Do you like being a

by BiancaAustralia 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • bonnzo

    i was an elders son. i got away with a lot, but now i think it makes it harder. expectations are too high.

  • Tyrone van leyen
    Tyrone van leyen

    I think it just depends on the disposition of your father. Is he an idealist that lives by the book, or a realist that can provide protection and knows the game? Those factors will determine your hell or your hapiness.

  • penny2

    Hi Bianca, welcome to JWD. Being an elder's daughter - people expect you to set a high standard.

    DO NOT GET BAPTIZED. Especially if you are having doubts and are falling for someone on the outside. Being brought up with JW principles, it can take a long time before you do something "wrong" but it will happen. It's natural to want to be loved, to be attracted to someone and sooner or later to have sex. If you are baptized that would lead to disfellowshipping. If you are not baptized, it's much easier. Your family can continue to speak to you in the future when you want to leave home.

    Most of us on JWD are convinced that "the truth" is not the truth. The best advice I can give you is research. There are many websites that can help you with this. One, set up by an Aussie, is If you have never questioned anything you've been taught, it will be an eye-opener.


  • penny2
    my elder dad simply stated that if you have a boyfriend that im kicking you out of home

    You already know where you stand. My advice? Start setting yourself up to be independent. Have a plan.


  • jwfacts

    Welcome Bianca, it is great to have you here.

    I am the son of a CO. Or ex son in his eyes now. Being an elders son meant being well known, but it also meant being more accountable, which in turn stops developing your real personality, as you always have to live up to the image. That is really damaging in the long term, as at some time you will need to find out who you are, rather than being the elders daughter.

    You are really lucky not to be baptised and I strongly urgue you to not get baptised. My cousin never got baptised, married a worldly guy and gets to have a totally normal relationship with all my family. Because I got baptised and then disfellowshipped I am almost totally shunned. Don't take the risk. If you don't get baptised they will always pressure you to, but that is a lot easier to live with than to have your family never speak to you again.

  • Roski


    I am Assie too - was an elder's daughter (still am - really). There is no easy answer. I got away with nothing. I eventually left my elder husband and left the organization ( although that is not official in any way). I married and "unbeliever", which was the best thing I ever did. My parents are real hard-liners, so nothing is going to change. Your parents may be different. Every journey is different, so the best thing is to be true to yourself. One suggestion - don't just throw out everything your parents told you; some of it may be good. I disagree with what my parents believe due to being in the organization for so long, but their basic principles are ethical and have been useful for me.

    Take care...

  • misanthropic

    ::Even if you dont get any kind of preferential treatment, it might not stop people thinking that you do. Thats the worst thing about it.

    Exactly and that also has an effect on how your peers treat you. I know as I got older I stopped trying to have "friends" within the organization since they treated me like I had the plague because my father was an elder.

  • avidbiblereader

    I wouldn't know but welcome to the forum and looking forward to your posts. I think that many like the idea of hanging on to the person that has privledges like this is something and yet most miss the point as Jesus said the most important thing is humility.


  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi Bianca, and welcome to the forum

    I am of the same mind as several other posters - do not get baptised under any circumstances. If you decide to leave the org. then it will be a lot less painful if you are not baptised.

  • BiancaAustralia

    Hey there

    Well my father is an idealist that lives by the book and that is the ways it is with him.

    He is putting pressure on me to get baptized.

    I cant really afford to move out and im trying to get a job.

    But being in the religion it really drags you down plus i didnt go to the last convention.

    I dont put my hand up during the watchtower.


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