Please reconsider anything drastic. Maybe get a good night's sleep, because you're stressed out, and I don't blame you! Robdar's advice sounds good. Even if you move away, you'll still need an income to eat. Do you get any paid vacation time to put your affairs in order, rest, think? Maybe make an appt. with a bankruptcy attorney and weigh your options. Take care!
I've given up.
by Abandoned 61 Replies latest members private
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Good Girl or Bad Girl?
Best wishes, Abandoned. It sounds like you are getting some stellar advice here!!!!
I know I feel a lot of my financial "woes" have to do with the WTS; for me it was being disfellowshipped, and then "forced" to live in an apartment I couldn't afford by myself because my JW roommate had to move out and my JW landlords said "too bad" when I asked them one month into the resigning of the lease if there wasn't something they could do under the circumstances. I couldn't afford to live there by myself but was stuck in a lease, couldn't have a JW roommate and couldn't have a "worldly" roommate. Then I was "forced"* to quit my job due to bad association and work a really crappy job with no insurance and a pay cut, was severely depressed due to the shunning, and my new boss being a hateful jealous manipulative jerk. I ended up shelling all kinds of money out for anti-depressants and doctor bills. At one point I was paying for groceries on credit cards because I had nothing.
My JW's think I deserved all this. Brought it on myself and what-not. Yep, because I made the same mistakes most others around me made too, but I was honest enough to come forward with it.
This too shall pass, Abandoned. You are in a serious situation but please don't give up hope yet. Sometimes the best thing we can hope for is more hope. You have a lot of support here.
*If you ask my JW's they would say I wasn't "forced" to do anything. But they weren't in the umpteen judicial committees I sat through where I was told what would eventually get me reinstated and what wouldn't. It's emotional blackmail and it IS cooercion, when all you know and all that makes up your entire world is in limbo while you remain not of the world but not of the congregation. It's a very sad and lonely place that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
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MsMcDucket
Hey! I hear ya! Man, when my mom got sick, my husband got sick, and I got sick, I've had bills up the ying yang! I quit my job because of stress, thinking I'd be going right back; and then my mother got really ill and was hospitalized (it was horrible). My mother died in November. My husband's been in and out of the hospital for a heart attack in January, GI Bleeds (several), and a second heart attack. It's just one thing after another.
I'm a nurse and I blamed myself for my mother's health. She died from something that could of been treated. She didn't have Alzheimer's and she could get around on her own. It was more than I could bare. Here I am working taking care of other people and my mother dies from something treatable! Shit!!! Now, I'm scared to leave my husband at home. I seen a my old job in the paper they were offering a $5000.00 hiring bonus for a RN. Some of the staff called and begged me to come back. I'm like I'm not the same and I don't feel well; I'd bring you all down, which is true.
Anyway, did you do a cost of living comparison? http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/costofliving/costofliving.html (Oops! How'd that video get in there? )
Did you check with legal aid? http://www.lawhelp.org/program/2319/RTF1.cfm?pagename=Legal%20Aid%20Society%20of%20Minneapolis
Did you check with the unemployment office? A lot of people don't know that they are eligible for unemployment even if they're working if they are not making a certain amount.
Also check with your local Social Services.
Wishing all the best! Hang in there!
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bebu
(((abandoned)))
I'm sorry that finances have come undone for you. Please be careful not to do anything rash. Our knee-jerk reactions can be wrong, you know. Look into Robdar's suggestions. And, can you talk to your bank at all about waiving fees? Try it! I have been successful. If you don't communicate your situation and your intentions to any of these creditors or the bank, they will automatically assume you are a complete deadbeat and treat you like one.
Hang in there! You can overcome this. You strike me as a very capable man. Don't let this take you down.
bebu
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Abandoned
Thanks everyone. I'm not sure what's going on right now. I'm just tired of grabbing at the bottom of this rope hanging three feet above my head and never getting enough to grab a hold of and pull myself up. I'm not high-minded so I don't need to get rich or even better off, but I can't keep grabbing at this rope if it really, truly is out of reach.
I'm going to take a day off from both jobs tomorrow. I know it will piss some people off, but tomorrow is a take care of Tom day. Tonight could have taken a really nasty turn if it weren't for a call to and from a really good friend. But, I'm thinking clearer and in the moment and such, and so tomorrow is a take care of Tom day which includes going to see if I apply for legal assistance through the county, disability, counseling, or whatever else I may be able to take advantage of. I'm out of answers and out of the desire to try to handle this by myself any longer. I'm over my head and I need help.
I guess I'm going to get through this. If I could get back to square one, with what I know now about building wealth, saving, and writing and such, I know I could take care of myself, but the hole I'm in is just too big and the sides are too steep and then there's those assholes who keep throwing clumps of dirt at me. It truly seems that some people who would benefit from me being financially healthy would rather watch me sink deeper just so they can look and sneer.
I don't know where I am but hopefully I'll find a solution,either up or down, soon.
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Twitch
Life is a swirling, sucking eddy of despair filled with brief glimpses of false hope in an ever darkening universe - Bill Maher
You know, even when things are their worst, this makes me laugh. Perhaps it was the wry grin on Bill's face, perhaps the pure essence of utter hopelessness in the statement or perhaps I'm just whacked. In any event, perhaps you can find some touchstone to bring you back when you feel you're drowning. There is always a way and a choice.
Oh, and running won't help. In fact, it only gets worse.
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MsMcDucket
Hoping that this will give you some hope!
How Tyler Perry rose from homelessness to a $5 million mansion
Ebony , Jan, 2004 by Zondra Hughes Find More Results for: "tyler perry homeless " Tyler Perry hopes to... Tyler Perry: meet the... From the streets to... The new Amos 'n'...
ON a warm and breezy Georgia morning, a tall, toned and down-to-earth Tyler Perry swaggers onto the front porch of his grand palace, dressed to the nines. The 34-year-old new-school playwright, who has, he says, made over $50 million writing and producing plays for the urban theater circuit, says that his 12-acre estate, nestled some 25 minutes outside of Atlanta, is a brick-and-mortar testament to the rewards of faith. Perry should know; in the not-too-distant past, he was jobless, penniless and homeless.
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_3_59/ai_111850312
He was the one that wrote The Diary of a Mad Black Woman.
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Junction-Guy
I hear you abandoned. I struggle from one payday to the next, the bill collectors call every day. Here is a little piece of advice that may or may not help you. Try shopping around the country for the various debtor laws. Some states are stricter and some are more lenient. Remember OJ Simpson moved to florida so they couldnt garnish his earnings. I just was told last night by a woman at work that in North Carolina they dont garnish wages either. It might pay you to look around the country to see which states are more debtor friendly.
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jgnat
I like robdar's advice best. I also like the idea of going to a cash system in the interim. A year ago I was much worse off than now, but I didn't go as far down as you have. What helped me was a confession to my banker, and some help completing my (late) income tax returns. I'm glad I stayed the course.
so tomorrow is a take care of Tom day which includes going to see if I apply for legal assistance through the county, disability, counseling, or whatever else I may be able to take advantage of.
Just a word of caution. Begging for help from a bureaucracy is not my idea of "take care of tom day". Be prepared for obstacles, run-arounds, stuffy waiting rooms, deaf clerks, and endless forms. Try and keep the long view, though I know it is hard.
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kerj2leev
((Tom))
Sorry to hear about your problems, though I think you are on the right course to fix them! There are programs out there designed to help you get some breathing room!
Just a word of caution. Begging for help from a bureaucracy is not my idea of "take care of tom day". Be prepared for obstacles, run-arounds, stuffy waiting rooms, deaf clerks, and endless forms. Try and keep the long view, though I know it is hard.
Geesh....nothing like a positive attitude, maybe you should think before you write!!