to it. Get real. It isn't your ample and nice bossom hanging out. Its the flirty look on your face. It isn't down to character either. I think you are an intelligent, clever woman. I think that speaks louder than your avatar. But if that was all I knew about you, I'd say, 'There is a woman in her mid thirties who has a child, a failed relationship and some baggage who is trying to get my attention.' And I'd be wrong. But that is the snap judgement I'd make. Why? Because I'm human and the way you look in the picture fits into a category in my head based on my past experiences. Again. I'd be totally wrong. But that is my judgement.

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