I have not read all the posts here, but I have three little children. My mom did not see her grand kids until 2000, when her and I reunited after she was disfellowshipped. While it was a great thing, she still does not know them, she has seen them maybe 4x. Its much better now, these things take time, but it was hard not having my mom around for all three of my pregnancies. It breaks your heart, but time heals alot of things. Even though we have a relationship again, she missed my entire 20s practically!
I just understand what you wife is going through, I grew up as an elders daughter, and with a pioneer mother, those JWs are so brainwashed and scared to think for themselves!