I've given up.

by Abandoned 61 Replies latest members private

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  JWdaughter

  Not positive, but i think some of what Tom is dealing with is related to a acrimonious divorce with a JW woman, and divorce that is helped along by the JWs is frequently financially and emotionally crippling to the opposer/Non JW, simply because they get kind of ganged up on by the JWs financially and emotionally. I could be off and remembering things wrong. There are others here who have had such experience.
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  kerj2leev

  Jgnat...I agree with your position. A person will be more successful if they have the proper mindset and expection going into a situation

  I totally agree, I was talking more about the timing of the situation not the advise!

  If a person finds out they have cancer, would you the very day they found out, start talking about all the difficullties they will have to experience???
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  greendawn

  About going abroad it may not be as easy as you imagine, eg where will you be staying how much will that cost? The only way to avoid these expenses is to live like a hippie or rather their modern equivalent in the woods or other quiet places. They visit cities and do some artistic numbers to earn money for food etc On my travels I saw such people moving in groups they absolutely hate living in a city and the exploitation that comes from it, to them it is a meaningless existence. The only problem is that many use marijuana but otherwise they are peaceful and friendly.
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  Abandoned

  Well, I ran into some obstacles today. I did call in sick though. Both jobs today and tomorrow. I went to the social security office, but I make too much to qualify for disability. I did tell the lady that I couldn't keep up the pace I'm going though so she did give me a packet. Then I went to the mental health place to set up an appointment, but apparently they close early on fridays. I went to the legal assistance place and I filled out the form but I can't turn it in since I don't have anything that verifies my mom's income.

  I want to focus on the positive, but it's hard. I've recieved a lot of wonderful comments and PM from people here. I just feel so vulnerable and I don't feel that I have any source of protection. This really is going to damage me in a literal, physical sense and it's all so stupid. Why would a hospital that treated you for a suicide attempt put so much pressure on you that the option begins to look like realistic again?

  As for why I blame the JW for this, it has to do with the "pattern of healthful teachings" they instilled into my brain. They convinced me that I had to get out of the army in 1988 as soon as possible and do that by a conscientious objector application to prove that I was on god's side. This was especially necessary since armageddon was just around the corner and who knows how angry god would be with me if I delayed. Doing so, however, I gave up the thirty thousand dollars I'd earned toward college. I was taught it was a good thing to do though. I benefitted by showing god I loved him more than money. That lesson has damaged me again and again. When my wife was kicked out of the country, I was told that maybe god wanted me to go to mexico to help preach there. Ever negative thing that happened, I was told to go along with and look for the victory. That counsel has damaged me and I'm only now seeing any relief since I've started standing up for myself. A little too late in some instances, but now I'm mad that there advice wasn't just bad it was completely against my fiduciary best interest. It was spiritual mal-practice.

  I could go on and on about how listening to their advice during my critical moments has damaged me in real and measurable amounts. They are a cesspool of horrid information and unfortunately I spent many, many years swimming in their "free" waters with my mouth open. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that -- and I wouldn't have done it if the invitation wouldn't have come with an industrial strength dose of mind-control.

  I know I need to let go eventually, but I'm not going to until I see that organization stand up and take responsibility for the crap they've caused other people. I don't care what they teach or continue to teach, but they need to openly admit to the truth about where they come from and how they get their information and they need to do this, in print, in the front of every one of their publications.

  I don't care if I live my entire life on the bottom because of the decisions I made based on their counsel, but I will not be silent about it and I will not carry that burden myself. I'm going to share it with its rightful owners, the Governing Body of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (both of Pennsylvania and New York). They have created a ravenous monster and even though each case of abuse, each failed prophecy, and each rule they create that turns out deadly adds more and more evidence to the already huge pile stacked against their being an organization from a loving, kind, or even sane god, they continue to spew forth more and more caustic bile.
• 

  Quandry

  Abandoned

  don't care if I live my entire life on the bottom because of the decisions I made based on their counsel, but I will not be silent about it and I will not carry that burden myself. I'm going to share it with its rightful owners, the Governing Body of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (both of Pennsylvania and New York).

  My husband and I wrote letter after letter to the "Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses" and received for our efforts not one answer to any question we had about hateful treatment to our daughter, and some of the most ludicrous replies. If you think you get a runaround from a government agency, you haven't seen anything yet.

  The WTS does not care what you have to "share" with them. I hope that you will take your effortsin this regard and put them into getting yourself financially sound again.

  One thing you could do is call the bank about the bounced checks. We did that once, and since we were pretty good customers who did not make a habit of it, our fees were reduced.

  Maybe you could live in a cheaper place for awhile, until things improve. In the future you could go back to school.

  Many of us are in financial binds right now due to lack of education, service jobs, wear and tear on cars from constant use in field service, etc. My husband and I are both working and barely making it.

  The good news is we are no longer under the thumb of the WTS. We can think for ourselves. Take the deep breath. Calmly asses the advice form posters here.

  You can do it!!!! Don't lose faith in your abilities!!! You have a future.
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  Abandoned

  Well, I think I need to balance the desire to see that organization brought to justice and my need to recognize the positives in my life. Last night I couldn't see any of them. Well, I talked to one of them on the phone, but I couldn't list out any of the positives if someone would have put a gun to my head. Even though everything looked bleak, here is the list of things that I believe are working out for me:

  • My mom and dad and brother and sisters all love me.
  • I'm out of the JW cult
  • I'm still not smoking (Take that Joe Camel! HAH!)
  • I still have some of my sense of humor
  • I have access to the computer
  • I can write poems, songs, and stories
  • I'm making good progress on my short story book. (even though I can't publish it until my bank account is fixed)
  • I have a lot of friends
  • I'm a survivor (with a trace of quitter-itis at times)
  • I'm a kind person
  • I don't need religion
  • I have an OK singing voice
  • They haven't taken my car yet (I could still avoid repo)
  • I can pizzle and dizzle with the rizzle fo' shizzle. (In a honky sort of way)
  • I'm ready to defend myself again

  There, that will do for now. The wall in front of me looms gigantic from horizon to horizon without a single, visible crack, but at least there's still M&Ms in the candy dish on this side...
• 

  RAF

  Tom,

  ... I'm ready to defend myself again

  Yeaaaaaah !!!
• 

  J-ex-W

  I don't care what they teach or continue to teach, but they need to openly admit to the truth about where they come from and how they get their information and they need to do this, in print, in the front of every one of their publications.

  LOL !!! I like that...like the Surgeon General's warning on the side of a pack of cigarrettes: Warning! Content of these magazines contains materials hazardous to your spiritual, mental, emotional, educational, and fiduciary health...... Anybody care to add any?

  Great list of 'positives' on your next post, Tom! I'm glad you realize you have so much going for you...especially so people in your corner!! And...

• I can pizzle and dizzle with the rizzle fo' shizzle. (In a honky sort of way)

  You GO, dude!!! --You got this, you got it FO SHO!!!

Also...

Well, I ran into some obstacles today. I did call in sick though. Both jobs today and tomorrow. I went to the social security office, but I make too much to qualify for disability. I did tell the lady that I couldn't keep up the pace I'm going though so she did give me a packet. Then I went to the mental health place to set up an appointment, but apparently they close early on fridays. I went to the legal assistance place and I filled out the form but I can't turn it in since I don't have anything that verifies my mom's income.

All of these things...only represents delays...NONE of them represents a dead end. Delay does NOT equal 'dead end'....

Remember that!

Hang in there...we're all rootin' for ya!!!