by The Dreamer 43 Replies latest jw experiences
Mals
I don't know what you did after you got drunk...............But I bet you didn't have sex with your father!
That was what Lot and his daughters did after they got drunk.....and God still loved them.
I think it was Jeaus said "He who is with out sin cast the first stone.".......But He believed in forgiveness unlike the "religious leaders" of the day.
Welcome Dreamer
I have been a life-long JW before stumbling onto this site.
One time I turned my self in....and said I needed "counseling"..........wtf? IF my conscience bothered me so much, why do I need more counseling?
That taught me a lesson: my conscience is my guide and I will never again let some imperfect person condemn me after my conscience has.
Glad you are here.....sorry about the df'ing.....sounds like it was quite unfair and not loving.
Codeblue
Dreamer,
Welcome, here you will find friends to give support.
Your words "they took away my life" well, no one has that power. Don't give it to them. Take time to get your life under your own control.
Also the title 'New and SAD'. Please dont allow yourself to become OLD and sad while you are considering your future.
Witchettygrub
Dreamer, we're all in this together: grieving for our lost loved ones as though they've died! You need comfort while dealing with this, be patient with yourself because you are not to blame!
catfish
Mals welcome to the board,
I wish I could type something to make you feel better. When I walked away from this cult I didn't feel like I lost a lot, my family pretty much kept communications open with me, my mom tried to be a hard A** but maybe the risk of loosing contact with her grandchild made her keep in touch.
The friends I had growing up had already begun to fade because I really didn't associate with them. I had more non JW friends and they are still my friends and supporters today.
So, keep your chin up, try to move on. If you do get reinstated then fade do you think things will be better with your family and friends?? Chances are that if these people are not there for you now they won't be there later!!
Hugs to you from me whenever you need them
Welcome to the board! Sorry you have to go through this mess.
I was disfellowshipped due to drunkenness
You wouldn't believe how many people at Bethel have a drinking problem. This religion is made up of disgusting hypocrites.
Welcome mels - it is an idea to get reinstated and then fade, you'll get advice how from here! i was never df'd or da'd but still no one talks to me. Will you get friends and family back just to lose them all again? it hurts me that my jw family and friends (apart from my mom shes great) dont talk to me but im going to start lovebombing them cos im not talking to them just as much as the other way round so who knows - i may get some friends and family back but i dont think it will be the same.
{{{{{{{Mels}}}}}}
Welcome to the Forum.
Sorry for what you are going through. There is nothng we can do to change peoples minds about us if their minds are controlled by the men of Bethel.
You will rise above it all and find a new life free of that control. The moment you knew that God had forgiven you but they hadn't was the Light of God's true unconditional love. He loved us first, just the way we are.
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
God did not wait until we were righteous enough to love us. Jesus died to pay the price for all our sins so that we are forgiven the moment we are sorry for them. He then gives us the strength to overcome them. Hang in there, it gets better. Reach out in love to those you love if you feel moved to, and if they reject you don't take it personal, their minds are not their own.
Love,
Kate
New&Sad--very sorry to hear about how you have been treated, it's very unChristian and unkind. Jesus & God love you and have already forgiven you a long time ago.
I was reinstated and then faded, but the JWs I used to know treat me like I am disfellowshipped and don't speak to me. My sister doesn't speak to me anymore either. So getting reinstated is not all it's cracked up to be, but you need to do what's best for you.
Drinking problems are pretty common in the JW religion, partly because of the stress people are under trying to please the elders, the congregation & the Watchtower Society, in other words--trying to please men and not God. You are brave and taking a big step to get a handle on your issues, YOU CAN DO IT! But only if you have a big enough support group that includes nonJWs. I suggest that even if you plan to get reinstated, that you join AA, maybe get some personal counseling, and do all you can to build friendships outside the Kingdom Hall by having hobbies or different interests or taking classes.
I wish you much luck and hope to hear more posting from you!
Alcohol abuse or dependence is a medical condition that requires professional help, for both the physical part and the emotional part.
Elders are only equipped to counsel you from their (warped, sick, twisted) spiritual perspective. I know the org has "inculcated" you into thinking the elders can cure everything, but the truth is, going to the elders for help with alcohol abuse is like going to the mailman for help with a broken leg.
Try to get yourself some talk therapy as part of your treatment. Talk to the therapist about your experiences with the org and ask him/her to help you sort out your feelings so you can come to your own decision about what to do.
