Friday the 11th, Andy was involved in a six car accident. His car rolled and was totaled. He usually drives my Eagle Talon, if he'd been driving it, he'd have been killed. He's been in the hospital and will get out Monday. He cannot come home, he will have to go to his parents' to recover, which will take an indefinite amount of time. He may not come back to live with us again.
This changes my whole life. I have been trying to raise two grandsons with Andy's help. Because of the accident, I am faced with possibly having to send my five year old grandson back into foster care in New England. This will make it very difficult for me to afford to keep my apartment and keep a roof over my eleven year old grandson's head.
Andy's family has decided they will not babysit the boys for me while I work. I am trying to see if I can take some kind of leave from work. I have all these dreaded decisions to make and am trying not to fall apart. I sure never dreamt I'd be maybe raising one or two kids at this age, let alone by myself.
It's heartbreaking to think I might have to give up the little one. He's come such a long, long way, though he is not the same kid he was before his severe abuse at the hands of his father. Both children want to stay with me. I just don't know if can raise them both in my financial shape, with no one to help. I don't have family here. I do have my church that helps so much, but they can't fix everything.
One good thing happened today. I was sent to work in the garden center, outside. It was so cool, pleasant and so much less stressful for me. It's the first day I wasn't crippled with worry and fear.