gettinjg my fiance out

by TheGreyGuardsman 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TheGreyGuardsman

    any help,were getting married soon, i already taught her about savation by undeserved kindness,i wanna open her mind to think before i get into any witness particular errors,i have on my site an article about idolatry i may statrt her with that so she will understand the wt gets things wrong and isnt inspired,any advice, can you email it because i rarely check this board [email protected]

  • jgnat

    If you were a rabid-non smoker, would you get married to a chain smoker on the hopes you could convert her before the wedding day? It's not enough to "educate" your partner. You have to respect her beliefs no matter where they may lead. You are not ready to get married.

  • greendawn

    They have been talking about the coming of the end of this world since 1880 that is nearly 130 years, they got peope to make big changes in their life objectives and sacrifices for a hope that never materialised. They never apologised to anyone for this deception and indeed they are doing their best to carry it on.

  • Abaddon

    Listen, I think it might actually be a "deserved kindness" to her if you stop trying to convert her to YOUR brand of belief.

    Instead of thinking about converting her, why not think about helping her by equiping her with the knowledge and tools she needs to draw her own conclusions free of someone trying to tell her what they should be?

  • TheGreyGuardsman

    i wrote that title that way to get input from you all,thats all i want to do is help her to be able to think,i agree with many of the things,but some things which i dont are the very things which hurt people and effect them negatively,thjats it,everything else is alright, save for the idolatry which is offensive. Im a witness and i actually want to stay one,but i want to get her out in that i want to free her mind so that she is no longer mind controlled, because she definately is. And as for the "you are not ready to get married" please, im getting married to her and i do just want to help her mind,and theres o way i want her to think what i want,that wouldnt be any fun,i want to be able to think along with her and come to bilbe based not coherced conclusions. again the only reason i posted the heading that way is (well most of you are negative lunatics) I was going to sort through your posts and pick what seems non offensive and helps ones to "think" thats all.

  • TheGreyGuardsman

    and as for that you have to respect her beliefs no matter what they are,that liberal remark makes me sick. and i would and her beliefs are for the most part mine, save for the overt adoration of men. and it would be nice if they were just that HER BELIEFS,and not beliefs she just accept because someone else who she thinks with no evidence has god given rights to make them and impose them tells her she must believe or die. before i met her she didnt have any reasoning ability they would avoid going to harry potter because it was announced and go sit through lord of the rings ect. (not that either is bad just an example) elders in her area talk openly about movies which are objectionable (according to the wt standards save for the fact that they arent mentioned by name) many of them act as if its there religion and not their life. and btw i am a jw and a servant, i just wanna get her out in that her mind is free and we can study the bible happily together. and dont ask why i still love her because i do and my reasons are my own and i do not wish to discuss that aspect because its happening and she is my wife in both our hearts. so if anyone has advice on how to help her to THINK and reason ,biblically and without man as her mediator but Christ alone,let me know.

  • OnTheWayOut

    The best advice was already given. If you are bound and determined to get married to this person,
    you are free to do so. What you are really in need of is some reality. Scores of people here are
    struggling with the issue that their loved ones are under the mind-control of WT organization.
    Freeing someone takes time. How did you free yourself? Or did you totally free yourself?

    Work on yourself and feel free to post anything you want. Don't expect the answers to perfectly
    fit the situation of someone who wants to remain in the WT prison, but thinking for themself while
    helping another person remain in the WT prison, but thinking for themself.

    Deciding at this delicate stage to bind yourself to someone else who is captive to the concept that
    WTS is God's representative will lead to heartache and pain. You will really have to pace your help
    for your spouse over as much as years or even decades. Only you will know, eventually, how much
    independent thinking they can stand at one time. I wish you well with that.

  • TheGreyGuardsman

    alright..well thanks and i realise what could happen and im willing to risk it,and her leaving (which she wouldnt do if i told her weve been lied to and asked her to read one of the books she would but i dont want to harm her if im wrong in doing this...yes i am stil partially "captivated" as you would say)

  • ex-nj-jw
    well most of you are negative lunatics

    That's not a very nice thing to say about people you don't know, talk about judgemental! Yep you must be a JW


  • OnTheWayOut

    To be fair, I am a believer in LOVE. If you really already have your heart attached to this person
    and you are willing to go through heartache and pain, you are truly in LOVE. Wonderful.

    Your relationship, if it survives the WT training on her part to be loyal to them first, should be a
    beautiful thing if you ever get her to see what your love has meant.

    One thing the WT teaches is that you should love who a person IS, not what you hope to CHANGE
    them into. Do you love the personality as it is? If she never thinks for herself, but remains a loyal
    dub, do you see yourself loving her? If you grow away from WT teachings, can you accept that
    she won't?

    These questions determine whether you should marry her. LOVE sometimes has to set someone
    free because of the answers. I love my wife beyond words, but we were both loyal dubs at the time
    of marriage. If I thought like I do now, no matter how strong that love, I would not have married her.
    Now, after the knot is tied and my understanding of "the truth" has changed, I can continue to love
    her if she remains in the conceptual prison of WTS, but I also consider setting her free if her loyalty
    to them causes her to violate my trust to her. I hope that day never comes.

    Recommended reading to start you out would be COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL and
    RELEASING THE BONDS, both by Steve Hassan. You can find them at
    I would normally suggest other books, but I don't know that YOU are ready for them-

    A poster here named OPEN MIND also has nice threads about helping his family in the early
    stages to think critically for themselves. Search for those.

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