My self-worth does not actually depend on another poster's opinion of me.

by Frannie Banannie 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    I've been trashed and bullied by one poster for posting info off the internet that I was offering to someone in need of hope. I began a thread on the subject of whether it is right or wrong to offer hope to someone in desperate circumstances in order that the poster could see that theirs wasn't the only opinion of any value. While most who responded were in agreement with the validity of being encouraging and offering hopeful info that can be looked into or not, it's the viewer's choice, that poster has continued his bullying, stating that I'm mentally, literally incompetent, basically stupid and irresponsible, though I'm so incompetent that I shouldn't be actually held accountable for my well-meant ignorance. He also stated that I should be thoroughly ashamed and disgusted with myself.

    I just wonder if holding his bullying of another poster under the same microscope will make him feel as superior as his self-righteous bullying makes him feel. I thought I left that type of crappy treatment behind when I left the WTS.

    Yes, I did the drama queen thingie, not because I really feel that way, but because that's what he wants. I thought I'd allow him to see that he could really hurt someone with his bullying. That's what bullies do. They strive to make themselves appear to be SO superior while trashing someone else's self esteem....or at least attempting to without a care for the person's feelings that they're bullying.

    I'm not made of styrofoam. I'm not so fragile that my whole concept of my personal value hinges on one other person's opinion. And I've been taken a whack at by people far superior to the bully in this case.

    I AM a caring person. If I post something that offends you, don't frickin' read it, k? You have a brain. You're an adult. Free to make your own choices about what you wish to dismiss or take advantage of, info wise.

    As far as my mental competence, I'm bipolar. This actually means that I mentally fly by the seat of my pants, however what I profer usually turns out to be valid and can be backed up in most cases. Being bipolar also guarantees that most of the time, my brain cells are rolling on all four wheels with no flat tires in sight.

    As for my literacy, while I may not have a formal education, I do have a degree of intelligence.

    I am not ashamed of who and what I am, nor of what I do. I am a human being.

    I don't believe it's wrong to offer hope to someone in need of it. That's what we do when we are encouraging and sending others our best wishes, thoughts and prayers, isn't it? Giving them hope? They have the freedom to accept or deny it. I believe they're intelligent and competent enough in their own right to decide for themselves whether something is good or bad for them.

    Bullying is bad. I reject it. It's mean. If I bullied someone, I would THEN be ashamed and disgusted with myself.

    Frannie

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    You're cool Frannie. JWD would not be the same without you.

    Nvr

  • prophecor
    prophecor
    I'm bipolar. This actually means that I mentally fly by the seat of my pants, however what I profer usually turns out to be valid and can be backed up in most cases. Being bipolar also guarantees that most of the time, my brain cells are rolling on all four wheels with no flat tires in sight.

    Well I've never quite heard it put like that before, but that's truly one to remember. I thought there was something wrong with me, now I see myself in a totally different light, thanks to you Frannie. It's wonderful to be a part of the fold.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    (((Frannie)))

    I'm not around much anymore so I don't pretend to have a clue about what's going on. I will share with you that, from my experience online these past 5 years, when I post something I brace myself with the expectation that it will be received badly and picked apart. And I've posted some pretty intense and personal details about my life.

    Funny thing is I've never been critised for things I was expecting. I have been barbecued (and I mean with flames) over things I would never have dreamed of. For example, I let my (then) 9 year old daughter post once about something she found funny. One poster didn't realise the post was from a 9 year old girl and tore into her for her grammar. I was lit up, on another board, for several pages about what a horrible parent I was for exposing my child to the evil Internet.

    What I've learned is that when you throw something out here, literally anyone can respond with any sort of inane/stupid/asinine/cruel/mean-spirited reaction. I say this, not at all to defend or excuse someone's cruel behavior toward you. There was a time I not only took a dim view of such people but I could bloody well do something about it on this board. I've very little tolerance toward folks who lash out indiscrimintely just because they feel like they can.

    I'm very sorry for what happened to you. Those of us who know you and have come to appreciate what you bring to this board know that anyone who would talk to you in this manner is a fucking (excuse me) idiot. You are a valued and important part of this community. I want you to know that. And if it means anyting, I really liked you a lot 30+ years ago when we were both in the White Rock congregation (geez has it been that long!). You're a real sweetie with a big heart.

    Chris

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    (((((HUGS)))))

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Frannie, you are one cool lady.

    Along with Chris, I can say that I've been fried like a toad on the road, just for being me, with all my foibles and stupidities.

    But I've also met a bunch of really caring people, and learned a lot about myself.

    All said and done, I'd do it again.

    However, anger can be therapeutic.

    Craig

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    ((((((nvr))))) You are such a sweetie patootie!

    Well I've never quite heard it put like that before, but that's truly one to remember. I thought there was something wrong with me, now I see myself in a totally different light, thanks to you Frannie. It's wonderful to be a part of the fold.

    LOL, Proph! Have you ever seen a scan of the brain activity of someone with bipolar disorder? It looks like a three-ring circus of activity in there!

    (((((BT))))) Now THAT makes me wanna Ya big lug!

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Stilla, ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) backatchya, chere!

    Along with Chris, I can say that I've been fried like a toad on the road, just for being me, with all my foibles and stupidities.

    But I've also met a bunch of really caring people, and learned a lot about myself.

    All said and done, I'd do it again.

    However, anger can be therapeutic.

    LOL! re: "fried like a toad on the road." Yeppers, we all pull our pants on one leg atta time, don't we? I know what you mean, about the caring people and learning a lot about ourselves. And YESSSSSS! Anger can be very therapeutic. (I'd give ya a smooch, but Kate'd have my nads if I had some.)

    Frannie

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    (((((BT))))) Now THAT makes me wanna Ya big lug!

    How 'bout ya do that over some crawfish in a couple of months?

    We can talk about the old days as well as the new days.

    Chris

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    I'll get back to you on that in a PM, Chris. Thanks!

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