Hi everybody, my name is Julie, and this is my first post.
I'm a third generation JW, or at least I was until a two weeks ago, when I was announced as no longer a JW. I'm really happy about that, ecstatic in fact, although I'd been a JW all my life, and I'm 37 now. I could have disassociated like my friends, but I couldn't be bothered to play their chikdish game, so I let them do it for me.
I'm not 100% sure why I was df'd, it could have been a few things - I have a "worldly" boyfriend, so it could have been fornication, or apostasy, when the gang of two (PO and Service Overseer - those two spend so much time together I sometimes think that they married each other as well as their wives) turned up to see me, I was with my bf, and told them I live with him now, I had a copy of Crisis of Conscience visible, which I advised them to read, but they didn't seem keen, and I lit a cigarette as they were leaving, which they saw, so it could have been any of those things, are maybe they were annoyed when I didn't turn up for their kangaroo court and answer probing questions about my sex life - I know they were looking forward to that!
Whatever, they came back just over a fortnight ago to tell me that I was being df'd, and could appeal. I think the look on my face told them that I wasn't going to bother, and if that didn't do it, me saying "I don't believe in that shit anymore" would have.
As I said, I was brought up in the JWs, and did what was expected of me most of the time. I was baptised at 13, not really sure of what I was doing, but knowing I was pleasing my parents. I left school at 16 and started pioneering straight away, again because it was expected, I can't say I really wanted to do it. I stuck that for 7 years, and (gasp) had my first independent thought when I quit pioneering. My excuse was ill health, and I said I'd go back to it when I'd recovered because I loved it. I looked sufficiently distressed at having to stop pioneering, but it was all an act, I hated it really, and had no intention of ever going back on. I was sick of having no money, I'd had a driving license for 4 years and couldn'tafford a car, I couldn't afford holidays or nice clothes, and I wanted those things, so materialistic of me lol. I also took some evening classes, which got the gang of 3 (PO,SO, Secretary) on my case, but I got away with it by saying I wasn't up to physical work, I'd been a cleaner up to then, and needed qualifications to get a better job. I got the job, full time though, which conveniently stopped me from pioneering, and I'm still there, 12 years later.
I never totally liked being a JW, I was just doing what was expected of me, and so at the start of this year there I was, 36 years of age, still a virgin (very frustrating) and not overly happy, when I met my bf at a friend's wedding. He's never been a jw, lucky him, and I don't know how he puts up with me, but he does, though his friend Trev told him what to expect. It's been quite an experience for him, but he seems to be managing ok, though I think he has a few more grey hairs than he had when we met.
I haven't been to a meeting since February, and haven't missed it. I've gained so much from being with Gareth, and lost something as well (no prizes for guessing what that was, see paragraph above). My parents still speak to me, just about, but my brothers don't. My younger sister was df'd as a teenager and never went back, so she's happy for me. I still have issues with the Watchtower of course, it's not a pleasant discovery knowing you've been fooled, but I'll get over them in time. I don't blame my parents or any other witnesses for that, they were as deceived as me. IThey were born in deceit, grew up in deceit, and will probably die in deceit. After reading Crisis of Conscience though, I do blame the Governing Body. I knew that they were deliberately deceiving all their members by the time I was half way through the book. Trev calls them snake oil salesmen, and after looking up what that means, I'd have to agree with them, I think they must eat it for breakfast.
Well, that's my story, and I'm really happy to be here. I'm a friend of Trev (dedpoet) and Marion (iamfreenow), and Linda was my best friend. I will miss her so much, when I was first fading, talking to Trev, Linda and Marion was all the JW talk I needed, but now I feel a need to connect with others who knew Linda on this forum, so herr I am
Julie