by Open mind 83 Replies latest members private
The poem, while incredibly sad, reflects a certain acceptance of the situation. I am happy for your brother that he found peace. I am worried that someone for whom the wound is still raw, or who has not fared as well will see the poem as a backhanded justification of the program. It isn't a "Rage against the Machine" type of poem.
All the best to you and your family in your journey Open Mind.
Thanks OM for bttt-ing this...
I read through all the posts and my 2 cents...
I have made it clear to my family and (few) friends that once I get Dfd or DA (it's inevitable) I am not putting up any wall. I am NOT going to shun them... I am happy to keep in contact with all of them... the only wall going up is completely one-sided, made by JWs and no-one else.
Of course, since I am bad association already, the shunning has begun.... no announcement necessary...
Thanks for bringing that to the mix here this morning. I've read it several times now, and am moved everytime. Seem to be in a reflective mood, and now I can finally shed some tears....
reniaa:
interesting poem :)
Care to elaborate?
Specifically, if you go back to the JWs, and one of your baptized children in their mid-twenties says they are 100%, unequivocally, gay and won't live a life of celibacy.........will you follow the Watchtower policy and shun them?
lrkr:
The poem, while incredibly sad, reflects a certain acceptance of the situation.
Excellent observation. I've mentioned this elsewhere, but I notice this piece of the picture wasn't included on this thread. My brother did "accept" the situation when it was happening. Sort of. He had struggled against his homosexuality for many years and was a poster child good JW. He thought the JWs were still "The Truth" and that he was eventually bound for Gehenna. So he put up his own bricks from his side of the wall for the first year or two. Then he gradually realized that "The Truth"......wasn't. Others in similar situations have committed suicide.
A@G:
You're in a much healthier mental position than my brother was. Good for you.
OM
It's a poem that a lot will identify with. When my family and friends started to shun me for being gay (although not dfed) I made it clear that my door was always open to them as JWs or nonJWs and that the wall was sadly theirs. Glad your brother got through it.
I gather you're still 'faking it', so what sort of contact do you have with him now?
OTWO...
Wow.... a year since you posted this? I resurrected the thead in Sept 07...I am glad you brought it back...I still have the poem book marked...and I still have the poem printed with some of my other favorites things from JWD... The poem is moving and real and personal. I took an English Lit class this past semester...learned more about poems and rhythm... that poem has a nice flow...The references to the ties, books and lips is sooooo to the point...
...especially for someone who has been the "tie, the book, the lips"..... I hate it that I ever served on a JC and judged someone. What right did I have....oh yeah..."the books" gave me the right... {{gag}}
OTWO....Where are you at in the whole JW thing? Its hard to keep track of everyone....
Snakes ()
Really beautiful. He should communicate with the man that is writing the book about DFd people and this should be in the opening section.
He is very talented.
Thanks for btt'ing this. I can't even discribe the feelings it brings back, even though it's been so many years ago.
Do you mind if I email a copy (taking no credit) to a jw relative?
thanks-shell
You're in a much healthier mental position than my brother was. Good for you.
OM,
I guess the difference with me and many who are Dfd is that I recognize the falsehood for what it is... Had I been Dfd 6 months ago or more, I would have built a wall.... in fact, I built my own wall several years ago and have not pursued friendships in the org... Many who are Dfd keep on going to meetings and try to get reinstated so they can get their lives back since its all they know...
Now that I see the farce for what it is, it has no power over me. The only difference that will happen once I am dfd is that they will lose their ability to talk to me... I will always be willing to talk to them... if they want to... if they reject me, that's their problem! I am preparing for this by establishing a life outside of JWs - exJWs and non-JWs, so that once the DF or DA hits, it will be of minimal consequence to me.... they are the ones that will cry over me, not me over them (which has already begun....my wife's friends have called her and when they find out they have cried... again, their problem if they want to reject me)
scotsman:
I gather you're still 'faking it', so what sort of contact do you have with him now?
We talk on the phone every week or two.
Here's a couple threads detailing our first reunions.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/133606/1.ashx
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/134597/1.ashx
Whenever he comes to town we'll spend a day or two together. My 95% JW-loyal wife knows this and is OK with it. She's not comfortable with joining me in my sins though.
The kids know I'm on good terms with my brother, but they understand how the JW shunning rules work. They've never met or spoken to him. If any of them express a desire to meet him, I'll make sure it happens. I'm sure it's just a matter of time. I frequently mention him in conversations where it seems natural, so their curiosity and concern must be getting aroused.
I could easily understand if my brother took a "take me or leave me" attitude all or nothing. But he hasn't. And I'm very grateful for his patience. He understands that the "awakening" process takes time and that sometimes it never happens.
(I'll reply to the others a little later. Gotta pay the bills.)
OM
