gettinjg my fiance out

by TheGreyGuardsman 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TheGreyGuardsman

    SIGH firstly I am a jw! i believe darn near everything cept for the idolatry which is by our own standards that we qualify and i believe what we teach about reading it as the final authority, and i RESPECT HER BELIEFS THEYRE MINE but the same ones which werent mine arent hers and she needs to understand the manipulation engaged,if its he rbeliefs i respect obviously werent a witness because most of our beliefs arent ours they are borrowed,though most are true.and i told her many times i disagree with ceratin things,and she agrees with me,i told u that,today i told her she should write a letter to her dffed brother trying to tell him what hes doing with his life (he left everything and is going down hill on the road to jail her father wants her to tel him somethin but she wont due to policy) after we read Jesus condemnation fo the pharasees how he called them hypocrites she agreed,i never keep secrets and did u read all of my posts? i tell her openly all the time and she agress and the beliefs arent hers i agree with all the major beliefs she has never made sure of all things as her won beliefs feel sorry for done.

  • TheGreyGuardsman

    and im getting married we met on very odd terms, i saved her and she saved me....and ill die for her,in her place eternally or temporarily,but i only want her to think for herself and read the bible free enjoying Gods love as children of his. As i said im a witness,intend to stay one, but we arent even taught to study THE BIBLE ourselves we dont know how to use a concordance know anything of hermeneutics or interpretation or anything fo the sort,i do love her, THAT is why i want to make her strong,not for my will,not for the societys,but for her own and Gods will,if she understnds something different than me and can eplain it and isnt repeating the wt ill love it,i intend to stay a witness but just want to help her expand herself and grow. while i was typing this,this is an edit,she told me something,now i have nothing to worry about,i knew i idnt realy before,but just was worrying becaus ei love her so much.. :-D everythig is gonna be fine,thanks guys ill look into that book on how to think looksgood thanks guys.

  • Sarah Smiles
    Sarah Smiles

    Okay Grey, If you want to open her mind some and you are a JW. Perhaps you need to start with having fun with scriptures. I hope you and your future wife have a long marriage and enjoy the WTBTS which in my heart I know they are not the truth.

    Is there something that you would like to teach her that you wonder about with the JWs?

  • orbison11

    "and btw i am a jw and a servant" and "you want her to come to god,,,not jw's" am i missing something? orb

  • LoverOfTruth

    It seems to me you have issues about control. With that said, it makes sense to at least postpone the wedding until you're both clear with each other's feelings and beliefs. I learned long ago I can't control others.

  • Abaddon


    Im a witness and i actually want to stay one,

    Oh really? Could you please post a scan of the letter from Bethel authorising you to go against the rules set for JW's and to visit apostate websites? At the same time please post a scan of your super-fine apostle certificate so we can be sure our 'wicked vibes' will not stumble you.

    but i want to get her out in that i want to free her mind so that she is no longer mind controlled, because she definitely is.

    And you are not? You are already judging us by what you have been taught at meetings and try to convince us you're not controlled and have a free mind.

    i want to be able to think along with her and come to bilbe based not coherced conclusions.

    What if you teach her to think freely (how I don't know as you;d need to know how yourself and seem very trapped and conflicted) and she decides the Bible is inaccurate and not god's inspired word? Do you love her enough for her to think differently to you?

    and as for that you have to respect her beliefs no matter what they are,that liberal remark makes me sick.

    See? You don't need us; you already know everything. And have already, despite carping on about wanting to free her mind, decided what she should believe. You are committing the same 'crimes' as those you condemn.

    and i would and her beliefs are for the most part mine, save for the overt adoration of men

    YOU are following YOUR own opinions. Have you not replaced adoration of the Organization with adoration of yourself? You can't bring freedom if all you bring is a new boss, same as the old boss.

    and btw i am a jw and a servant,

    And knowingly associate with apostates, which means if this was known you wouldn't be a servant and would unlikely still be a JW. So in reality, although the congregation don't know, we know and you know that you are acting as no JW should and as no servant should according to the rules JW's set.

    You excuse this by saying they are man made rules, and you are right, but all you have is your own rules to replace them with, and just as YOU would be condemned for coming here, you condemn us for being here by your attitude towards us.

    I think you need to get off your high horse and start being honest with yourself. You know that you knowingly associate with a religious group that is wrong and keep activities that would have you removed from that group secret. You have recognized that the JW's are a man-made religion, but whilst acting like an outlaw JW yourself treat us with the same contempt a normal JW would.

    I openly disagree about many things

    Tom the Elders? No you don't.

    I told her if anything goes against scripture ever i will openly oppose it

    Well, JW teachings already do go against scripture, and you are NOT openly opposing it.

    so if anyone has advice on how to help her to THINK and reason ,biblically and without man as her mediator but Christ alone,let me know.

    See, you don't want her to really think freely; one side of your mouth you say you do, but at the end of the day you've already decided how you want her to think. Coming from a religion mired in hypocrisy it's not surprising you have picked up some bad habits, but surely YOU need to learn a little about free thinking and reasoning too? You don't seem to be aware how hypocritical you are being.

  • sass_my_frass

    I don't think that a JW can be told something, they can only work it out for themselves. If there's something you particularly need her to be before you get married, you shouldn't be marrying her. You marry the person as they are, not the person they have potential to be, or who you want them to be, even if you think they would be better off that way.

  • jgnat

    Well, if you are bound and determined, here's my take on it all...

    Just remember, you should not marry under false pretenses. She should know your heart and mind, and be in love with all of that. She needs to know exactly what she is getting in to. I am in a mixed marriage, I'm the non-JW half. My husband had many, many conversations about our difference in belief before we married. We both pondered the consequences if neither changed, and we both accepted that we could live and love with the other just the way we are.

    Now, that doesn't keep me from pointing out the obvious from time to time, but I despise falsehood in a marriage. Not a great way to start.

  • steve2

    You won't stand a snowflake's chance in hell of helping your fiancee sort out her beliefs until you sort your

    own out. YOur marriage would be a disaster wiatin gto happen.

    I think you are being very dishonest with your fiancee in the first instance, and with your local congregation in the second.

  • TheGreyGuardsman

    OK.....well im sorry im an idiot,forgive me,i think i came off totally wrong on here..guess i cant type crrectly...sorry.

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