Do you like being a

by BiancaAustralia 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • penny2
    penny2
    He is putting pressure on me to get baptized.

    What your father is doing is not right. Getting baptized should only be done if you have made a personal dedication to serve Jehovah for the rest of your life - and if you are prepared to live by all the rules that the "society" sets (field service 10 hours a month, 5 meetings a week and all the other requirements).

    If you think the religion drags you down, you are not going to be happy as a JW. Don't be intimidated by your father.

    Imagine if you get baptized and then do something wrong and get disfellowshipped. Your father will be even more unhappy than if you never get baptized in the first place.

    penny2

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Welcome to the forum, as other people advised do not get baptised because you will then commit yourself to a lot of trouble, in case you leave you will be shunned by most if not all JWs.

  • Alligator Wisdom
    Alligator Wisdom

    I have never been a child of an elder.

    From my observation, being one seems to mean that you would (in their eyes) have to uphold your father's credentials. It's not about you, but about him, especially if you are in the same congregation or still living with your parents. If you were living elsewhere, then the pressure isn't so bad.

    However, it goes to say that any hard-core JW would brag about their parent's position/title/status no matter where they are, dead or alive.

    Too bad about the social pressure and stress that you are currently enduring. Be wise and think about your future, as many posters related.

    Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously by WTS standards)

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    It must be hard for you being pressured by your father to be baptised. As you leave your teens the pressure can get very intense. However, be aware that the pressure you are going through is a fraction of that you would feel on being disfellowshipped and having you father telling you that unless you are reinstated he wishes never to see your face again. Or to find out that your brother or sister has been married and you were never even told. These are experiences that have happened regularly to people here. So if you have the slightest doubt about the Watchtower Society there really is no rush to get baptised. Spend a year or two reading other points of view such as at this site. The Watchtower warns against reading anything that is against the Watchtower Society. This is a common tactic with High Control religions. Steven Hassan in "Combatting Cult Mind Control" warns to be wary of any religion that forbids its members to read what ex members say. What have they got to hide? I would love to find out more about how you feel about what you have been taught, and if you feel it may still be truth.

  • free2think
    free2think

    Hi Bianca, welcome to jwd!

    Well my father is an idealist that lives by the book and that is the ways it is with him.

    He is putting pressure on me to get baptized.

    I am an elders daughter, he was top dog in the cong, and exactly as you describe above. I had to be the perfect elders daughter, and everytime I said something that wasn't very proper they would pop off to my dad and tell him. He would tell me off, even if we were in the hall. I found it very isolating as nobody wanted to hang out with the elders child, they thought I would snitch on them. So as you can imagine I didn't really enjoy the experience.

    My advice to you is don't get baptized whatever you do. I felt very pressured into baptism. But that was only the beginning. Once I was dunked it was 'you should pioneer now.' I've never had the best of health and I would have thought that would have stopped them from pressuring into it but no. So I start pioneering it goes ok for a while but I slowly start getting more and more tired until I just can't go on any longer.

    I'm now trying to fade after seeing the light. Feel free to pm me if you wanna talk.

    free

  • BiancaAustralia
    BiancaAustralia

    Hi again

    I got told off by the Presiding Overseer for not answering the phone correctly and also for holding a Apostate's baby.

    biancaxx

  • free2think
    free2think

    Seriously???How petty! What did you say? Not answering the phone correctly, that's a new one....How are you supposed to answer the phone? I've heard that before about not helping out disfellowshipped people with their children, (as if it has anything to do with the child anyway). Crazy!

    I'm glad you keep posting though, has it helped you at all?

    free

  • BiancaAustralia
    BiancaAustralia

    Hi again

    free2think that really did happen to me.

    It has helped me coming on here cause this forum is so special to me.

    xx

  • LeslieV
    LeslieV

    First Bianca welcome to the board. We are all glad that you are here with us. I left the JW religion because I did not want my three daughters raised as second class citizens. I wanted them to have an educations and experience life. There JW elder father wanted them to only pioneer, find a good JW young man and get married.

    So all my daughers were raised as an elder's daughters. My oldest had it the most difficult. You are expected to be an unbaptized publisher, become a baptised publisher, pioneer etc. Remember to your dad what you do reflects on him. It is all about what others think of you when you are an elder. Because of this feeling that kids have to live up to the whole congregations expectations is really burdensome to young people. Whatever you do DO NOT GET BAPTIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once that happens you are really held to very high expectations with dire consequences.

    Keep coming back we are concerned for you.

    Leslie

  • DJK
    DJK

    Do not get Baptised until you are sure of what you want. If have a good man you don't want to lose him just yet. You have a long life ahead of you, so take your time and make decisions that you won't regret later.

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